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Home - by - January 15, 2013 - 23:59 America/New_York - 50 Comments

» 50 Comments

  1. Bad Brad

    January 16th, 2013

    Uhhhuuh, yukyukyuk, ever see thumbs before that are this fucked up.

    Thumb up +1

     
  2. Diogenes

    January 16th, 2013

    The secret service guys super-glued my fingers together so I would hurt myself…

    Thumb up +9

     
  3. Will Profit

    January 16th, 2013

    Thumbs: They’re what separates us from the apes. Well, most of us.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  4. Eleanor in Hell

    January 16th, 2013

    “Open the door and…all the people!”

    Thumb up +8

     
  5. Jerry Manderin

    January 16th, 2013

    Errrrrrrr…how do I get out of this?

    Thumb up +7

     
  6. F.D.R. in Hell

    January 16th, 2013

    Eleanor, it goes like this…

    Thumb up +5

     
  7. Moxie Man

    January 16th, 2013

    I STILL can’t get this right … “Here’s the church, here’s the steeple, open the doors, where are all the fucking people?”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  8. Moxie Man

    January 16th, 2013

    @Eleanor – beat me :)

    Thumb up +2

     
  9. Eleanor in Hell

    January 16th, 2013

    Ooooooo, Franklin.

    If Lucifer finds out you’ve been promoting goodness, you’re going to burn in Hel…
    oh, wait.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  10. Menderman

    January 16th, 2013

    That’s his gun control plan. Super glue the trigger fingers together and everybody lives happily ever after, and the Mooch endorseded it to fight obeisity!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     
  11. Blinddog

    January 16th, 2013

    Is that a loogie hanging from his incisor or is Joe Blow growing fangs?

    Thumb up 0

     
  12. Menderman

    January 16th, 2013

    Joe?

    I thought that was Ted Knight!

    Thumb up +2

     
  13. Eleanor in Hell

    January 16th, 2013

    @ Moxie Man — If “all the people” was the first thing you thought of, you were obviously raised right.
    ;-)

    Thumb up +6

     
  14. KF

    January 16th, 2013

    Gimme another round barkeep, it’s not as if I got an important job to do like some rocket surgeon *hic*

    Thumb up +1

     
  15. Debbie

    January 16th, 2013

    Holy crap! BLEEDER!!

    Thumb up +1

     
  16. White House landlord

    January 16th, 2013

    Uh, er, the internet is either this way, or this way!

    Thumb up 0

     
  17. Immortal Fish

    January 16th, 2013

    That’s a bunch of malarky. Looks like I got all your people right here, pal.

    Thumb up 0

     
  18. Browns44

    January 16th, 2013

    So then I said, “Mr President, I think if you let me, I can get the gerbil out for you.”

    Thumb up +2

     
  19. Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk

    January 16th, 2013

    Look, my finger pistols only have three bullets each, and meet our new federal gun control mandates banning high capacity finger guns.

    Thumb up +5

     
  20. obfusecatenot

    January 16th, 2013

    1, 2, 3…No matter how many times i do it, the left comes out on top- see how to be superior….ride the train you’ll learn how.

    Thumb up 0

     
  21. serfer62

    January 16th, 2013

    Now this is the real gun control grip

    Thumb up 0

     
  22. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    Can someone help me out here, I kind of got into another jam playing tiddliewinks, this shit is complicated.

    Thumb up +4

     
  23. Merry Poppet

    January 16th, 2013

    Here is the church
    Here is the steeple
    It’s a gun-free zone
    Crooks can shoot all the people

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  24. LyleLovett666

    January 16th, 2013

    How do I get out of these chinaman handcuffs?

    Thumb up +1

     
  25. Snowball the Sourpuss

    January 16th, 2013

    Joe gets asked a math question:

    “What’s 6 times 3 trillion? Well, let’s see…..ummm, uh, let’s see….um, how many zeros?…uh, okay, uh….six times three, um, let’s see, uh carry the 2, no wait, uhhhh….dang I need MORE fingahs!!”

    Thumb up +3

     
  26. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    See, this is why we need to ban trigger fingers.
    If you ban trigger fingers or demand they be locked up like this, all it leaves is your thumbs.

    Other then then sticking your thumb up your ass what harm can they do?

    Thumb up +2

     
  27. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    See, this is why apes don’t shoot each other with automatic weapons because they don’t have an apposable thumb.

