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Jobs Bill = Extending unemployment benefits for people who don’t have jobs.

Bipartisan support – republicans/conservatives roll over, pee on themselves and screw the country as they abandon their principles

Stupidly- just doing your job

Historic – Doing absolutely nothing, except for your melanin, that would otherwise make it into the history books

Make no mistake = I’m about to say something that is going to sound REALLY forceful, but I really don’t mean.

Emergency legislation. A bill that must be passed immediately to avoid disaster. Yet will not be implemented for at least two years

And I’m keeping my feet on this fu*king desk!

Fundamentally change America: burn the US Constitution and Bill of Rights, bury the unwashed in debt so deep they can never climb out, then take their guns and bibles so they can never start a 2nd revolution

Let me be clear=Here comes another lie

Too big to fail= government’s about to buy you out.

We will prepare the next generation for success – I will indoctrinate your children

I have no interest in owning GM = immediately fire the executives after the takeover

I Won = America Lost

This is not about me = THIS IS ALL ABOUT ME!!!!

We must fix a broken health care system – If you get sick you will be a shovel ready project.

It’s only fair = It only benefits people who voted for me.

Jobs saved: The economy isn’t getting better, my policies will contribute to the decline, and I need some sort of “success” to point to. Try to quantify “jobs saved” and prove me wrong, sucka’s.

“Not one thin dime” = every fat dollar in your wallet

Until all the facts are in

Until all pertinent facts are either trumped up or suppressed

Now is the time to leave behind the status quo – Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, have been canceled.

Climate change: Something that has occurred naturally over roughly the past 4 1/2 billion years, but which will galvanize and scare my “useful idiots” into giving my political power beyond my wildest dreams even though there is nothing I can do about it.

I am not an ideologue – I can say even the most blatant lie with a straight face.

Climate change (alternative use): A bogus reason to re-distribute wealth.

I’m putting Joe in charge: I don’t want to touch this dead woodchuck with a 10 foot pole. Let Biden take the heat.

Jumping to conclusions

Failing to withhold judgment until the necessary facts are distorted (See “until all the facts are in)

Investment – transfer of wealth that benefits democrats

Teabagger

What the most childish president in American history call real Americans

Anybody can buy a truck = I am an idiot and don’t realize that full size trucks are the best selling vehicles in the USA

The challenges we face can’t be solved by one person alone – I am god and you will obey me.

“in just five days we’ll fundamentally change this country”- get ready to lose all your freedoms, give me all your money, declare me supreme overload, and all be good little communist.

“It’s all right. It’s okay. Where were we?” = actually that’s what it means.

redistribute the wealth-all you hard working people get to pay for my peep’s who won’t work.

The system worked just as it should have = I haven’t figured out who else to blame yet

Serving our community in ways big and small – Eric Holder is working on an actual hit list of conservative Americans

Connecting with other supporters to form strong local groups – I got your brown shirts right here

And here’s what you need to know = Get ready; I’m about to tell a real whopper

Green jobs: Another Federal bureaucracy I get to create and staff with my cronies.

Congressional leadership: Pretty much the same as those flying monkeys in the “Wizard of Oz.” Harry, Nancy, Barney – fly my pretties.

My uncle helped liberate Auschwitz – I have a third grader’s understanding of military affairs

The system worked = I don’t have a clue how to keep these bastards off our planes and keep the people of the USA safe

With all due deference to the separarion of powers

I’m about to display unprecedented contempt for the Supreme Court

“The past 8 years” this timeframe refers to the 8 years prior to the last 13 months….which do not count.
In the future this will mean the
“Time before time” or “Preobamic era”

Corpsman:
one who makes corpse’s

I will end ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ – I know that none of my African-American supporters will hear this.

@ Mark

The system worked

We had the right citizen of the Netherlands at the right place at the right time

“Muslims have contributed so much to America”

For instance, that big crater in Lower Manhattan where the Twin Towers used to be

“Uh…uh…I uh…” = I’m not on the teleprompter.

“Some may say” — A phrase used to introduce a straw man argument. See also: “Now you may hear critics/pundits/bloggers say”

Wee wee’d = people have a valid complaint, but I don’t want you to think they do, so I call it something silly.

Transparency = Total blackout.

Shovel ready – anything I say that is obviously a load of BS; ie, anything I say.

Wall Street-used when I don’t want you to look at how much money I’m spending.

57 states-What would have been laughable stupidity if George Bush had said it.

These healthcare reform hearings will be televised on CSPAN=These backroom deals will not be mentioned in public.

Our priorities have to change = I’m going to keep doing the same things over and over, but YOUR priorities have to change.

Now let me be clear

It’s very important that you believe this next piece of bullsh*t

I reject both these positions

I’m about a nanometer to the right of the far left srawman position

Actually you got one wrong. “As I’ve said before” is what Obama always says just before he changes his position and says something that he’s NEVER said before. I’m not joking, you can watch his speeches. For example this week he’s trying to win back the support of Wall Street, so look for him to say “As I’ve said before, Wall Street firms need to be able to offer reasonably large bonuses in order to secure the best talent”.

“the buck stops here”

means: when I’m through with it, it will no longer be useful

It’s not my intention to = Just try to stop me.

My Christian faith

That thing that I had to pretend to have in order to get elected President