iOwnTheWorld.com

ET phone home… Ouch….

+5

Damn, it’s my week end for pissen evrey one off. LOL. Hey, great minds think a like. Of course, I was talking about the Hindu Red Dot.

+5

“No doubt about it–I gotta get another head.”

(h/t, Bullwinkle)

+5

WHADDAYA THINK? Unemployment don”t affect me?

+3

Yeah, Joe tried to point to his third-eye spot for a red-bindi. And missed.

+3

“…and then the wizard said ‘Joe, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?’”

+4

Here! Right Here ! Put me out of my misery !

+5

“This teflon plate holds my plugs in much better than the damn metal one ever did…plus I can now use a microwave to make my popcorn!”

+6

I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!

+7

“I could’ve been Senator Biden or Vice President Biden…oh wait…lemme start over.”

+7

Why in the world did you put one of the hair plugs there – right in the middle of my forehead?!!!

+5

@Digenes – totally o/t, but your avatar looks a little like Stymie’s babysitter – who hasn’t been around here, in forever. Coincidence or connection?

+3

“Yeah, it was right here that my last original thought died of lonlieness. Thanks for reminding me about that…ya little bastard.”

+7

“Don’t tell me! Botox covers up my lobotomy scar – there’s no way you can see it!”

+4

Cue up Stephen Hawkings’ voice talking about empty space.

+4

Not a Whifflehead! See man, solid as a rock!

+8

“It puts the lotion here.”

+8

Joe’s version of the one-finger salute.

+1

“It’s a big fucking deal this brain of mine…and don’t you forget it. Fast and Furious, Benghazi, internets, Sandy Hook….all mine baby all mine…”

+8

“Any of you dykes wanna put your finger in this hole?”

+7

SS guy on left: “What have we done?!?…”

SS guy on right: “Stay calm – he thinks it makes him look smart.”

SlowJoe: “I’m a big fucking deal man…. look at my fucking brain!”

+8

“Lemme tell ya honey,that Morsi is devout! He’s got a zabibi like a cantaloupe up here. You don’t know what a zabibi is? Well, I do.”

+7

“Barack super glued my finger to my f****** forehead…again.”

+7

“Slugs and snails are after me, DDT keeps me happy, now I guess I’ll have to tell’um that I’ve got no cerebellum. Gonna get my PhD, I’m VP lobotomy!”

+5

“Can’t fool ole Joe with that gotcher nose trick – I see whatcha did….my nose is right here!”

+5

I’m Superfly! Oh my achin’ head!

+1

Do you think it is weird that my third testicle is bigger than the other two?

+4

“What the hell do you think THIS is?”

“Don’t answer that!!!”

+3

You see this? This is the location of the most powerful “Black Hole” in the universe known to man, or anyone else!

+5

It’s empty, got it?

I play second fiddle to Oblowe for God sake!

+2

This brain are smart. Just ask me how smart I are!

+6

“See dees plugs? Yous taxpayers paid for dees plugs!”

+6

“This is where I’m having a third eye put.”

+4

Do you really want to know where this things been?

+5

Purple Zebras man, Think about it.

+8

In the immortal words of E.T. …..”OUCH”

+1

See Kids..this is where Brain Farts are mass produced.

+9

Read my lips! -what a dumbass!-

+1

BANG

+4

This is where my one brain cell is…

+5

We all know there is nothing in here

+3

Right — here.

+3

“You have no idea what life is like living with squirrels in the attic!”

+3

Ready… Aim….

+4

“That’s a load of malarky. When the strip is green, it’s sealed!”

+2

“It’s all in here baby. All of it…..”

“…now what am I supposed to have in here?”

+3

“I’ve got twice the brain power you do, you pea-brain!”

+6

The voices. They come from here.

+3

I keep all of that gun control data right here in my ass.

+3

OOps that was me, forgot I cleared my cookies:(

I keep all of that gun control data right here in my ass.

+1

Push the button, the mouth opens.

+3

“I’m with stupid!”

+8

Just as I thought! I’m a quart low.

+6

Whaaat? This stops the echo’s between my ears!

+4

This elevator goes allll the way to the top, baby! And don’t you forget it!

