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The National Hammer Association must be held responsible

Home - by - January 18, 2013 - 23:45 America/New_York - 13 Comments

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Run On Guns Has Now Forced Poor Robbers To Stick Up Banks At Hammerpoint

Has the recent run on guns made it difficult for robbers to be properly outfitted for bank heists?

A 61-year-old man is facing a federal felony charge in connection with the hammerpoint stickup Wednesday of an Anchorage, Alaska bank, according to an FBI affidavit.

Investigators allege that Alan Bronson Rice walked into a KeyBank branch and removed a hammer from a small backpack. When Rice placed the tool on the counter at a teller’s window, a KeyBank employee asked “what he was going to do with the hammer.”

After motioning that he would strike teller Houa Vue with the hammer, Rice announced, “I need your money. Give me your 100s and 50s. I’m gonna hit you with this hammer. Hurry up!” Vue handed Rice $1039 and he exited the bank at 2:40 PM.

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» 13 Comments

  1. Bad Brad

    January 18th, 2013

    What kind of hammer? We need to find out if this was an assault hammer.
    http://diydata.com/tool/hammer/hammers.php
    /

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  2. F.D.R. in Hell

    January 19th, 2013

    This should pull SEARS out of the fire. :evil:

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  3. Dick Clark in Hell

    January 19th, 2013

    Thumb up +4

     
  4. Corona

    January 19th, 2013

    “Oh Maxwell, you crazy crazy white boy!”

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  5. Bad Brad

    January 19th, 2013

    MC Hammer gave all of his money away to week sisters. Hit Rock Bottom and became a Minister in an Oakland church. He’s got a heart as big as all outdoors. I love the guy.

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  6. Rick

    January 19th, 2013

    “Give me your 100s and 50s.”

    “Vue handed Rice $1039 …”

    The teller (Vue)obviously wasn’t listening.

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  7. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 19th, 2013

    NY BANS HAMMERS – CUOMO SIGNS BILL

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  8. Tedjusant

    January 19th, 2013

    OBAMA ,
    This is OBAMA’s favorite song of the past ,
    You can all sing along
    IF I HAD AN HAMMER ,
    I’LL HAMMER IN THE MORNING ,
    I’LL HAMMER IN THE EVENING ,
    ALL OVER THIS LAND ,
    I’LL HAMMER OUT GUNS ,
    I’LL HAMMER OUT SPAWNING ,
    I’LL HAMMER OUT THE LOVE BETWEEN ,
    THE REPUBLICANS AND THE DEMOCRATS ,
    I’LL HAMMER OUT A WAR IN ,
    ALL OVER THIS LAND.
    AND IF YOU CAN NOT SING, CHUCK BERRY SAYS
    JUST ( LA LA AND DIPSY ) THE WORDS.

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  9. the aardvark

    January 19th, 2013

    Carpenters and other construction workers better watch out for a ban on hammers. And don’t even get me started on nail guns! Let’s ban everything and go back to living in mud huts. How about banning any thinking or speaking out loud by progtards. Oh darn, the 1st Amendment works for them too!

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  10. Carlos The Jackal

    January 19th, 2013

    At least it wasn’t one of those evil black hammers…

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  11. Nutjob

    January 19th, 2013

    I hope all this nonsense doesn’t come down to them banning my hammer.
    Mine was custom made by a blacksmith at Stanley, aircooled, has a thumbhole in the handle and a scope on it for accuracy, and don’t even get me started on my semi-automatic nailgun.

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  12. Some callo me......Tim

    January 19th, 2013

    Yup, Nail guns are semi-automatic, one nail per each pull of the trigger. Most also hold at least 100 rounds (hear that Peirs?) ALSO nail guns MUST be pressed against the object you wish to drive a nail into, but I’m quite sure a smart machinist could easily defeat that safety measure and make a nail gun fully automatic. As for hammers, they are the equivalent of a single shot weapon.
    My wife used to work at a convenience store in Ohio and did have the “pleasant” experience of being held up one night at gunpoint. Just asked her what she would have thought if the crook had threatened her with a hammer, I guess a hearty laugh answers THAT question, mostly because they DID have a sawed off baseball bat behind the counter. Now I wonder if the ATF plans on doing something about sawed off baseball bats too…

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  13. Dan

    January 24th, 2013

    Like most second ammendment nut balls, this guy is truly a “Bag of Hammers”.

    Look it up in the Urban dictionary, and think about how it relates to someone having a large collection (or even a “bag”) of assault weapons and ammo.

    When the only tool you possess (or even know how to use) is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. And incidently, this does not reflect well on a craftsman in any situation other than “making smaller ones out of bigger ones.”

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