iOwnTheWorld.com

Can we only do one? I’ve got so many ideas. Blast! I will try to narrow it down.
You can do 1000 – no limit – bfh

0

I’ve got your liberal education right here, punk.

+6

Say hello to the Secretary of SLATE! (and then our hero smashes a Glenn Beck blackboard over the villains head.)

+5

I just know I’m gonna hurt my foot…kicking your ass.

+3

When asked why he did what he did to America Obama replies, “Well I’m all broken up over those Americans’ rights.”

+3

We could do an entire movie just called “Dirty Barry”.

+8

Hero is cornered by illegal aliens. He then inexplicably stands with his hand over his heart and starts singing.(Sung to the tune of America.)

My Country … SAYS A ME!!! (and knocks them all out with a Burt Reynolds punch from Smokey and the Bandit.)

+1

Teddy Kennedy always said, “Life is like a box of chocolates. You know I’m gonna get ‘em all and you’ll never get any.”

+1

“Welcome to the House AND Senate of pain!” as our hero punches his fist through Pelosi’s face and all her Botox injections explode.

+3

Coming soon from Commie PicturesMichelle Obama stars as Boobeltarella.

“We’re gonna bury more than turnips.”

+2

Obama the destroyer

“I’ve got two words for you, Bankrupt.”

+6

You know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna teach you the three “r”‘s

Readin’, Ritin’, and Rhinoplasty! (elbow to the nose)

+7

In a film about the lurid fever swamps of Washington, DC, Patrick Kennedy says, “I’m gonna stick my head so far up your ass the water on my brain will quench your thirst!” to a stunningly beautiful 27 year old female Congressional aide.

0

My Country … SAYS A ME!!! (and knocks them all out with a Burt Reynolds punch from Smokey and the Bandit.)

And when they came to, one of them said “wow, that’s gonna leave a bruise, and I’m not talking about a 12 pack either, but the kind that leaves a mark on your face and hurts, unless I got punched you with a can of beer in his hand, in that case I got a bruise with some brews and, uh…??

I’m thirsty.

0

Obama to Larry Sinclair

Go ahead, make me gay.

+5

I’m not thru with you by a damn sight! I’m gonna get Founding Fathers on your ass!

+8

Bow on this, MOFO!

+2

F#ck you, Kosshole!

+4

As the great Tax and Spend shark circles the sinking U.S. economy, the nerdy aide says to his gruff congressman, “We’re gonna need a bigger tax!”

+7

Ted Kennedy “So you think you can swim?”

+2

Prominent civil rights lawyer (Elena Kagan?) with the ACLU, dressed somewhat like Lady Liberty, “Give me your tired your poor, your huddled masses, yearning for free shit!”

+2

Barack Obama – I’m gonna run this country like Kennedy’s fly planes.

+2

As said to Obama “You didn’t win, stupid fag, we all lost!”

+4

Unruly mob of Nevada voters in a modern western political drama to Harry Reid, “Are you feeling lucky, Punk? Well – Are you?”

+1

Conservative Man “Don’t take this the wrong way, Barack, we just don’t like you.”

+2

Hero jumps out behind Pelosi while she’s applauding calderone…

(def in an Dirty Harry voice)

“What’s that? You wanna give a standing ovation to that scum?! How about a standing OVULATION!!”

(swift kick to the c**t!!!!)

round house kick to Biden.

+5

Wise and somewhat cynical longtime observer of the political scene to shocked young, still naive, would be politician, “Grace is not required, once the bribes are earned”. (h/t to Edith Wharton)

+1

Ann Coulter “Even in this dress, I’m twice the man obama is.”

+6

“Here’s a fist you may not like!!!” as our hero punches the shit out of Kevin Jennings for teaching his kid lude sexual practices.

+6

Obama to his commie followers – “I made John Galt my bitch!”

0

Oh, my bad. You said heroes not villians.

+1

Take your stinky paws off me, you damn dirty democrats.

+3

Jigsaw: “Most consider you to be the embodiment of hope and change; I consider you an abomination.”

