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Let’s Mooooove, But Not Too Dangerously

Home - by - February 11, 2013 - 21:45 America/New_York - 76 Comments

Parents raise 35k for cool monkey bars and then the school puts police tape around it because they say it poses a danger.

So, you want your kids to be active, right? What should they do,  stand in place and flail their arms like a retard with a sparkler?

Daily Mail

 

Health and safety killjoys have been slammed for shutting a new school playground before it was even opened over fears a child could be injured.

Off limits: Health and safety officials in Fairfax County have barred children from a new playground over fears they could be hurt

Parents had spent months raising $35,000 to pay for new climbing frame outside Stratford Landing Elementary School, in Fairfax County, Virginia – and claim they worked with authorities to ensure the site met required standards.

But before a child could set foot in the playground, authorities performed a last-minute U-turn and deemed it to be a hazard

» 76 Comments

  1. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

    lolol didn’t Joey flail his arms with a sparkler once on Independence Day?

    Thumb up +3

     
  2. KF

    February 11th, 2013

    Dangerous my butt. When I was a kid the monkey bars had sharpened spikes below them, the teachers would keep the spikes sharpened with files every morning (just to keep us motivated).

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  3. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

    *sniff sniff* Y’all smell that? Smells like somebody didn’t get their bribe and they’re awfully pissy about it, too.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  4. Kirk

    February 11th, 2013

    Just lok at it – of course it is dangerous. Kids could get caught in all that yellow tape.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +21

     
  5. Moxie Man

    February 11th, 2013

    What’s left, Dodge-Nerf?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  6. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    Why not just wrap your children up in cotton batting before sending them outdoors? Better yet, never let them see the outside world. Germs in the air, you know. But indoors is problematic, too–how about those “unsafe houses” we live in? (h/tip the Obama administration) When will things like bunk beds be outlawed?

    I remember the amazing playgrounds that were around when I was growing up. Heck, I remember the amazing playgrounds that were around even just a few years ago. Not sure if there’s anything left at all these days.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  7. FreeMan & Sarah Intend to Defend

    February 11th, 2013

    35K? When I was young we played with an old tire and a stick. A card board box and a single swing.

    And we liked it.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  8. KF

    February 11th, 2013

    There was a Dilbert cartoon where they hired an intern to flail his arms around so he would keep the eco-conscious motion detector lights turned on. Is that what they have in mind?

    Thumb up +9

     
  9. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

    haha. KF, Remember those hard ass black mats below the equipment? I think that stuff was harder than the concrete it was supposed to protect us from.

    Those parents should jack their kids up full of candy and then send them to “the authorities”. LOL

    Thumb up +9

     
  10. Ohio Dan

    February 11th, 2013

    Can you imagine boys getting up a game of mumbly peg now days?
    .
    Foninitiated Def. Mumpy peg: Mumblety peg is generally played between two people with the aid of a pocket knife. In one version of the game, two opponents stand opposite one another with their feet shoulder-width apart. The first player then takes the knife and throws it to “stick” in the ground as near his own foot as possible. The second player then repeats the process. Whichever player “sticks” the knife closest to his own foot wins the game.

    If a player “sticks” the knife in his own foot, he wins the game by default, although few players find this option appealing because of the possibility of bodily harm. The game combines not only precision in the knife-throwing, but also a good deal of bravado and proper assessment of one’s own skills.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     
  11. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

    Tire swings where the best. You just had to remember to get the mosquitoes out after it rained.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     
  12. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @Ohio Dan–

    That would mean instant SWAT team.

    Thumb up +6

     
  13. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

    Oy, WERE the best.
    OMG! I remember kids falling off the teeter totters and then flying off the merry go rounds, too. Man, the little kids caught serious air. lolol good times.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  14. Carlos the Jackal

    February 11th, 2013

    When I was a boy, if you hadn’t broken anything by the time you were 12 you were a freaking pansy.

