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Asteroids, Polar Bear Cannibalism Lead to Global Warming, or, uh, Something Bad

Home - by - February 17, 2013 - 13:00 America/New_York - 10 Comments

TOWNHALL finance

The most pathetic part of the whole episode was that I knew that I would find it is soon as I saw the headlines and read the stories.

“A meteor streaked across the sky and exploded over central Russia on Friday,” reported Reuters, “sending fireballs crashing to earth which shattered windows and damaged buildings, injuring more than 500 people. People heading to work in Chelyabinsk heard what sounded like an explosion, saw a bright light and then felt a shockwave, according to a Reuters correspondent in the industrial city 950 miles east of Moscow.”

While reading headlines about the meteor shower in central Russia I wondered how quickly it would be before somebody tied the shower to global warming.

So I did the natural thing: I turned to Google.

And while no one had yet tied the Russian shower to global warming, I found that CNN anchor Deborah Feyerick had recently tried to tie an asteroid shower to global warming.

This from Fox News:

The threat of global warming may stretch so far beyond Earth that it affects meteorites millions of miles away in space — at least according to one CNN anchor.

“Talk about something else that’s falling from the sky and that is an asteroid. What’s coming our way? Is this an effect of, perhaps, of global warming, or is this just some meteoric occasion?” CNN’s Deborah Feyerick asked Bill “The Science Guy” Nye, head of the Planetary Society, in a Saturday segment.

The sad part is that it’s not just ditzy news anchors who propagate bad science, it’s bad scientists who propagate ditzy news.

It was over a year ago that I first reported to you that at least one climate scientist was propagating the news that global warming was increasing polar bear cannibalism.

In Watch Out! Polar Bear Cannibalism Rises on Global Warming! I wrote:

So it was unsurprising that after dodging that whole hurricane bullet yesterday scientists revealed- or at least writers who have a website with the word “science” in the name revealed- that there could be an epidemic of polar bear cannibals on account of global warming, which by now, we all know was caused by the global meltdown of the real estate market caused by greedy Republican bankers who are both greedy and Republican.

more http://finance.townhall.com/columnists/johnransom/2013/02/16/asteroids-polar-bear-cannibalism-lead-to-global-warming-or-ah-something-bad-n1513824

» 10 Comments

  1. McFartus Spontaneous

    February 17th, 2013

    None of the above. It was a giant FART from Mooch’s ass that bounced off the atmosphere above the US and rebounded into Russia.. Layoff the Chipotle Mooch.

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  2. cfm990

    February 17th, 2013

    Global warming. It’s the evil, that evil fears.

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  3. eternal cracker p

    February 17th, 2013

    Yup. My first thought after seeing the meteorite was, “Algore,” and even commented here on iOTW that “we need the leadership of Algore to prevent this from happening in the future.”

    It would be more feasible to blame this event on an earthquake (that was caused by global warming), such as the Japan earthquake that changed the axis of the earth and made a year like 5 milliseconds longer than what it would have been otherwise…. A changed axis or path in space would allow more (or less) space shit to hit earth.

    Whatever the cause, we are on a rock in the middle of no where and have no control over it. Period.

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  4. Unneutral

    February 17th, 2013

    The thinking of liberals is proof our educational system is screwed.

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  5. Death_By_Farts

    February 17th, 2013

    That does it…

    Time to ban meteors!

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  6. Chuck O

    February 17th, 2013

    Hung over? It’s not because you drank too much. It’s global warming!

    Flunked the midterm? It’s not because you didn’t study.
    It’s global warming!

    Late to work? It’s not because you overslept.
    It’s global warming!

    From now on, when troubles arise, just say it’s global warming…or climate change or whatever leftists are calling it these days.

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  7. Mr.Gates

    February 17th, 2013

    What came first, the global warming or the dumb asses?

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  8. the aardvark

    February 17th, 2013

    Dumbasses came first. You have to have at least a few dumbasses (Al Gore is a major league dumbass) in order to start false rumors AKA scuutlebutt about something thats going to kill us all like globaloney warming. And it helps to be gullible and dumb as a box of rocks, you know like your average progtard voter.

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  9. the aardvark

    February 17th, 2013

    scuttlebutt

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  10. papatim

    February 19th, 2013

    I think this could probably be traced back to Bill Clinton if the right dirtballs get ahold of it.

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