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If This Magazine Is Real May I Submit It To The King Hearings? Too Late?
Al-Qaeda has launched a women’s magazine that mixes beauty and fashion tips with advice on suicide bombings.
Dubbed ‘Jihad Cosmo’, the glossy magazine’s front cover features the barrel of a sub-machine gun next to a picture a woman in a veil.
Are we sure this wasn’t made by The People’s Cube?
There are exclusive interviews with martyrs’ wives, who praise their husbands’ decisions to die in suicide attacks.
The slick, 31-page Al-Shamikha magazine – meaning The Majestic Woman – has advice for singletons on ‘marrying a mujahideen’.
Readers are told it is their duty to raise children to be mujahideen ready for jihad.
And the ‘beauty column’ instructs women to stay indoors with their faces covered to keep a ‘clear complexion’.
They should ‘not go out except when necessary’ and wear a niqab for ‘rewards by complying with the command of Allah Almighty’.
A woman called Umm Muhanad hails her husband for his bravery after his suicide bombing in Afghanistan.
And another article urges readers to give their lives for the Islamist cause.
It advises: ‘From martyrdom, the believer will gain security, safety and happiness.’
More traditional content for a women’s magazine includes features on the merits of honey facemasks, etiquette, first aid and why readers should avoid ‘towelling too forcibly’.
A trailer for the next issue promises tips on skin care – and how to wage electronic jihad.
I have to get this magazine. How many more beauty tips can you give to an Islamic Fundamentalist woman? Show more or less ankle, and try not to make your crotch look like Don King is tunneling through the floor from the basement. There. Every issue.
ironyCurtain
March 14th, 2011
Who’s that hot fox on the cover? Grrrrowl!
Corona
March 14th, 2011
Still better than Newsweek.
FreakyBoy
March 14th, 2011
Good idea Ginger. I’ll get it started.
“How to tell if your man is cheating with his goat”.
“Should you fake orgasm without a clitoris?”.
Cosmo Jihad Quiz: Are You His Favorite Wife?
FreakyBoy
March 14th, 2011
“Beatings: Is It True Love?”
Bill
March 14th, 2011
“There are exclusive interviews with martyrs’ wives, who praise their husbands’ decisions to die in suicide attacks.”
Well Duh! Now they aren’t being beaten or raped by their dead husbands!
anarchocapitalist
March 14th, 2011
“has advice for singletons on ‘marrying a mujahideen’.”
Are you sure they didn’t say simpletons?
FreakyBoy
March 14th, 2011
“Chickpeas and Dates: Great New Recipes That Will Keep Your Burka Sexy”.
Debbie
March 14th, 2011
Who’s going to know if their skin is clear or not?
Major Mal function
March 14th, 2011
Islamic beauty tip: How common kitchen meat tenderizer will clear stoning/whipping bruises right up.
FreakyBoy
March 14th, 2011
“How To Keep Your Male Relative Chaperone Satisfied While He Drives You The Local Bazaar”
Call me Lennie
March 14th, 2011
Cleaning The New AK-74 SMS: Even more idiot proof than the AK-47.
Call me Lennie
March 14th, 2011
Allah Akbar! New Calligraphy Stylings For Your Son’s Burial Shroud
Nunya
March 14th, 2011
‘From martyrdom, the believer will gain security, safety and happiness.’
And don’t we all want muzzies to FEEEEEEEL secure, safe, and happy? Seems to me we sh/could help them along in their goal to martyrdom
@topic: covergirl for the Raghead Swimsuit Issue: http://vladtepesblog.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/05/burkini-picture-purple.jpg
SgtZim
March 14th, 2011
I get to play “gun-grammar-nazi” today.
Not a submachine gun on the cover, AKs are not subsonic, nor do they fire pistol rounds.
anarchocapitalist
March 14th, 2011
BARE FEET!!!
That WHORE should be stoned…or gang raped.
Hey, how ’bout we do BOTH!