I have the Tee Vee on in the background as I work. I’m watching COZI TV.
It specializes in vintage programming. Marcus Welby is playing.
The show is about a guy who has “diabeetus.” Welby is concerned that the guy is gaining weight. (The guy looks like he needs a Sloppy Joe by today’s standards.) After a lot of yip yap and many commercials, it turns out the guy isn’t eating, he’s drinking because he’s going through a divorce. But then there’s a bit of a twist – the reason for his divorce is that the guy is a closet fruit.
He confides in Welby as to why he is losing his marriage and his beloved son. He can’t stop thinking about man ass. Welby looks him straight in the eye and tells him to go to a psychiatrist.
The guy says that “he isn’t crazy.”
Welby says, “that sounds like something your Dad would say,” implying that he is, indeed, in need of psychiatric help. He tells him that many guys in his situation have been helped through psychiatry.
The guy thinks about it, at home alone, in his study. After Emmy-worthy hand wringing, the guy pulls out a vial of insulin and does a Klaus Von Bulow. (I think this might be where he got the idea.)
The guy’s wife, of course, calls Welby after discovering him in a coma. Welby speeds over in his Chrysler Imperial with his magic black bag. After he pounds his chest a few times (????) the scene cuts to the guy putting on his tie in a hospital room, ready to go home (to recover from his shattered sternum.)
Welby doubles down. He tells the guy to go to a shrink. The guy finally agrees – roll credits.
I am amazed that this print wasn’t burned by the left, along with copies of Huck Finn.