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Home - by - January 3, 2013 - 16:45 America/New_York - 9 Comments



What? Don’t imams have clocks in Islam? Don’t imams wear watches? Doesn’t anybody over there have an hour glass or something? Maybe a sun dial, you miserable savages? What is it with those fuzzy little varmints over there in Allah land? Every day AWD hears from some bass-ackward Muslim leader flapping his pie-hole about the “ushering in of the 12th Imam” and how he will destroy America and Israel, the Great and Little Satans! Well, I wish the 12th Imam would hurry up and usher his slow ass into action…I’m getting sick and tired of waiting around! Let’s go, 12th Imam…meter’s running, ya ig’nant bastid!

Today, another savage little fuzzball Muslim leader in robes said Joooos will be exterminated when the 12th Imam returns. Yeah, yeah, yeah, tell somebody that believes in your stupid hocus pocus, Hadji! Last week, it was Syria that was going to spur the return. Before that, it was some other middle east hellhole that was going to spur the return of the 12th Imam! Before that, it was Muslim womerns wearing western clothing that was going to spur the return!

Know what I think? I think this 12th Imam cat is lost! He’s as lost as a woman trying to remember where she parked her car at the mall. Or maybe he’s on a two-month drunk or something! Hell, he could be following the NASCAR circuit and got drunk as a whale poot in Talledega for all we know. Or maybe he thinks he’s the 13th Imam and is also waiting for the return of the 12th Imam. Maybe this “spurring in” of the 12th Imam is exactly what needs to happen….like sticking a spur in his butt to get his lazy ass out of bed and return, for heaven’s sake!

You know, Muslims don’t appear to be very bright. You can’t be bright and believe all the sh*t they believe. Let’s face it, anyone who can be made to believe that by blowing themselves up and killing innocent people will win them 72 virgins in heaven isn’t going to cure cancer anytime soon. Also, I mean, let’s face it…does anyone really want 72 virgins anyway? Maybe a few would do to spice things up but, for the Big Sexy, I like my womerns a tad on the trashy side, baybah. So I have a great idea to calm things down in the wacky world of Islam! All we have to do is slip in a fake 12th Imam…it’s not like they have a picture of him….to get those terrorizing sumbitches to settle down over there. Or get those camel-humping cavedwellers laid. With a woman. For once.




  1. Zeke

    January 3rd, 2013

    Ah yes, I wondered what happened to the guy in the picture. He is none other than the Iron Sheik from the good old wrestling days.

    Thumb up +4

  2. sig94

    January 3rd, 2013

    The 12th Imam is like the movie, “The Ring.” He’s sitting at the bottom of a well in AbuDoucebag or some other hell hole braiding the butthole of his favorite goat.

    “Within the Shiite, (which is predominate in Iran), it is prophesied that there is a coming 12th Imam who is the great spiritual savior. This Imam is named Abu al-Qasim Muhammad or also called Muhammad al Mahdi. He is said to have been born the son of the 11th Imam, Hasan Al-Askari and his wife, the granddaughter of an Emperor. There are conflicting statements of her name being either Fatima or Nargis Khatoon.

    Most accounts of the story say that al Mahdi went into hiding as a child around the age of 5 years (about 13th Century). It said he has been ‘in hiding’ in caves ever since but will supernaturally return just before the Day of Judgment. According to the Hadith the criteria for the Hidden Imam are:

    He will be a descendant of Muhammad and the son of Fatima,
    Will have a broad forehead and pointed nose,
    Will return just before the end of the world,
    His appearance will be preceded by a number of prophetic events during 3 years of horrendous world chaos, tyranny and oppression,
    Will escape from Madina to Mekkah, thousands will pledge allegiance to him,
    Will rule over the Arabs and the world for 7 years,
    Will eradicate all tyranny and oppression bringing harmony and total peace,
    Will lead a prayer in Mekkah which Jesus will be at his side…”

    And will form a perfect bust of President Ahmadinejad using only Semtex and his ass.

    Thumb up +2

  3. Poonces

    January 3rd, 2013

    Broad forehead and pointed nose?

    Won’t any jackal do?

    Thumb up +1

  4. AbigailAdams

    January 3rd, 2013

    AWD — Great article! Do you ever worry about a fatwah?

    Thumb up +2

  5. the aardvark

    January 3rd, 2013

    So if the 12th Imam does’nt show up soon, is there a 13th and a 14th Imam etc. This is about as absurd as waiting for Godot, ain’t gonna happen.

    Thumb up +1

  6. Angry White Dude

    January 3rd, 2013

    Abigail, AWD’s mama does! lol


    Thumb up +3

  7. golfmax13

    January 3rd, 2013

    Lordy. I want some of what you’re taking. Another classic.

    Thumb up +1

  8. Hanoverfist

    January 3rd, 2013

    Mooschelle has an @$$ full of Imams after Taco Night.

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  9. Bad Brad

    January 3rd, 2013

    AWD, Ya still have that Wilson Combat and know how to use it, mama’s got nothing to worry about.

    On another note, this is driving me nuts. Whats the name of the wwf wrestler you used for the picture? The guy was awesome. I believe back in the day of the British Bull Dogs.

    Thumb up 0