    Thumb up +8

     
  15. BigFurHat

    February 11th, 2013

    Different rules in Ohio compared to NY.
    We played this way:
    Opponents feet start at shoulder width apart.
    Players take turns throwing at opponents feet. The player must move one foot to the spot the knife stuck in the ground.
    Player wins when the opponent chickens out by either moving his foot when a player throws the knife or simply doesn’t allow the player to throw the knife. If the player sticks the other guy in the foot he loses. So the winner might end up limping for awhile.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +16

     
  16. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    I know where there is still a (gasp) merry-go-round in a playground. Dear DHS: for a million bucks, I won’t tell you where it is.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  17. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    I had BB guns, lawn Darts, bikes with no brakes, plywood Evil Kenevil ramps, slingshots, sticks shaped like guns with the pocket knife I took to school ( I walked a mile un-escorted), really tall trees with weak limbs, homemade ziplines, home made downhill racing go-carts without brakes, cardboard sleds for steep grassy hills, little red wagons and a rope to tie to a bike, a radio flyer, sharp Ice skates and a nearby pond with thin ice and more! I didn’t need no stinkin playground! Playgrounds were for sissies!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     
  18. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    “Kenny Sullivan”?

    Thumb up +3

     
  19. RosalindJ

    February 11th, 2013

    “..the project, which was started by parents, who raised funds with auctions and cake bakes..”

    I didn’t realize bake sales were still legal in Petergof on the Potomac.

    “School Board member Daniel G. Storck, whose Mount Vernon district includes Stratford Landing, said the debacle may have been the result of a policy issue. Storck said he has been unable to determine whether the school system has written regulations regarding playground construction.”

    I’m thinking if he is a paid school board member who can’t determine such in less than a week’s time, he should be refunding his salary.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  20. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 11th, 2013

     
  21. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    I came out of the closet Mary.

    Thumb up +7

     
  22. BigFurHat

    February 11th, 2013

    You’re gay?

    Thumb up +5

     
  23. KF

    February 11th, 2013

    @MJA- those mats were worse than hard stomped-on dirt

    Thumb up +5

     
  24. Moxie Man

    February 11th, 2013

    @Mary – can’ be, “They killed Kenny!”

    Thumb up +3

     
  25. Moxie Man

    February 11th, 2013

    can’t

    Thumb up +1

     
  26. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Try another Door Mr. Hat.

    Thumb up +5

     
  27. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @Moxie–

    Wrong last name (unless Wikipedia is lying).

    Thumb up +3

     
  28. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Yeah, Moxie Man…My sisters get me coffee mugs and such with that little hooded bastard on it.

    Thumb up +4

     
  29. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Kenny had a last name Mary?

    Thumb up +2

     
  30. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    “Do you want Door Number One, Door Number Two, or Door Number Three?”

    I never could figure out which I’d choose. And of course the really good prizes were in the box.

    Thumb up +4

     
  31. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @the-commenter-formerly-known-as-Menderman–

    Check it out:

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_McCormick

    Thumb up +5

     
  32. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    I have met manbearpig…I think, but I got killed and forgot.

    Thumb up +5

     
  33. Doc

    February 11th, 2013

    Thank God we have progressive liberals looking out for us. Holy Shit, you could put an eye out with that thing!

    Thumb up +5

     
  34. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Back to the sissy playground…

    No wonder kids get tats more these days, they have no scars to show off.

    Scars are better than tatoos and have better stories.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     
  35. Doc

    February 11th, 2013

    Kenny, don’t you remember…VPGore killed MBP in a cave in Colorado that time Cartman tried to eat all that fake gold?

    Thumb up +7

     
  36. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    I got scars that have their own scars.

    Thumb up +7

     
  37. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Did I died?

    Thumb up +5

     
  38. Bad Brad

    February 11th, 2013

    I guess that kid that wouldn’t do the Librarian was frightened. I’m saddened to learn Mendermans sexual preference.

    Thumb up +4

     
  39. even steven

    February 11th, 2013

    When I was a sixth grader, a buddy and I thought it would be fun to make black powder. We went up to the local drug store and bought sulfur and potassium nitrate. I had to sign some paper to buy it, even back then. We mixed it up with some charcoal at the house in different batches and set it off in the back yard. I can’t imagine what would happen to a couple of kids who did that now.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     
  40. reddecaesari

    February 11th, 2013

    parents should call the schools’ bluff.
    sign a waiver for their kids.

    Thumb up +7

     
  41. Moe Tom

    February 11th, 2013

    BFH I outed memderman last week. Hee,hee

    Thumb up +8

     
  42. Lisl

    February 11th, 2013

    Have we caught up to Europe yet, where whistles and balloons are banned for certain age groups?

    Thumb up +7

     
  43. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    It’s a big closet.

    Thumb up +7

     
  44. Bad Brad

    February 11th, 2013

    even steven, I can tell ya what would happen. Some family friends kids blew something up on vacant lot. They cuffed the 12 and 14 year old, booked them, charged them with the same charges as the Una Bomber.