    We’d eliminate the apposable thumb, but that wouldn’t be fair to EBT card holders who use taxpayer funded phones or to the felons who use illegal guns to murder.

    Thumb up +2

     
  28. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    See this is why we need to sanction thumbwrestling as an olympic sport.
    If the trigger finger is wrapped up, it’ll eliminate lowlife dirtbag felons from murdering.

    Thumb up 0

     
  29. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    So when the guy pulled a gun on me, I challenged him to a thumbwrestling match and no one died.

    Thumb up +1

     
  30. Nutjob

    January 16th, 2013

    So if we intregrate stupidity with utter nonsense like this, there’s no need for a 2nd amendment, because anything above 2 is confusing to a demoncrat anyways!

    Thumb up +2

     
  31. Glen

    January 16th, 2013

    Ha Ha, Hey O, we fooled them again with our lies.

    Thumb up +1

     
  32. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    January 16th, 2013

    Look! 2 alligators making out.

    Thumb up +3

     
  33. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    January 16th, 2013

    I went Noodlin’ and caught myself.

    Thumb up +7

     
  34. Unruly Refugee

    January 16th, 2013

    Had to superglue his hands because he kept forgetting how to do Church, Steeple, People

    Now he’s trying to remember the number to call for 9-1-1

    Thumb up +3

     
  35. todak

    January 16th, 2013

    Doi! Of course I’m qualified! I can tie my shoes and wave bye-bye!…No that’s not right. I can wave my shoes and.. nope not that either. Oh wait a minnit, I got it, now! I can wave my tie…Aw dammit! Which one of you smartasses made me tie my fingers while I was waving bye-bye? Y’ALL SUCK!

    Thumb up +2

     
  36. Big_Dictator

    January 16th, 2013

    My mom says I ride the short bus cuz I’m special

    Thumb up +3

     
  37. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 16th, 2013

    “… open the doors and screw all the people.”

    Thumb up +2

     
  38. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 16th, 2013

    @ FDR – Nice cleavage for a good, Christian girl.

    Thumb up +2

     
  39. thirdtwin

    January 16th, 2013

    “Check it out, y’all…I’m Alan Grayson!”

    Thumb up +1

     
  40. demonrat dave

    January 16th, 2013

    The best thing we can do to stop gun violence is to start young. My idea is to glue evey kids hands together like this so that no kid can make a finger gun and go BANG! BANG!
    I can’t wait to tell the boss about this- I hope he gives me a cookie!

    Thumb up +1

     
  41. Salve

    January 16th, 2013

    Greetings!

    My caption: “I’ve got eleven fingers. Ten, nine, eight seven six, … one, two, three, four, five. See! Six and five are eleven! Or, is it five and six are eleven?”

    Salve

    Thumb up +1

     
  42. BILL

    January 16th, 2013

    “it took me and the focus groups all week and this is the best gun control proposals we could come up with”

    Thumb up +1

     
  43. FlyoverPilgrim

    January 16th, 2013

    I’m not really Vice Presidential material, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night…

    Thumb up +2

     
  44. PAvolley

    January 16th, 2013

    “This is my new gun invention. For every bullet you shoot, you take a shot back. That way everybody’s equal.”

    Thumb up +1

     
  45. One Notch Above a Congresscritter

    January 16th, 2013

    “I thought that was Ted Knight!”

    No difference.

    Thumb up +1

     
  46. Tim

    January 16th, 2013

    “Guys! Guys! Help me out, I’ve done it again!”

    Thumb up 0

     
  47. Assault-laws must be banned

    January 16th, 2013

    I’d like to congratulate myself with a hard hand shake …

    Thumb up +3

     
  48. Mz BallBreaker

    January 16th, 2013

    BiteMe’s dentures must have cracked from too much suckin azzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…..got the brownie stains to prove it. Plugs is a imp whose 2nd to the throne of obamablowme….country is going down and O is pulling the chain…

    Thumb up 0

     
  49. 99th Squad Leader

    January 16th, 2013

    Hey buddy, I’ve been sittin’ like this for 2 days now – let me tell ya, it takes fortitude.

    Thumb up 0

     
  50. 99th Squad Leader

    January 16th, 2013

    Pssst! Anybody know a good locksmith.

    Thumb up 0