+1

I don’t think you understand, mr. You just pissed off my grandmother!

+1

Even a dumb ass can give a speech with a teleprompter!

+3

Hero doubles his fists and says to slimey Democrat: “Say hello to my two friends: Thomas Jefferson and James Madison.”

+2

I got all the time in the world. You don’t, but I do.

+3

“Let me introduce you to the business end of my 2nd Amendment rights.”

+1

“I have come here to chew bubblegum and kiss ass – and I’m all out of bubblegum.” Obama at his last State Dinner, courtesy of “They Live.”

+1

Forgiveness is between them and God. It’s my job to arrange the meeting.

0

January 20, 2012

Hasta la vista … BARRY!

+5

You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me? Then who the hell else are you talking… you talking to me? Well I’m the only one here. Who the f*ck do you think you’re talking to?, said Obama to his reflection.

0

As he holds a gun to Ahmadinejad’s head-

“Durka Durka, Mohammed Jihad, MOFO!”

KABLOOOOOOOEY!

+1

“VOTE FOR ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!”

+1

Hero…crashing the Barb Boxer re-election party…
(again in DH voice)

“Ya wanna know what’s on my mind? Well I’m gonna tell you…with my BRAIN FIST!!!”

(ridiculousness ensues)

+2

I hope you got your free health care,cause son, you’re gonna need it.

+3

Chuck Norriss to a captured Muslim terrorist

Start talking … or I’ll kick you in the nuts so hard you won’t even be able to get it up for the virgins in heaven

+6

Obama watching a porno. “I’ll have what she’s having.”

Sorry, I thought it was funny.

+8

Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn’t have f*cked with? That’s us, Obama, the American people.

+2

Mildred, your son wants to be an aristocrat.

Ohmigod, what did you say, Gerald?

I said, “Your son, Melvin wants to be an aristocrat.”

Jesus, Gerald, “I thought you said a Democrat!”

+4

Section 25(a)(4)(iii) of the Health Care Bill: “I see dead people.”

+3

bite this, barney

0

OH … you were finished. Well, allow me to retort! What does Ann Coulter look like?

What?

+2

So vote once, vote tuh-wice, for Barcky Obumbles… you middle-class honkies.

0

I’m your HuckleBARRY

+1

Does she look like a bitch?
What?
Does she look like a bitch?
Nooh
Then why do you keep calling her a bitch? Yes you do Keith. You always call her a bitch. And Ann Coulter don’t like to be called a bitch by anybody except the Tea Partiers

+3

You’re the Democratic nominee!

You make it sound like a death sentence.

It is, but not like real death where they have a funeral, and they stick you in a box in the ground, and people come and mourn and say nice things about you, but a different kind of death, but death just the same.

0

“Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, Teddy.”

+7

Barack to George “Yippee Kay Aye Brother Hutter.”

0

He is only known by the fur hat on his head and he is feared by all libprogs. It is November 2, 2010. He is closing in on the O(bama)P(elosi)R(eed) trifecta. He is in the building — they are crouched in a closet, shaking. The door opens…a light falls upon the frightened faces…suddenly, quickly, he breaks the news

” Time’s up! Mwhahahahah”

+3

Hey socialist,I’m gonna kick your ass so hard, your gold fillings are gonna land in your neighbors yard. That’s my idea of wealth redistribution.

+6

Hey Barack, I wonder if you’d lead better if that teleprompter was up your ass!

+1

Hey Hiney, Save Your Breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date!

+2

Obama speech after Iraq detonates a test nuke: The truth is, we acted too late. Only when our own national security was threatened, did we act. And aren’t we good little actors? As a matter of fact, I’m acting right now, playing the part of a concerned pResident. Do I smell an Oscar?

0

If this website wasn’t censored. I could have said XXXX and XXXX.

0

OK, this isn’t exactly action thriller, but does political comedy action count?

“Blazing Weasels” The scene opens with a work crew building the border fence when our malcontent hero, Slim Pickens, carrying a shovel, skulks up behind the dazzling urbanite sheriff, Black Bart Obama. Black Bart wants Doofus Biden to send a note to Governor Brewer. Doofus reads Bart’s words back to him, “Tell the Governor that I say OW!” “Got it!”

