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Cops Arrest Portland Man For Strangling Girlfriend With His Dreadlocks

Home - by - January 9, 2013 - 11:00 America/New_York - 18 Comments

TSG

Meet Caleb Grotberg.

The Portland, Oregon man is facing an array of criminal charges after he allegedly assaulted his girlfriend early yesterday and “choked her with his dread-locked hair,” according to police.

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» 18 Comments

  1. Tabby

    January 9th, 2013

    Don’t tell me let me guess.. He was active in OWS! ;-)

    Thumb up +6

     
  2. Anonymous

    January 9th, 2013

    Where’s DREADLOCK CONTROL, INC.?!?! Only the police & military need dreadlocks!!! Why haven’t we banned HIGH CAPACITY HAIR yet?!?! We need to BAN WIGS, EXTENSIONS, HAIR DRYERS, COMBS, MOUSSE, HAIR SPRAY, & AFRO PICKS NOW!!! We need to profile FLOYD THE BARBER on America’s Most Wanted!!!

    $10 sez, this POS gets off on some HAIR-brained defense, out there in the land of Fruits & Nuts: Northwest Territory… :roll:

    Thumb up +9

     
  3. Bob M.

    January 9th, 2013

    Awww crap – I forgot to sign in – the above was MY rant. :oops:

    Thumb up +3

     
  4. Maudie N Mandeville

    January 9th, 2013

    He’s now a shoe-in on a Democrat ticket.

    Thumb up +4

     
  5. hanoverfist

    January 9th, 2013

    Anybody else see the swastika on ‘ol Charile here?

    Thumb up +6

     
  6. Czar of Defenestration

    January 9th, 2013

    Gnarly, dude.
    The hair, I mean.

    Thumb up +3

     
  7. Metprof

    January 9th, 2013

    Portlandia, episode 17.

    Thumb up +4

     
  8. judgeroybean

    January 9th, 2013

    Hard to get all weepy eyed over an air headed loser who’d have anything to do with this POS.

    Thumb up +6

     
  9. Brooke

    January 9th, 2013

    Nasty. How did someone that obviously hasn’t showered in a coon’s age get a girlfriend, anyway?

    Thumb up +8

     
  10. CrustyB

    January 9th, 2013

    His girlfriend didn’t recycle her tampons or something?

    Thumb up +7

     
  11. Stirrin the B.S.

    January 9th, 2013

    She must have been bogarting the joint.

    He first tried to give her 40 lashes with his dreads, but that didn’t work, so he resorted to more drastic measures.

    His punishment should be to donate his hair to dread-locks of love.

    Thumb up +4

     
  12. Jerry Manderin

    January 9th, 2013

    At least she died smelling like patchouli oil.

    BAN DREADLOCKS!

    Thumb up +4

     
  13. Claudia

    January 9th, 2013

    She should be glad he didn’t whip out his dingdong and beat her with it.

    http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=158155 .

    Thumb up +3

     
  14. Stranded in Sonoma

    January 9th, 2013

    If we can prove the murderer played some kind of organized sports, maybe Bob Costas can give us his thoughtful insight into this case.

    Thumb up +5

     
  15. MemphisRebel

    January 9th, 2013

    I bet he could strangle you with his personal aroma.

    Thumb up +4

     
  16. Edmund

    January 9th, 2013

    wasn’t this just on an episode of Portlandia?

    Thumb up +1

     
  17. Tim

    January 9th, 2013

    When dreadlocks are outlawed only scumbags will have dreadlocks … uhhhhh, wait a sec …

    Thumb up +3

     
  18. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    January 9th, 2013

    I always wonder what the dreadlock wearers like this guy are trying to express? They’re not haitian or jamaican, so what’s the deal? I understand why the homeless guys with the mental/chemical dependency problems do it (because they don’t have regular access to hygiene products) but what’s this guy’s issue?

    Thumb up +2