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My Conversation With a Douchenozzle

Home - by - January 10, 2013 - 04:53 America/New_York - 39 Comments

douche

» 39 Comments

  1. BILL

    January 10th, 2013

    how come all these aholes want to force their beliefs on you but have a hissy fit if you even mention your belief in god in any public place?

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  2. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 10th, 2013

    Beware if you run into this guy in a back alley. He’ll be selling BJ’s for 50¢.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +21

     
  3. RosalindJ

    January 10th, 2013

    That’s the exact same argument I use. They run off to find something else to parrot in place of cogent discussion. Funny – they don’t make it back, except to lurch onto some other dancing-angel pinpoint. They don’t change until they have a come-to-Jesus encounter.

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  4. Dr. Tar

    January 10th, 2013

    @BFH thanks for getting the morning off to a good snort and chorckle at the stupidity of the low thought process voters on the left. I envy you sometimes the pleasure of laying into these idiots.

    You’re keeping Breitbart’s spirit alive and well in these dark times of liberal thought suppression.

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  5. Pete Parks (DE)

    January 10th, 2013

    This argument that the Founding Fathers had no that weapons would end up like they are today is stupid bull shit. The FF’s were visionaries and KNEW that firearms would be improved.

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  6. GenghisJohn

    January 10th, 2013

    BFH, That is the greatest response to this stupidity EVER. We should all commit it to memory.

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  7. screenplay

    January 10th, 2013

    It is true that the revolutionary war was fought largely with muskets. Muskets were standard issue for Both the Red Coats and Continental army. However, many of the Citizen soldiers of the American Militia were equipped with what would be considered the assault weapon of there time, the Kentucky long rifle. These average citizens carried a weapon they purchased with their own money and that had far more killing power than a conscript of either army.
    The same is true for the Henry repeating rifle that appeared during the American Civil War.

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  8. Diann

    January 10th, 2013

    Oh, dear. Don’t use logic. It only confuses them and increases their sense of frustration.

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  9. pink Floyd

    January 10th, 2013

    @Diann, Confusion and frustration sometimes leads to suicide….just sayin’

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     
  10. CrustyB

    January 10th, 2013

    I wouldn’t call him a douchenozzle. Unlike him, a douchenozzle has actually been inside a vagina.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +42

     
  11. Mr.Gates

    January 10th, 2013

    Actually, the founders were just imagining what might be done with electricity. They had an idea it existed, but they didn’t have that either. Nor telegraph; radio; steam engine… they were just lucky to have fire and iron tools.

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  12. Mr.Gates

    January 10th, 2013

    @CrustyB – so enema nozzle would be more accurate?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +23

     
  13. Beckwith

    January 10th, 2013

    Actually, the average American farmer had the British Regular soldier outgunned.

    The American, relying on his weapon as a means of providing food for his family used a rifle — a very accurate firearmm.

    The Brtish soldier, on the other hand was equiped with a musket — a very inaccurate firearm.

    It was the organization, training and experience that gave the Regular his advantage.

    A modern Minuteman would be equipped with an AR-15 and a thousand rounds of ammunition.

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  14. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    January 10th, 2013

    A douche nozzle is a USEFUL tool.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  15. Shiite from Shinola

    January 10th, 2013

    LOfuckingL!!! That is Great!!!

    Thumb up +5

     
  16. Jerry Manderin

    January 10th, 2013

    BWAHAHAHAHA!!!

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  17. gummint cheese

    January 10th, 2013

    if I hadn’t seen the picture of that basement-dwelling loser I would have assumed that statement to be from an airheaded Valley Girl with calloused knees and stretch-marked lips. You know the kind; they have chipped teeth from their plastic vibrators

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  18. gummint cheese

    January 10th, 2013

    BTW – for those few of us here that are gun-illiterate, a musket is a smooth-bore gun, much like the smooth insides of a shotgun barrel.

    A rifle is a gun that has rifling, twisted grooves, along the length of the barrel. When fired, the gunpowder makes the base of the bullet expand slightly, engaging the rifling. The rifling puts a spin on the bullet which makes it much more accurate and longer-ranged than a musket. Think of an NFL quaterback putting spin on a football to make it spiral when he passes it to a receiver.

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  19. Edith McCrotch

    January 10th, 2013

    …and then give that parchment to somebody on horseback who may be going by the nearest town near me and you might get a response from me in say 6 or 7 months.

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  20. Tim

    January 10th, 2013

    It’s not nice to make fun of retards …

    Oh, Hell … yes it is! Keep up the good work.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     
  21. B. Hussein Obama

    January 10th, 2013

    He has a close resemblance to that guy who hides in stall 3 at Man’s Country …

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  22. Jimmy

    January 10th, 2013

    But he’d have to pull the turkey feather out of his ass first. Too hard.

