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Why are Lesbians Fat ?

Home - by - March 12, 2013 - 11:41 America/New_York - 40 Comments

Jim Treacher

Have you ever noticed that lesbians tend to be fatter than gay guys? What was once the setup to an Andrew Dice Clay joke is now SCIENCE.

And these women — these victims — are in danger. Because of you damn wingnuts.

CNS News:

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has awarded $1.5 million to study biological and social factors for why “three-quarters” of lesbians are obese and why gay males are not, calling it an issue of “high public-health significance…”

The investigators say there has been “almost no” research devoted to this disparity, and they have set out to find the biological, psychological, and social factors behind it…

However, the NICHD said the future of the project is uncertain because of the sequester–automatic spending cuts that took effect on March 1.

!snip!
I remember Tammy Bruce tackling this subject YEARS ago. SO I did a little Googling.

APRIL 30 2007

Despite the apparent argument by some fluffy lesbians that scientists are mistaking “muscular” for obese, researchers are sticking to a finding that says lesbians are twice as likely as straight women to be fat. I tend to believe them. Last time I checked, of all the gay women in the United States (and yes, I know them all except for one or two), there was one Jackie Warner, plus one million lesbians who were not fat only because we’re constantly fighting the battle of the bulge (but determined to get that six-pack. Okay, a two-pack), and then seven million other lesbians who are, well, fluffy and muscular in the Garfield way. Not in the Jackie Warner way.

Now, just to make sure things are clear:

Jackie Warner=Fit and Muscular. And, uh, appealing.

Rosie O’Donnell=Unfit and Fat. And, uh, unappealing.

Yes, I am the Queen of the Understatement. This should clear up any confusion about the difference between the two.

Lesbians twice as likely to be obese

Lesbians are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, US researchers said. The report, published in the American Journal of Public Health, is one of the first large studies to look at obesity among lesbians.

!SNIP!

Ya, “almost no research” on the topic means “we should be able to mine this ridiculousness for a few more years. no?”

 

» 40 Comments

  1. Bad Brad

    March 12th, 2013

    To damn many tacos.

    Thumb up +5

     
  2. eternal cracker p

    March 12th, 2013

    Don’t suppose that $1.5 million will cover research on Squatch and her pencil neck husband.

    Thumb up +3

     
  3. mcfartus

    March 12th, 2013

    Pink tacos does a lesbo good!

    Thumb up +1

     
  4. CrustyB

    March 12th, 2013

    Being a lesbian is stressful. Women deal with stress by eating. Simple as that. Give me a $1.5 million grant.

    Reminds me of this exchange from “Seinfeld”:

    Elaine: “How do you know he’s gay?”
    Seinfeld: “Simple. He’s thin, neat, and has great relationships with women.”
    George: “Well, that leaves me in the clear.”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  5. giamby

    March 12th, 2013

    Isn’t that Sam Kinison holding the bat?

    Thumb up +9

     
  6. Stirrin the BS

    March 12th, 2013

    I think it’s a chicken-egg question. Which came first, the obesity or the lesbianism?

    I’m not a scientist mind you, but I’d be willing to place a big wager on the fact that fat women are not appealing to hetero men, so they turn to other fat women for solace, acceptance and intimacy.

    So, the question is NOT why are lesbians fat, but rather, why are fat women lesbians.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  7. Bad Brad

    March 12th, 2013

    They need to back up one level. 75% of LIBERAL women are fat. 100% of lesbians are Liberal. Must have something to do with self respect.

    Thumb up +7

     
  8. Garym

    March 12th, 2013

    I would like to see a study on why my wife, who was thin (with long beautiful hair) before we were married, now looks like a lesbian.
    ; )

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     
  9. metprof

    March 12th, 2013

    Everytime I see Tammy Bruce I shed a tear.

    Gawd what a waste.

    Thumb up +4

     
  10. metprof

    March 12th, 2013

    Garym, why not ask her to explain it to you.

    (Best sleep in the spare room tonight with a dresser against the door).

    Thumb up +7

     
  11. Moxie Man

    March 12th, 2013

    Gay men burn a lot of calories during sex.

    Lesbians just lie there and let the batteries do all the work.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  12. beachmom

    March 12th, 2013

    Who cares?

    Thumb up +7

     
  13. Moxie Man

    March 12th, 2013

    Lesbian carpenters are lazy, too.

    They don’t use studs, just tongue-in-groove.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  14. squatch

    March 12th, 2013

    Because they’re always eating out ?

    (Shamelessly stolen from Robomonkey at another site I frequent)

    Thumb up +7

     
  15. Garym

    March 12th, 2013

    metprof,
    I have to be careful with that, she does out weigh me.

    Thumb up +2

     
  16. hanoverfist

    March 12th, 2013

    Because the eat out more.
    Wheres my 1.5 mil.???

    Thumb up +2

     
  17. Gina

    March 12th, 2013

    i was going to write something but Garym made me forget my thoughts

    Thumb up +4

     
  18. Reaganaut

    March 12th, 2013

    Now Mayor Bloomingidiot is going to ban lesbianism.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  19. reddecaesari

    March 12th, 2013

    when did studies replace common sense?
    are any tax dollars being used?

    and as andrew breitbart said “SO????”

