» News

If Obama Had a Son Who Was Having a Birthday Today He Would Be On Top Of A Guy, Bashing His Skull Into the Ground

Home - by - February 5, 2013 - 19:45 America/New_York - 25 Comments

Wonkette, on Tryavon’s birthday, apologizes to him on behalf of all white people.

No, really. They did.

Here is an excerpt. (No link. I’d rather link pinkies with a leper.)

After you were killed, we went to a march in your honor. We had met this super-cool, super-smart teenage black lesbian at one of those alternative schools, and she pretty much yelled at us because no white people had gone to protest the KKK in LA. “You are telling me no white people showed up to protest the KKK?” we asked, super-annoyed, because don’t be a LIAR. Well, no. Obviously white people had showed up to protest the KKK. But they hadn’t come in a group of white people to say “White People against the KKK.”

So at this march, we took it upon ourselves to speak as white people who were sorry on behalf of white people, because this young boy had been killed for being black, and back then, everyone still knew it.

“Dear People of Color,” read our sign, “We are sorry. Love, white people.” Most of the people of color at the march really liked it! They said thank you. We said you’re welcome, and we are sorry.

We are so sorry. And everyone else used to be too. At least until Barack Nobummer had the gall to point out that he looked like you, and is also a black man (you never became a black man, you were just a boy), and then all holy fuck broke loose because the president is a near.little boy

I have an apology.

Dear people of thinking,  I am sorry.

Wonkette, you stupid crunts. George Zimmerman is a “person of color.” And Barack Obama is a near *near. But I don’t think of him as a near. Obviously you guys do.

*Near is a Blazing Saddles reference.

Guy 1 – “The sheriff is a ni…” (Bell drowns out the second syllable “gger”.)

Guy 2 – “What did he say?”

Guy 3 – “He said the sheriff is near.”

 

» 25 Comments

  1. cfm990

    February 5th, 2013

    Why is there never any love for white Hispanics?
    No marches, no bullhorns, no nothing.

    Thumb up +7

     
  2. F.D.R. in Hell

    February 5th, 2013

    Someone needs to apologize to us, the denizens of Hades. Someone carelessly tossed trash into the River Styx. Malcolm X dragged it to shore and hauled it through the Gates. :evil:

    Thumb up +5

     
  3. MaryfromMarin

    February 5th, 2013

    Someone out there really writes like this? I throw out fiction books that read like this reads.

    Thumb up +6

     
  4. serfer62

    February 5th, 2013

    Obummer’s son is dead

    Hahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahha
    gasp
    hahahahhahahahahhahahaha

    Thumb up +5

     
  5. Dan Ryan Galt

    February 5th, 2013

    What a shame he never had the chance to reach his full potential as a repeat offending felon clogging up the legal system until he was murdered in a gang related shooting by another felon without a pistol permit using a stolen hand gun.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +26

     
  6. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    February 5th, 2013

    He and his relatives and friends exposed themselves on Twitter about their “activities”. Losers all.
    It catches up to you, eventually, doesn’t it?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  7. Horrorman18

    February 5th, 2013

    If Obama had a son I’m sure he would be going stride for stride with him in destroying this country!!!!

    Thumb up +6

     
  8. Bad Brad

    February 5th, 2013

    Tryavon, Barry’s son. The kind of person gun control never applied to.

    Thumb up +9

     
  9. Diann

    February 5th, 2013

    Fur: this is by far the funniest headline you have ever written!

    Thumb up +6

     
  10. ΜΟΛΩΝ ΛΑΒΕ

    February 5th, 2013

    “Dear People of Color. (So, they want to go back to being called ‘Colored’) We are sorry. If it were in our power, we would send you all back to the ‘Colored’ paradises of your ‘motherland’ where you came from. Love, white people.”

    …just think how the crime rate would plummet overnight!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  11. Menderman

    February 5th, 2013

    The dumbass wonkettes wouldn’t give to shit about the near near if he were killed in Chicago by another near near, is that what I am hearing?

    Oh, and Franklin, will you give Trayvon a bottle of Rush Limbaugh IT for me…I am sure the kid will love it!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  12. Goldenfoxx

    February 5th, 2013

    DH and I were out hiking the hills today – mostly horse and biking trails – very pristine trails. I happen to glance down at an empty package on the ground and it was Skittles. I said to DH “Oh look Trayvon was here.” I’m pretty sure if he were alive today, he’d be out sucker punching white women.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  13. Ty Coon

    February 5th, 2013

    God I love Blazing Saddles. You could say “near” and not offend anyone back then.

    Thumb up +8

     
  14. Ricky

    February 5th, 2013

    I’d like the original of this letter/document.. to wipe my ass with it.

    Thumb up +8

     
  15. F.D.R. in Hell

    February 5th, 2013

    @Menderman

    Trayvon loves “Two If By I-T” grape flavor. :evil:

    Thumb up +7

     
  16. Menderman

    February 5th, 2013

    Is the Grape Two if By I-T only available in your zip code?

    Thumb up +4

     
  17. Callmelennie

    February 5th, 2013

    So someone had a desperate need to march against the KKK, which has been responsible for exactly zero black deaths in the last 50 years or so.

    In the meantime, 400,000 American blacks were murdered by other blacks, and 100,000 black folks died as a result of using crack. Across the Big Pond, 7,000,000 blacks were killed in various wars and genocides in Rwanda, Uganda and The Congo between 1994-2002; 2 million were killed by Muslims in Sudan; and a few million more in Uganda, Sierra Leone, Zimbabwe, Biafra, Angola …

    But by all means, let’s self flagellate with our preciously superior white guilt because we couldn’t organize a decent anti-KKK march

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     
  18. mickey_moussaoui

    February 5th, 2013

    If Obama had a son he would be gay and yes he would either on top of or under a guy banging his skull

    Thumb up +4

     
  19. Jethro

    February 5th, 2013

    Yes Callmelennie,
    The KKK (demoncrat party) realized 50 years ago that they could get away with more oppression by turning the black community into a plantation of vote slaves, and get their jollies by watching them destroy each other without ever having to put on another white hood (at least in public…). It’s going better than LBJ ever dreamed.

    Thumb up +6

     
  20. Jethro

    February 5th, 2013

    And the white “do gooder” dupes are too ignorant to see the obvious.

    Thumb up +7

     
  21. scribble

    February 5th, 2013

    @Callmelennie – You forgot the millions killed by Planned Parenthood.

    Thumb up +8

     
  22. The Mad German

    February 5th, 2013

    Great, now the cats out of the bag with stupidity and the worlds become a free-for-all for morons.

    Who the &#$k are these dumbasses to apologize to blacks on my behalf for their ignorance?

    Are they afraid to apologize to the african americans for the blacks who kill thousands of their own each year because of their stupidity, entitlements, and votes?

    If Darwin were alive I believe he’d shoot himself based on what these dumbshits do to his theory.

    Thumb up +6

     
  23. Unruly Refugee

    February 5th, 2013

    Great comments, and super great post title BFH.

    And they miss the trouble-making criminal; just think of all the people he could have assaulted if his victim had not been a nasty gun owner, what a shameful loss …

    Thumb up +5

     
  24. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    February 6th, 2013

    Find-A-Grave does not list a TRAYVON MARTIN.

    So much for peeing respects.

    Thumb up +1

     
  25. Troy

    February 6th, 2013

    I must have missed the collective black apology for beating Reginald Denny to a pulp in LA during the Rodney King Riots?

    Thumb up +2