    Thumb up +9

     
  45. even steven

    February 11th, 2013

    I’ll try signing in again.

    Thumb up +4

     
  46. Bad Brad

    February 11th, 2013

    Menderman and Tom sitten in a tree K I S S I n G. You dawgs.

    Thumb up +4

     
  47. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Hey Mary, maybe I can get Biggie to put a ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ on an orange hoodie for me!?

    Thumb up +8

     
  48. Claudia

    February 11th, 2013

    I set my backyard on fire, got hit in the mouth with a baseball, cuts and bruises from tree climbing and just plain messing around, flying head over heals from bike riding; yet I’m still in one piece.

    Kids can take it – just let them.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     
  49. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Brad, it’s ’cause Moe Tom has a sexier avatar than you do.

    Thumb up +6

     
  50. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @the-commenter-formerly-known-as-Menderman (aka tcfkaM, because I’m tired of doing all those hyphens)–

    Make sure he puts skillets in the pockets for you.

    Thumb up +6

     
  51. Bad Brad

    February 11th, 2013

    What, you don’t like little Albino Bald Guys. I’m hurt.

    Thumb up +5

     
  52. aleon

    February 11th, 2013

    MONKEY bars? There’s the problem.

    Thumb up +6

     
  53. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    and I-T Mary?

    Thumb up +2

     
  54. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Your a guy? Who knew….

    Thumb up +3

     
  55. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @Brad–

    “What, you don’t like little Albino Bald Guys. I’m hurt.”

    You’re hurt? I’M insulted. Little Albino Bald Guys, indeed.

    Thumb up +5

     
  56. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    The more I think about it, the photoshop of Kenny McKormick in an orange hoodie with the ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ logo on it holding an AR-15 with the caption: “This time, the bastards didn’t kill Kenny” would be a great sellar to the low information voters!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  57. Bad Brad

    February 11th, 2013

    Mary, Sorry, PEOPLE. I just can’ handle rejection, and the thought of Tom and Menderman, Damn. LOL

    Thumb up +6

     
  58. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    DOH! “seller”…

    I speel like Menderman….

    Thumb up +6

     
  59. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @even steven–

    Thank goodness you resurrected your avatar, thus narrowly escaping the “little Albino Bald Guy” kiss of death.

    Thumb up +4

     
  60. Kenny Sullivan

    February 11th, 2013

    Tom brings the drinks.

    Thumb up +4

     
  61. MaryfromMarin

    February 11th, 2013

    @tcfkaM–

    Great idea about the Kenny-with-an-AR t-shirt. (Aarrrgh! More hyphens!)

    Thumb up +5

     
  62. Moe Tom

    February 12th, 2013

    Hey you hooligans let me tell you a story. Back in 1950 when I was 9 I fell out of a tree and broke both ankles. At the time I was collecting birds eggs as a hobbie. We would take an egg from each nest, pin prick the ends and blow the yoke out to preserve it. We had a beautiful collection among us. Hawk, Owl, pigeon, magpie, lark, Linnet, wren, you name it, we had it.
    On this particular day I was after a crows nest high in the rookery when a branch broke and I came tumbling down. My buddies ran to the farmer on whose field we were trespassing and he being a neighbor and a decent man drove me to St. Catherines Hospital where the nuns patched me up.
    I think that’s where I picked up the saying “fookin’ eegit” as that’s what Mr. Healey kept muttering as he drove.
    I spent the hot summer of 1950 in casts. It was brutal.
    Eleven years later, in 1961 at Fort Jackson SC, I I volunteered to go Airborne. I was rejected because my ankles were not up to par.
    The way I see it now is that crows nest probably saved my life.
    Only a “fookin’ eegit” would jump out of a perfectly good plane.
    Ah the kids today have no excitement in their lives.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     
  63. Moxie Man

    February 12th, 2013

    @Moe Tom: +10

    Thumb up +5

     
  64. eternal cracker p

    February 12th, 2013

    When I was a kid, the playground had parallel bars about 3 feet off the ground you could straddle, one foot on each. There was a 6 foot high bar about 6 feet from the front parallel bar you could jump to. The bar was about 7 feet from the back parallel bar. Only the big kids could jump from the back bar.