+1

Captain Planet – Al Gore? That fat pile of monkey dung. He only thinks it’s global warming because he’s 200 pounds fatter.

0

From the gritty thriller, Tax Payer.

Disgruntled tax payer, Travie Bickle prepares to take on degenerates in Congress.

“You talking to me? You talking to me? You talking to me? Then who the hell else are you talking to? You talking to me. Well I’m the only one here. Who the hell do you think you’re talking to? Oh yeah… huh… (pulls gun) okay… huh…”

(holsters gun)

“Listen you commies, you screw heads, here is a man who would not take it anymore, who would not let..”

Listen you commies, you screw heads, here is a man who would not take it anymore, a man who stood up against the scum, the freaks, the pork, the lies, the insults, the total disregard for the US Constitution, the treason. Here is someone who stood up… here is… (pulls gun) you’re dead.

+2

ooops… log in mistake.
Tax Payer was from me.

0

The most powerful man in the United States is President Barcky. You’ve heard of him? Joe Sestak is special counsel to the President. There’s a cartoon on his wall. The caption reads, “When you’ve got ‘em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.” But that would only include the men. Well, the ones with actuall balls anyway. For the women he would need a cartoon that says “When you got ‘em by the nipples, their hearts and minds will follow”, but he doesn’t so I guess he’s only worried about people with balls, or something.

0

As Barbara Boxer shoots a member of the chamber of commerce in the face, “No one calls me Ma’am”

+3

As a member of the chamber of commerce shoots Barbar Boxer in the face, “Pardon my manners, MA’AM”

+2

Obama: Don’t make me angry, you don’t want to see my…unclenched fist!”

+1

Insultor (strange visitor from the planet Asinine)

“Your so boring, even boomerangs, won’t come back to you!”

+2

Obama: “You don’t want to see me bow when I’m angry!”

+1

All these checks from Mexico?

See?

How come? Did the money originate there?

Well, I doubt it started off as pesos.

+1

Ha Ha Javalina, LOL How about

“You worked a long time to become a Senator, how long did it take you to become a bitch?”

LMAO

+5

ScratchNSniff-“You worked a long time to become a Senator, how long did it take you to become a bitch?”

Winner

+3

A reanimated zombie Eisenhower: “So, you don’t like Ike? Well, maybe –BLAM!!– Ike don’t like you.”

+2

As Obama exits after November 2012 landslide:

Let me be clear Hiney, You’re a loser!

0

Damn right I’m a racist,Human racist. This is how we deal with rats. STOMP.

+1

Interrogator to terrorist

My name is Ralph Miranda and before I give you your rights, let me lead off with a couple of LEFTS! (Scummphh! Whoommp! Huuuh!)

+3

Newly elected Sen. Haysworth (R, AZ) to Senate and White House democrats, “You gonna close that border boys or whistle Dixie?”

+2

Barack: What choice did I give the American people for dinner tonight?

Raham: Well, we gave them a choice of hamburger or fish.

Barcky: Yes, yes, I remember, I had the wagyu.

0

As the hero blasts Al Gore with a flamethrower, “Global warming? (lights cigarette on flaming Al Gore) Yeah, I’m feelin a little hot under the collar too.”

+3

Well armed AZ citizens, some months hence, to still unchecked waves of illegal Mexican and other immigrants, “Badges? Badges? We don’t need any badges! We’re legitimate citizens of the USA!”

+1

Signal 380 ppm

Al Gore (in style of heartless, early ’60′s driver’s ed. film narrator):

(narration over scenes of cataclysm)

“They think mother earth can take a few more years of their old polluting, energy consuming ways. For their cheapness and ignorance, they will pay the ultimate price. The earth will become a lifeless cinder in twenty years.”

0

American public to Obama – Show me your papers Bizatch!

0

When shooting an evil scientist in the face, “The science is settled, you’re dead.”