+6

I know where I parked my head! It’s riiiiight here!!

+4

There are only 10 floors in the building.

We’re going to 11.

ht/ sourpuss LOL.

+4

Trying to blow out my pilot light? It can’t be done, no! Better men than you have tried!!

+4

See? Right HERE! That’s where the cheese slid off!!

(Thanks eternal crackah)

+5

Mom told me there’s meatloaf up there, whadda ya say we have some of Joe’s meatloaf right now?

+1

I got shot in Korea right there, or was it Nam? No wait it was Cheney

+5

The holes are too far apart for my fingers or I would show you what I can do with a bowling ball.

+4

Hear that sound when I tap it?

+9

“Why does everyone keep asking me if my head’s up my ass? See, here it is, right here!”

+3

My boss poked me right here and said …..?
(go with it IOW’s)

+2

Ya see, it hurts to think! You’d know that if you ever thunk like me!!

+4

See this, points to bad hair plugs. This is why I need a raise and you need to pay more taxes!!!!

+3

Just last month I had a Pentium II processor installed right in here, and a whopping 64 kilobytes of RAM. I have a bigger phonographic memory than any of you people here. That’s why they made me the mayor of France and you all are just pee-ons.
And, yes, I’ll have fries with that….

+3

My pet squirrel Frankie travels with me where ever I go; He’s got a nice little home right here. Shove a peanut in my ear and watch him grab it.

+3

ASSHOLE !!!!!!!

+3

“Drop it, or I swear I’ll blow this nigger’s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN! [pickaninny voice] Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he’s desp’at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy… do what he saaaayyyy”

+5

This neuron right here works just like new.

+4

Brain Power Swede; Brain Power! I’ve got it and I’ll use it

+2

“Really? Look me in the EYES and say that!”

+3

“I swear to you, they went in right here and took most of it out!”

+3

“If I only had a brain….”

+2

“Stones, I tell ya’…I got stones…see?”

What a cough syrup breathalizer looks like!
“Ummm, wha…….huh…uh, no occifer, I haves not bin drinkin’ t’night!”

“Barry kisses me right here when he tucks me in at night….whatta’ about it?”

+2

“…but THIS….this is your brain on crack!”

+3

If they try messing with this they’ll find out why no one has been able to see what I mean when I say don’t be going there cause your not going to find out what’s been going on in there anyway! no how! no way! see I know what they want… ain’t gonna let it start now so don’t try! I know what I’m talking about….Yea!!!

+3

SS guy on right, JB’s right…If I have to take a bullet for this retard, i am going to be pissed.

+3

Nothing to see here… Move along.

+1

You think this plate in my head is steel? 100% pure titanium, baby!! I installed it myself in my garage

+1

So you don’t think I can install a titanium plate in my head by myself? OK, Smaht Guy, hit me right here with that hammer .. see for yourself

+1

“Igot it all up here in my ass.”

0

“I taste radio!”

+3

“The card you’re thinking of is THE JACK OF DIAMONDS!”

+2

I made a condo out of turkey!

0

“Pikachu!”

+2

“Fuzzy stuff! That’s a pancake!”

0

Psst! This guy behind me has been following me all over, call someone ,Please he’s scary! Don’t know if he’s with our government or Obama’s!

+2

“They pointed the Hubble Telescope right here and still saw nothing!”

+1

They were not supposed to put a hair plug here.

0

Nothing beyond this point!

+1

Use your head and think, if theres no debt cieling, we’ll never run out of money, the money supply will be endless, thats why we’re in charge!

+1

So I said, if you don’t drill right here, you’ll you’ll miss my single brain cell.

0

I gots me an idea, we’ll water everything with Brawndo, because its what plants crave.

+1

Because if I don’t keep my finger here, my only cell will fall out.

+1

So I told Barack, I gots me an idea, we’ll spend our way out of debt with more debt….I’m freaking brilliant I tell ya.

0

2 + 3 is 9, no wait, let me think, I know this one.

0

I know that 0bama is the best thing that has happened to this country. I feel it in my loins…

+1

During our alien abduction, they stuck the probe RIGHT HERE! Poor Barak, I can’t bring myself to tell you where they stuck the probe…..

+1

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