    Thumb up +4

     
  20. Moxie Man

    March 12th, 2013

    They don’t get enough protein.

    @Hanoverfist – I want my $750k.

    Thumb up +3

     
  21. Maksim

    March 12th, 2013

    The problem is with the definition of “obese”. What researchers and health professionals define as obese is far different than what the average person thinks it means.

    Thumb up +1

     
  22. Billy Fuster

    March 12th, 2013

    It’s obvious. Men tend to reject fat women.

    Thumb up +7

     
  23. JustAl

    March 12th, 2013

    I guess I’ve never noticed. The only Lesbians I ever knew was a couple who’s “Holly Union” I photographed many years ago. Both were slim and stunningly beautiful.

    Thumb up +1

     
  24. Carl

    March 12th, 2013

    Let’s see. Could there be any significant differences is diets? What is it that gay men swallow but lesbians never do.

    Thumb up 0

     
  25. Diann

    March 12th, 2013

    So, let me get this straight (sorry, no pun intended):

    Barney Frank is a lesbian?

    Thumb up +8

     
  26. TexMark

    March 12th, 2013

    Not only fat, but very disgustingly rude, too! As soon as I saw the headline to this story I was reminded of that Spring night in Austin when the wifey and I went to a local, home-spun coffee shop. We sat outside at one of the tables when just a few feet from us came the distinct, audible sound of flatulence and I looked at the source being a fat lesbo who had the audacity to lean into it with one cheek off the seat, like it was a badge of honor. I guess being a lesbian can be good since they’re so earthy and build up tolerances from exposure to crudeness.

    Thumb up +6

     
  27. Marqsheb

    March 12th, 2013

    Waste of taxpayer money. They are fat because they eat too much and don’t burn off calories.

    If Obama needs places to cut money with that scalpel of his, here’sagood place to start. Then keep going to more stupid studies like this.

    NOT ONE MORE DIME IN TAXES

    Thumb up +4

     
  28. J Frank Parnell

    March 12th, 2013

    The reason for the study is to establish a basis for more welfarism in the form of healthcare (it’s a disease not a choice), affirmative action (must hire fat disgusting hairy man-hating pigs), ghey rights (redefinition of marriage); to discriminate against heteronormalcy (man, whitey, natural law).

    It’s a cameltoe underneath the tent.

    Thumb up +4

     
  29. old_oaks

    March 12th, 2013

    There’s no science behind the term “Dump Truck Lesbian” besides cold hard observation of the subjects in the wild.

    Thumb up +3

     
  30. Buffalobob

    March 12th, 2013

    So from this study am I to conclude that Rachael Maddow is only half lesbian?

    Thumb up 0

     
  31. kool aid

    March 12th, 2013

    you just made fun of every Obama Cabinet and Czar appoinment (Paul Blart, Kagen, Sotomayer on down)

    Thumb up +4

     
  32. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    March 12th, 2013

    Garym, we’re gonna miss you. lololol

    Thumb up +2

     
  33. Stranded in Sonoma

    March 12th, 2013

    …calling it an issue of “high public-health significance…”

    Because we want to be sure to spend zillions of tax dollars on studying a group of people that makes up less than 5% of the population. Yeah, that’s money well spent.

    How many pencils and notebooks will $1.5 million buy? Why are the National Institutes of Health so anti-student, anti-school, and anti-teacher?

    Thumb up 0

     
  34. MemphisRebel

    March 12th, 2013

    It’s from eating all that pie.

    Now where do I pick up my research grant check???

    Thumb up +1

     
  35. bitterclinger

    March 12th, 2013

    Why does every. freaking. thing. have to relate to what people do with their private parts?

    I don’t care!

    You don’t care!

    The only people who “care” are the commies trying to make us go broke as fast as they can.

    Thumb up +2

     
  36. Stirrin the BS

    March 12th, 2013

    This study is designed to find that the so-called Republican war on (lesbian) women is the cause of their obesity.

    Thumb up 0

     
  37. Noelegy

    March 12th, 2013

    Men, no matter their sexual orientation, tend to be visually motivated. Lesbians see staying fit as part of the same patriarchal conspiracy that expects women to wear makeup, high heels, and look like women, so they reject it. I’ll take my $1.5 million now.

    Thumb up +2

     
  38. TexMark

    March 12th, 2013

    Fat and ugly? Sounds like that Nutra-Systems commercial. Was Terry Bradshaw a lesbian… wait a sec. Is Nutra-Systems trying to fix lesbos?

    Thumb up 0

     
  39. bfpa61

    March 12th, 2013

    Simple. It’s because they don’t do Dick.

    Thumb up +1

     
  40. FabianNightmare

    March 12th, 2013

    “….Lesbians are twice as likely as heterosexual women to be overweight or obese, which puts them at greater risk for obesity-related health problems and death, US researchers said. ……”

    Does this mean that taxpayers should request that a “lesbian” tax be applied to lesbians to help defray their extra health-care requirements, such as the tax on cigarettes ??

    Thumb up 0