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Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

Home - by - June 3, 2013 - 11:30 America/New_York - 21 Comments

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070109 odonnell Meteorologist Rosie ODonnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

NEW YORK – Internationally famous meteorologist and comedian, Rosie O’Donnell, has determined that global warming is the culprit behind last week’s deadly tornadoes. O’Donnell shared the results of her research during an interview on NPR this morning, confirming what other celebrity scientists have been warning about for quite some time.

“Miss O’Donnell is in her laboratory sixteen, sometimes eighteen hours a day,” her publicist told reporters during a telephone conference. “She some how manages to squeeze in time for daily radio and TV shows, raise her children and cook large beef-based meals between climate experiments and other cerebral science stuff. She’s a busy woman who knows no boundaries.”

Fellow scientist and entertainer, Bill Maher, concurred with O’Donnell’s findings that global warming is causing killer tornadoes. He also claims that if people would smoke more pot, purchase prostitutes and burn their bibles it would make life much easier by helping to ease the agony of their impending annihilation that is guaranteed by the calamitous effects of global warming. When asked if burning bibles wouldn’t contribute to more global warming, Mr. Maher smirked and called the questioner an “asshole.”

Bill Maher 300x219 Meteorologist Rosie ODonnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming

In a recent interview with Science Magazine from his lab at the National Center for Atmospheric Research, famed astro physicist and television actor, Alec Baldwin, said that he not only concurred with his colleagues O’Donnell and Maher, but claims his research in atmospheric phenomena and his long term experiments with wind patterns, co2 cosmology and barometric pressure has convinced him that not only is global warming causing devastating tornadoes, but it is almost certain to have a hand in the recently discovered sporadic mating rituals of the western Phrynosoma platyrhinos, more commonly known as the horny toad.

“My research has led me to conclude that global warming has confused the horny toad and instead of mating, sometimes they just dance for several days and then pass out,” Baldwin said.  MORE

» 21 Comments

  1. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    June 3rd, 2013

    DAMN!!!
    I refreshed the page and nearly fell off my chair!!!
    Warn a bitch next time.

    Thumb up +2

     
  2. Czar of Defenestration

    June 3rd, 2013

    Tsunamis are caused when she pees.

    Thumb up +8

     
  3. Irony Curtain

    June 3rd, 2013

    More global warming has been caused by burritos for dinner in the O’Donnell household than anything else on earth.

    Thumb up +5

     
  4. Stirrin the BS

    June 3rd, 2013

    So in otherwords, every time a she opens her mouth.

    Thumb up +3

     
  5. Eleanor in Hell

    June 3rd, 2013

    “Fearing a family predisposition to developing brain tumors, Ms. O’Donnell had her brain removed as a preventive measure.”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  6. Tragic Redemption

    June 3rd, 2013

    I thought they were passed “globull warming” and onto “climate change”?

    On another note, I was praying for globull warming yesterday at my neice’s graduation party. It was a balmy 52 degrees on June 2.

    Fun.

    Thumb up +4

     
  7. hanoverfist

    June 3rd, 2013

     
  8. Horrorman18

    June 3rd, 2013

    …and all famines are caused by O’Donnell’s hunger pangs

    Thumb up +2

     
  9. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    June 3rd, 2013

    Oh, man, this round goes to Eleanor!

    Thumb up +3

     
  10. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    June 3rd, 2013

    Isn’t Rosie’s ass the reason we have tides?

    Thumb up +3

     
  11. Horrorman18

    June 3rd, 2013

    Te answer is: Rosie O’Donnell, Bill Maher, Alec Baldwin and John Travolta….What are 4 names that will never be uttered at a Mensa roll call

    Thumb up +4

     
  12. Horrorman18

    June 3rd, 2013

    She is also responsible for all erectile dysfunction

    Thumb up +8

     
  13. serfer62

    June 3rd, 2013

    YEAH! and she’s fat because of spoons!!!

    Thumb up +2

     
  14. Death_By_Farts

    June 3rd, 2013

    If I ever meet Big Rosie…I’m going to jail.

    Thumb up 0

     
  15. Anonymous

    June 3rd, 2013

    Dykes with mikes.

    Thumb up 0

     
  16. Moochoman

    June 3rd, 2013

    Why do news people even bother to publicize these egotistic idiotic rambling statements by a bunch of second raters. Seems like a waste of good ink to me

    Thumb up 0

     
  17. Corona

    June 3rd, 2013

    “Miss O’Donnell is in her laboratory sixteen, sometimes eighteen hours a day”

    That is the funniest thing I’ve read in weeks.

    Thumb up +1

     
  18. Tim

    June 3rd, 2013

    Uhhh, Rosie, dear … would you care to explain the causality? I’m certain that with the vastness of your intellect and your subtle understanding of Physics you could take the time to dissect the argument for a poor but honest plumber?

    I’m just not seeing the connection between a hoax and the weather.

    Thumb up +1

     
  19. AbigailAdams

    June 3rd, 2013

    “Meteorologist Rosie O’Donnell Says Deadly Tornadoes Caused by Global Warming”

    I was reading too fast and thought it said “…Deadly Tomatoes..”

    Thumb up +1

     
  20. Alxandro

    June 3rd, 2013

    According to official tornado stats, the number of tarnaters for this year is actually down from past years.

    2010 1282 total
    2011 1691 total
    2012 939 total
    2013 131 total

    Source: http://www.spc.noaa.gov/climo/online/monthly/newm.html

    Thumb up +1

     
  21. Next she will be saying that GlowBallWarming killed the Laut. He did assume room temp.

    Thumb up +1