Home - by Cardigan - January 18, 2013 - 13:00 America/New_York - 55 Comments
MICHELLE OBAMA HAS BANGS NOW <— That was the headline at Gawker.
Well clutch the pearls, Sugars! Do y’all love it or what?!
January 18th, 2013
Looks like Nipsey Russell in drag.
Yes I said that
It’s a shame she’s so conservative, and modest.
These days, dog groomers can do so much more.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
She still has the jawbone of an ass.
Hey, I wouldn’t care if she looked like Moms Mabley… NOW… if she had a beautiful mind.
Her hatred has been well documented.
Sasquatch got herself a new wighat! Vanity Fair is saying how wonderful her hair is – so thick and shiny. Umm, sorry to break it to you cupcakes, but this is some Asian lady’s hair, plopped down on the first horse’s head. They are also going on about how pretty she is. I think I just threw up a little…
Well who the hell is she banging? Whoever it is, they gave her Asian hair.
They’re not nearly long enough.
Fo shizzle. She’s so purdy now, her old name don’t suit her.
From this day forth, she should be LaToya Obama.
Speaking of new looks, apparently that nasty bump on the head made Hitlery go from no eyeglasses, to needing Mr Limpit’s goggles. She still knows less than shit about Bengazhi, but she’s large(ass) and in charge in Algeria.
She’s still the ugliest woman in the White House.
Is that Tina Turner ??
Jebus, but you people are never satisfied. Are they or are they not covering up more of her mug?
must have done it to hide the frown lines since botox never took
Also, that pic looks photo-shopped. Look at the space between her right arm and her body. Then look at her butt below the elbow. Looks like a little slimming magic, no? She is one ugly woman.
Trying to look like Kerry Washington the hottie from Scandal. Who her husband was making eyes at! Too bad it didn’t work
Looks like a wig to me. Still doesn’t help her ugly face
And check out the 5:00 shadow.
Ricky Martin was invited to the White House to perform She Bangs – lucky for him he’s already gay.
Absolutely hilarious photo. I can’t decide which is funnier…the new wighat, or the painted on “cleavage”.
@chris, say what? Give your head a good shake.
On her WORST day, Tina looked a million times better.
In the words of the inimitable Lucianne Goldberg, Moose looks like James Brown.
“The First Hatey”
Oh, Cardigan; you are gooooood!
What’s with the cracker do, all straight and such? Aren’t you proud of your black heritage? why not go with your natural afro?
the first wookie has a mans face.
There is not enough Spackle, primer, war paint, glue, wighats, Wonderbras, Spanx, and boob belts in the whole world enough to make this woman even remotely beautiful.
Push, pull, lift, paint, camouflage all she wants…it’s not masking the ugliness that goes right to the core of her being. Every time I see a new image of this woman she looks uglier than the time before. I am repulsed not by the outer trappings of her person, but by the absence of God’s love emanating from her hardened heart.
She is a dangerous woman, not fully unleashed yet.
Grade A, 100% classless whore-makes me sick to even look at her.
I would also go gay if I had to wake up to that every day.
Don’t make her mad, you better eat what she tells you to eat or else she’s gonna take off her weave and fight!
She’s already been filmed in Chitcago doing it.
Oh snap she lost her bangs while swinging.
Wayne Brady in drag is what I have always thought.
@Hawaiian. My first thought was Geraldine Jones,but Nipsey Russell works also.
Whoop de frickin’ doo.
It is much more important for the media to focus on idiocy like this than, say, the firestorm of Islamic terrorism erupting all over Africa…
Stirrin the B.S.
Asian hair, bad teeth….it’s William Hung!
(with all due respect to Chalupa )
That’s James Brown
99th Squad Leader
Come on guys. I got this in the bullpen yesterday!
I love ya, but give credit where credit is due. Ok?
B. Hussein Obama
Y’all scoff – but I still gotta let that huge moose climb up on my back and … uhh, well, straighten out my sigmoid flexure.
They say you can’t put lipstick on a pig …
Well, bangs on a Sasquatch ain’t hittin on much, either.
@Jack Daniels – Very good point, but fashionable black women who wear weaves, like First Mooch, brag about the fortune they spend on their new Asian hair.
BTW – Lots of robberies linked to hair extentions.
It’s a nice cut but she’s still a hater.
Golly G. Willikers
As an old golf buddy of mine used to say when he sank a long putt for double bogey after hacking up a hole, “Whipped cream on dog sh*t.”
I can’t get over the word “Bang” and Mochelle in the same sentence…makes my skin crawl.
They do need to be about 10 inches longer though.
In her natural nappy hair, she has all the sexuality
of a fire hydrant.
The handlers are getting her all slimmed down, carved up, coached up and styled up. It’s like she’s been lobotomized into a smiley, happy clown, compared to her original hideously nasty self. Like watching some 70′s sci-fi movie of how the leaders are just controlled puppets basically.
Can we get a Worf with bangs pbotoshop up in here?
Here is what Michelle looked like in all her original glory just five years ago! Looks like Dr. Moreau has been working overtime…
Looks like a Kmart wig
My dick just retracted the other way so forcefully that it shot right out of my own ass. I’m not a Democrat so I didn’t enjoy it, either.
No wonder these assholes hate guns – they’re worried that if their wives take a walk in the woods they’ll probably get shot by a hunter who thinks they’re bagging the first pants-wearing moose.
They are trying to make the fugliest beard in history look human. It ain’t working.
Stranded in Sonoma
Remember what IronyCurtain said in an earlier thread: When the press says how beautiful Michelle Obama is, they forget that we can see her too.
I truly believe that everyone in the White House (The Land of Nod) walks around saying how lovey Mooshell looks, but when they can’t stand telling the lie anymore, they run into a bathroom and laugh uncontrollably until they vomit.
Maybe they just secretly do the “Roker White House Pants Poop”. – Irony
@Meshuggahboy, damn! Nearly choked on my beer!
Better put some ice on that.
By the way, when I saw the pic… “like a frightened turtle”, if ya know what I’m sayin’.
First thing that came to my mind when I saw that picture:
No, actually, I think she had a starring role in the opening sequence of ’2001: A Space Odyssey”. She was the one that grabbed the bone and beat the sh*t out of the other tribe in the “battle of the waterhole”.
(And I think we need to touch a Monolith about now to help us evolve beyond the commie douchebags trying to ruin our great nation.)
Carlos The Jackal
Jeez, I thought Flip Wilson was dead!
“Da Debbel made me buy dis dress!”
Her hairline is destroyed from too much processing, so they plopped some fresh, thick, healthy roadkill on it.
Andrea Shea King
January 19th, 2013
Kee-ryst she is ugly.
@CrustyB, OMG! It is the same hairdo!! If I had photoshop, I’d have to do one w/ Shelly and Helena in that role!
January 20th, 2013
Styling mousse usually comes in a can. This styling moose just buys a wig.
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