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  23. Team America

    January 10th, 2013

    Duh! is as Duh! does.

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  24. CrustyB

    January 10th, 2013

    DB says this as if the Founding Fathers were unaware that weapon technology improves over time. They knew that the bow and arrow was replaced by the crossbow, the crossbow by the musket, etc. I’ve never read a statement by a Founding Father that said “Muskets are the ultimate weapon of all time and there will never be anything more powerful! Ever!”

    The mental contortions that liberals go through to justify the state negating the liberty of the individual are amazing.

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  25. norman einstein

    January 10th, 2013

    Why do so many of these cretins looks like ‘extras’ from “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”?

    I see he’s mastered the smooth speaking style of Valley Girls (um, like, um, like) as Cheesehead noted, which makes his “argument” just that much more, um like, convincing.

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  26. AnusPresley

    January 10th, 2013

    He looks like the tweaker cop from “The Killing”

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  27. LyleLovett666

    January 10th, 2013

    This argument is soon to come.The left will employ this idea to stifle free speech that they deem “hate speech”,which is any thing they don’t like.The bill of rights is under attack and free speech is next.

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  28. gummint cheese

    January 10th, 2013

    Norman – “Cheesehead”? WTF? Even though I had to wear a paper grocery sack over my head this year I am still a Saints fan.

    Geaux Saints!

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  29. norman einstein

    January 10th, 2013

    @gummint cheese, mea culpa.
    That was very insensitive of me.

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  30. gummint cheese

    January 10th, 2013

    Norman – You’ve always been a class act here on IOTW. Apology accepted.

    With a hat like that you gotta be from Texas. I live “next door”. If Gov Perry and the legislature get fed up with Washington enough that they invoke the Texas Constitution’s right to secede, you can bet your ass that I’m moving there and bringing my Bible, all my guns and all my fishing poles – all of which I bitterly cling to.

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  31. sablegsd

    January 10th, 2013

    “Beware if you run into this guy in a back alley. He’ll be selling BJ’s for 50¢.”

    Nah, he will be paying you to let him hum on yours.

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  32. Nash Montana

    January 10th, 2013

    “I wouldn’t call him a douchenozzle. Unlike him, a douchenozzle has actually been inside a vagina.”

    Not any self respecting Vagina, would not. lol

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  33. sig94

    January 10th, 2013

    The notion that only the military should have modern weapons is a farce.

    Until the passage of the National Firearms Act of 1934, any civilian with $200 to burn could purchase a Thompson submachine gun. Ret. US Army Gen. John Thompson, who patented this weapon, was so desperate for cash that he would sell them everywhere he could. There were even drugstores that sold them.

    And during Prohibition, the 2A adherents had it right: if submachine guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have submachine guns.

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  34. sig94

    January 10th, 2013

    Can you tell I want a machine gun? The ATF license costs only $200 but the machine gun alone can run into tens of thousands. A 1921 Thompson in excellent condition can go as high as $90,000. And blowing through all that ammo on full auto…

    The following states do not allow fully automatic weapons of any kind:
    California
    Delaware
    Hawaii
    Illinois
    Iowa
    Kansas
    New York
    Rhode Island
    Washington

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  35. Rick

    January 10th, 2013

    sig94, yeah, and the NFA of 1934 was passed as a reaction to the Saint Valentine’s Day massacre, which happened in… 1929. Seems some bad boys were arguing over territorial rights to sell booze because of Prohibition, which ended in… 1932.
    Then again, Executive Order 6102, which meant that free and sovereign American citizens couldn’t own gold coins, was signed in 1933, so you see why machine guns, sawed-off shotguns and silencers had to go away.

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  36. Dagney

    January 10th, 2013

    Indeed Rick.

    And I’d like to bet that GOLD REGISTRATION will be coming soon!

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  37. Name Redacted™

    January 11th, 2013

    I saw this posted on Facebook by Kevin Jackson of the BlackSphere. I like knowing I’ve got family everywhere I go. :-)

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  38. sig94

    January 11th, 2013

    @Dagney – The State of Illinois might already be cooking that gold recipe. Legislation has been introduced to register all owners of gold.

    http://www.ilga.gov/legislation/BillStatus.asp?DocNum=3341&GAID=11&DocTypeID=SB&LegId=64562&SessionID=84&GA=97

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  39. Dan Ryan Galt

    January 12th, 2013

    “A douche nozzle is a USEFUL tool.”

    TOOL yes Boobie. Useful? No.

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