+3

Barcky: Am I wrong?!

Barckolytes: No.

Barcky: Am I wrong?!

Barckolytes: Yeah.

Barcky: Okay then.

0

When shooting an environmentalist complaining about overpopulation, “You were overpopulating…my face!”

+1

A little boy finally gets out of the corner where his mother had put him for cussing. He continues playing with his Arizona action set:

“Attention All Illegals bound for deportation, blame the bitch in the kitchen for the 1/2 hour delay.”

+1

Prez B.O. in Socialist Precedent (its just not hollywood without terrible puns)

“Come with me if you want to live. In perpetual debt.”

“RUN! GO! GET TO THE BORDAH!!!”

*To the Constitution* “Remember when I said I’d kill you last? I lied.”

“If I’m not me, who the hell am I!?” *after being told he didnt write Audacity of Hope*

Yes, Barry is played by Arnold. Or at least voiced by him.

+1

The name’s Lennie …. Call me Lennie

+1

You’re a neo-marxist-zoom-dweebie! What would you be doing if you weren’t destroying the United States?

0

Yoda “Fuck You, the Dark Side will.”

0

Illinois Nazis.

I hate Illinois Nazis.

+3

American People: You’re a disgrace to our country. I’d like to know how you became President anyway.

Barcky: You elected me.

0

The Joe Biden Adventure

The VP’s dramatic battle to survive beneath his canoe after capsizing in the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

“Thinking uses oxygen. I saw that on television. I must not think. I must not think.”

+1

Danger Will Robinson, Danger! And I mean ‘Will’ as in the male human name, like Bill, Billy, or Willy; a derivitive of William, not like the document people read after you’re dead so that they know what to do with all of your stuff, but Will the man-child. If I were to say Danger Willhelmina, you wouldn’t be confused would you? But, in this case, Will is a male, so I felt a clarification was, um, you know, warranted.

+1

Sure you can see my birth certificate, when you pry it from my cold dead hands!

0

Sure you can see my birth certificate, but first let me show you your spine! –Shplork!–

+1

A terrorist steps off a plane in NY. Obama steps forward with a mean look in his eye and (dramatic pause) says, “Welcome…to New York.”

0

The hero, who looks an awful lot like Frank J., impales a terrorist Nazi illegal alien on a saguaro cactus and says,”Citizenship…revoked!”

+3

Dick Cheney is holding Harry Reid off the edge of a building by the pantleg. Harry Reid says, “Don’t kill me, don’t you have a heart?” Dick Cheney grimaces, “You bet I have a heart, it’s on the table next to my bed.” AAAAAAAA!!!!!

+4

Col. Jessop: You don’t want the truth because deep down in places you don’t talk about at parties you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use then as the backbone of a life trying to defend something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said “thank you,” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest that you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you are entitled to.

Barcky: *Gulp!*

+2

Bow before Zod!!

+1

When shooting a terrorist in the face, Dick Cheney says, “It’s open season…on your face.”

+1

@ Snowball

Colonel Jessup, did you order the waterboarding?

YOU’RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!

+4

Sweet.

0

“Barry, You’re talking to my friend America all wrong. Do it again, and I’ll stab you in the eye with a soldering iron”

+1

Gov Brewer shoves a stick of dynamite into the mouth of a mutant drug smuggling Canadian(!) illegal immigrant and lights it, saying “You’re not going to the end of the immigration line, you’re going to the front of the line…to hell!”

+1

“Catch.” “That’s a 45 round…the next one comes a lot quicker.”

+2

“Wealth redistribution, huh? I prefer flaming gasoline from my flamethrower distribution.”

+2

Barney Frank interrogating an American who made a citizens arrest of a terrorist, “Won’t talk huh? Hey Massa! Get me…The Glove!”

+1

Chuck Norris round-house kicks Barney Frank into an open grave, “I’ve got an epitaph for ya, Slippery When Dead!”

+1

You a funny guy Grayson, we like you. That’s why we’re going to crush and humiliate you last.

+3

Frankly Barry – we don’t give a F#ck!!!