    They designed it this way on purpose, I swear, just to fuck with us kids. I missed that fucking bar by an inch SEVERAL TIMES and barely caught it with my fingertips so it would swing me just enough to put my back parallel to the ground. This resulted in falling flat on my back, knocking the wind out of me, gasping for air.

    Naturally, while laying on the ground trying to catch a breath, all kids point and laugh and it’s a big fun fest.

    Did the pain stop me? HELL NO, I was right back up trying it again. Kids today are too worried about dropping their iphone.. So there is no worry about them actually using the playground in the first place.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  65. Moe Tom

    February 12th, 2013

    Not all, but far too many kids today have no real excitement in their lives.

    Thumb up +6

     
  66. Doc

    February 12th, 2013

    Moe Tom, just think how close you could have come to jumping out of a C-47 into CUBA!

    Thumb up +8

     
  67. Moe Tom

    February 12th, 2013

    Doc, You are right on. Lucky bastid I is.

    Thumb up +3

     
  68. Moe Tom

    February 12th, 2013

    Bring back the draft. Get these kids out of their mothers basements and off the street corners.

    Thumb up +8

     
  69. BILL

    February 12th, 2013

    hell, those monkey bars were nothing compared to the beating my older brothers inflicted on me daily while we were at “play”.

    i think the “only” child syndrome has manifested itself in this “too dangerous” for play attitude.

    Thumb up +3

     
  70. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    February 12th, 2013

    “…orange hoodie with the ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ logo on it holding an AR-15 with the caption: ‘This time, the bastards didn’t kill Kenny.’”
    Hey, not just LIV’s. No use for a hoodie (I’m not a hooder), but I’d get a T done up like that. Are they out there?

    @ Kenny/Mender- There are NO gays in NC outside of the Triangle, right?

    @ Moe Tom – Re: Draft– right you are. Except since all the gayboys and women (lesbos) are choking the recruitment centers, there’s no need… right?

    I used to love the merry-go-round at Hillcrest Park in West Palm Beach in 1955. I was the pusher, my little sister the faller/holder/screamer (little girls love any excuse to scream!) Neither of us ever got hurt on it.

    Thumb up +3

     
  71. BILL

    February 12th, 2013

    my older brothers and i had a great game we played when we were 10 – 15 years old.

    we would cut long skinny trees down to make poles about 15 feet long. get out on the hudson river on small icebergs from along the shore.

    we would then attack each other by moving the icebergs around with the poles while trying to knock each other off into the freezing river water.

    then build a fire on shore to dry our clothes. we did all this in the middle of winter.

    Thumb up +8

     
  72. Kenny Sullivan

    February 12th, 2013

    Boobie, no shirts that I know of, and yeah, I’d get the t-shirt and the hoodie! And yes, there are gays everywhere. I’ve got good friends that are gay…in fact, I just RSVP’d to a party that a gay friend is having. Not all gays are like the paraders and San Fran types. Most are regular folk in their daily life and attitude…and hard core conservatives.

    Thumb up +3

     
  73. the aardvark

    February 12th, 2013

    Damned lawyers and no personal responsibility and the threat of liability issues have killed all the good kid killers. You don’t see merry go rounds that you could get a bunch of kids together to push as fast as you could and jump on just because it was fun. Nor swings that could go 15-20 ft. up into the air. And Even Steven my brothers and I were pyros back in the day, the 1960′s, we’re just damned lucky we didn’t seriously injure or kill ourselves. And from what I hear fom my Dad and at least one of his brothers they used to take dynamite from my Grandfather who used it blow up stumps on his farm and use it to kill fish on Hayden Lake in N. Idaho back in the 1930′s and 40′s. And if some of it blew up on the 4th of July so much the better.

    Thumb up +6

     
  74. Unruly Refugee

    February 12th, 2013

    @even steven
    Almost had my leg blown off with a black powder “rocket” that one of my dangerous asshole friends lit on the way home from school (yes he brought it to school). I had a limp for a while, but the hardest part was keeping my dad from finding out about it. He would have lit my ass up.

    Thumb up +4

     
  75. Unruly Refugee

    February 12th, 2013

    @the aardvark

    I drove all the way around Hayden Lake about 17 months ago. Very nice place! Saw wild turkeys in the road. I’ll bet it was a paradise back in the 30′s and 40′s.

    Thumb up +3

     
  76. Moe Tom

    February 12th, 2013

    Boobie Let the gays and lesbos join the peace corp(se).

    Thumb up 0