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For Sale – Assault Rock

Home - by - January 10, 2013 - 15:16 America/New_York - 21 Comments

via Old Oaks  Ebayassaultrock

» 21 Comments

  1. Tree Limb

    January 10th, 2013

    A tree limb will also kill. Don’t forget a pointy stick.

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  2. eternal cracker p

    January 10th, 2013

    Proof positive the founding fathers knew about them.

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  3. xiphos

    January 10th, 2013

    What the? Someone’s pet rock go rogue?

    Thumb up +8

     

  4. Doc

    January 10th, 2013

    That also looks like Biden’s brain.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     

  5. Left Coast Dan

    January 10th, 2013

    I heard there’s a run on these. Better stock up while you still can.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     

  6. hanoverfist

    January 10th, 2013

    Put it in a sack and make it semi automatic.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     

  7. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 10th, 2013

    I saw 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY in theater last week. It represented the first assault weapon to be a fleshless human femur picked up out of a pile of dry tapir bones.

    Of course, Kubrick was a Hollywood leftie not given to the fact of a hard rock.

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  8. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    January 10th, 2013

    Bwaahahahaha!!!
    Hmmm… I’m gonna get some sticks,sharpen them and put those of ebay too. The trees are just full of sticks, here.
    Damn, mother nature be a weapons dealer!

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  9. old_oaks

    January 10th, 2013

    Q: Is this the same style assault rock that I see the Palestinians use on TV or a different model?

    A: Those are mostly sandstone. This AR15 is metamorphic and thus much denser. Think 45-70 vs. 22LR.

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  10. F.D.R. in Hell

    January 10th, 2013

    Eleanor tried to knock my skull off with her left femur after she caught me flirting with Amelia Earhart.

    I say, she tried, but didn’t have a leg to stand on.

    :evil:

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     

  11. The Doktor

    January 10th, 2013

    Apparently, eBay’s sense of humor is not the Assault Style:

    Item 190781941697 is no longer available.
    50 items found similar to ‘Assault Weapon Cavemans AR15 Assault Rock’

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  12. Jimmy

    January 10th, 2013

    It looks “cutting edge.”

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  13. Tim

    January 10th, 2013

    We scoff, but at least one thrown stone has changed the course of History.

    At the Battle of Plataea (479 BC), the Persians were getting the better of the Greeks, so a Greek, in a fit of rage and frustration picked up a stone and flung it.

    That stone struck Mardonius, kinsman of the Emperor and leading General of the Persians, killing him.

    The Persians broke and ran. The rest, as they say, is history.

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  14. CrustyB

    January 10th, 2013

    When our Founding Fathers wrote the 2nd Amendment they were thinking about individual molecules, not complex constructs like rocks.

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  15. Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk

    January 10th, 2013

    What kind of magazine comes with this assault rock? I need something with a capacity of about 30 pebbles.

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  16. Left Coast Dan

    January 10th, 2013

    There is a new model available here: http://www.ebay.com/itm/CAVEMAN-AR-Assault-Rock-Tactical-Model-/261153633948?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_0&hash=item3ccdf8369c

    And at $8.50 right now it’s a steal!

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  17. ericthetuba

    January 10th, 2013

    Be sure to check out the questions from potential buyers at the ebay site for this. Pretty funny stuff.

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  18. not the droid you seek

    January 10th, 2013

    Optional accessories include slingshot, and felled opponent’s sword. (1 Samuel 17.)

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  19. the aardvark

    January 10th, 2013

    Didn’t we just learn after the late Charles Durning died that he killed a Nazi with a rock in World War 2 after he had been stabbed by the Nazi. Ban rocks now and everything else for that matter, knives, forks, spoons,tree limbs, hands etc. and people just to make it safe for all of God’s other creatures who will soon devour one another till nothing is left. This is the lefties wet dream!

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  20. Piker

    January 11th, 2013

    Head’s up some copy cat asshole has a siliar item for sale on Ebay only his listing doesn’t say anything about donating to charity.
    http://www.ebay.com/itm/Assault-Weapon-Cavemans-AR15-Assault-Rock-/160953713972?pt=LH_DefaultDomain_2&hash=item257996c534

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  21. BC

    January 11th, 2013

    I bet the rock is smarter than Obuma.

    Thumb up +2