+1

November 2010 – Set It Off!!

0

Fred Thompson waits impatiently to pull the switch during an execution of a terrorist, when the terrorist starts badmouthing America. Fred Thompson calmly lights his cigar, pulls out his pistol and says, my watch may not say midnight, but my pistol says it’s twelve o’ GLOCK. Blam!!

+4

Remember Grayson when we promised to crush and humiliate you last –

We lied

+4

Take your stinking laws off me, you damn dirty libs!!

+1

” Just when things seem at their darkest, it’s time to break out the TEA & PARTY! “

+3

” Remember what they said about payback…November is gonna be the new bitch! “

+1

Alabama Ag. Commissioner Candidate to obama, “After We convict you of treason, You’re gonna be swinging from that tree Son!”

0

” DEMOCRATS….NOVEMBER…BE AFRAID…BE VERY AFRAID!!!!

+1

I have HAD it with all these motherf*cking snakes on this motherf#cking Hill

Uncle Sam L Jackson

+6

Small businessman hit with the latest round of tax and regulation hijacks a TV station and tells the world,
“I’m mad as hell and you’re not going to take any more!”

+2

” Liberals… out of office…no one can hear you scream “

+2

Congress – we must break you!!

0

“Looks like I picked a bad week to stop sniffing glue” from “Snakes on Air Force One”

0

Airplane pilot hero to childish petulant legislator:

Bawney, did you ever hang around the gymnasium? Bawney, you like movies about gladiators?
Bawney, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?

+1

“Life is hard – it’s harder if you’re stupid” “Never say sorry – it’s a sign of weakness” John Wayne

0

Next time Eric Holder criticizes a statute without reading it

“Mr Holder, here is a dime. Take it and call your mother and tell her that there is serious doubt about your remaining the Attorney General.

+1

We tried being reasonable – we don’t like it!

+2

Barry needs to know his limitations.

+1

Sometimes if you want to see change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands.

+1

I have a very strict gun control policy – if there’s a gun around I want to be in control of it.

+2

Uncle Al – Well I’ll be damned, you came back.

~

“You seem like a nice guy, Uncle Al. I really do feel sorry for you. But if you still try anything or try to run away again, I’ll blow your fucking brains out!”

0

@Snowball – Catch me if you can, and adspice tergum

+2

“Where did you find these pecker woods?” John Wayne, to Congress.

0

Barack, you have the right to remain silent. Use it!

+1

The Headstrongs married the Armstrongs and that’s why Barry was born – Groucho Marx

0

In Washington no one can hear you scream.

+1

Gypsey Wedding, Big Brawl. Police questions Best Man.

Sgt. Well now Harry could you tell me what happened?

Best Man. Well sur I was dancin’ with the bride
an’ Ollie, the groom, ya know, comes up and kicks her right in the arse.

Sgt. Well now Harry was it a affectionate sort of kick or a hard one?

It was a hard kick sur, broke four o’ me fu*kin’ fingers.

+2

Now you can believe it or not. But that’s a true story.

0

You see – We the People don’t like Congress laughing – we get the crazy idea that they’re laughing at us!

+1

Obama “the police acted stupidly.”

Conservative Guy “Yo moma acted stupidly by laying it down fo yo daddy.”

0

WHAT THIS NATION NEEDS IS AN ENEMA!!!–Socialist Joker Obama in Ratman.

0

I’m here to form a more perfect union…
My Fist and Your Face!

+2

A lot of people still have the first dollar they ever made.
Barack Obama is trying to get all the others.

+3

One if by land – (punches villain)
TWO if by sea! (kicks the villain in the nuts.)

+3

Like a pretty girl on prom night, doesn’t matter what you wear you’re gonna get screwed.

+1

Obama and our hero square off…
Hero:
Four out of five dentists agree,
you have no TEETH!

0

Our hero drops Obama and Pelosi into the vat of acid as he lights up a cigar.

Plop! Plop! Fizz! Fizz! (takes a puff) Oh what a relief that is…

+5

“Plug the damn hole”

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+2