If Obama Had a Son Who Was Having a Birthday Today He Would Be On Top Of A Guy, Bashing His Skull Into the Ground
Wonkette, on Tryavon’s birthday, apologizes to him on behalf of all white people.
No, really. They did.
Here is an excerpt. (No link. I’d rather link pinkies with a leper.)
After you were killed, we went to a march in your honor. We had met this super-cool, super-smart teenage black lesbian at one of those alternative schools, and she pretty much yelled at us because no white people had gone to protest the KKK in LA. “You are telling me no white people showed up to protest the KKK?” we asked, super-annoyed, because don’t be a LIAR. Well, no. Obviously white people had showed up to protest the KKK. But they hadn’t come in a group of white people to say “White People against the KKK.”
So at this march, we took it upon ourselves to speak as white people who were sorry on behalf of white people, because this young boy had been killed for being black, and back then, everyone still knew it.
“Dear People of Color,” read our sign, “We are sorry. Love, white people.” Most of the people of color at the march really liked it! They said thank you. We said you’re welcome, and we are sorry.
We are so sorry. And everyone else used to be too. At least until Barack Nobummer had the gall to point out that he looked like you, and is also a black man (you never became a black man, you were just a boy), and then all holy fuck broke loose because the president is a near.
I have an apology.
Dear people of thinking, I am sorry.
Wonkette, you stupid crunts. George Zimmerman is a “person of color.” And Barack Obama is a near *near. But I don’t think of him as a near. Obviously you guys do.
*Near is a Blazing Saddles reference.
Guy 1 – “The sheriff is a ni…” (Bell drowns out the second syllable “gger”.)
Guy 2 – “What did he say?”
Guy 3 – “He said the sheriff is near.”