Home - by Cardigan - December 29, 2012 - 22:00 America/New_York - 117 Comments
December 29th, 2012
Frickin Crazy Glue!
Help me pull my finger out of my ass!
Here is where they put the metal plate once they removed half my brain.
Put the red dot right here.
I was going to say that Brad, but, no, you can get the visit…LOL
Mohammed's pink swastika
ET phone home… Ouch….
Shit-for-brains right here baby!!!
Damn, it’s my week end for pissen evrey one off. LOL. Hey, great minds think a like. Of course, I was talking about the Hindu Red Dot.
“No doubt about it–I gotta get another head.”
WHADDAYA THINK? Unemployment don”t affect me?
I got a photogenic memory right here buddy!
Not one single solitary piece of gray matter in there!
Yeah, Joe tried to point to his third-eye spot for a red-bindi. And missed.
Stirrin the B.S.
If I only had a brain….
“…and then the wizard said ‘Joe, have you ever been in a Turkish prison?’”
That aneurysm burst right here in the “High Mental Capacity” area of the brain.
So don’t ask me again if I’m mental!
see dummy I do have a hair on my ass
Here! Right Here ! Put me out of my misery !
“This teflon plate holds my plugs in much better than the damn metal one ever did…plus I can now use a microwave to make my popcorn!”
I can handle things! I’m smart! Not like everybody says… like dumb… I’m smart and I want respect!
“I could’ve been Senator Biden or Vice President Biden…oh wait…lemme start over.”
Why in the world did you put one of the hair plugs there – right in the middle of my forehead?!!!
@Digenes – totally o/t, but your avatar looks a little like Stymie’s babysitter – who hasn’t been around here, in forever. Coincidence or connection?
Ya wanna know why my ideas are fresh? Vacuum sealed, buddy, Vacuum sealed.
“Yeah, it was right here that my last original thought died of lonlieness. Thanks for reminding me about that…ya little bastard.”
“Don’t tell me! Botox covers up my lobotomy scar – there’s no way you can see it!”
Cue up Stephen Hawkings’ voice talking about empty space.
Not a Whifflehead! See man, solid as a rock!
“It puts the lotion here.”
Joe’s version of the one-finger salute.
99th Squad Leader
“If I move this finger, all my brilliant ideas will escape.”
“It’s a big fucking deal this brain of mine…and don’t you forget it. Fast and Furious, Benghazi, internets, Sandy Hook….all mine baby all mine…”
“Any of you dykes wanna put your finger in this hole?”
SS guy on left: “What have we done?!?…”
SS guy on right: “Stay calm – he thinks it makes him look smart.”
SlowJoe: “I’m a big fucking deal man…. look at my fucking brain!”
“Lemme tell ya honey,that Morsi is devout! He’s got a zabibi like a cantaloupe up here. You don’t know what a zabibi is? Well, I do.”
“Barack super glued my finger to my f****** forehead…again.”
“Slugs and snails are after me, DDT keeps me happy, now I guess I’ll have to tell’um that I’ve got no cerebellum. Gonna get my PhD, I’m VP lobotomy!”
You say hope and change is hollow!?I’ll show you hollow!
“Can’t fool ole Joe with that gotcher nose trick – I see whatcha did….my nose is right here!”
I’m Superfly! Oh my achin’ head!
Do you think it is weird that my third testicle is bigger than the other two?
“What the hell do you think THIS is?”
“Don’t answer that!!!”
You see this? This is the location of the most powerful “Black Hole” in the universe known to man, or anyone else!
” If I didn’t know my head from ass….would I be scratching my hemorrhoid here?”
It’s empty, got it?
I play second fiddle to Oblowe for God sake!
This brain are smart. Just ask me how smart I are!
“See dees plugs? Yous taxpayers paid for dees plugs!”
“This is where I’m having a third eye put.”
Do you really want to know where this things been?
Purple Zebras man, Think about it.
In the immortal words of E.T. …..”OUCH”
See Kids..this is where Brain Farts are mass produced.
Read my lips! -what a dumbass!-
This is where my one brain cell is…
December 30th, 2012
We all know there is nothing in here
andrea Shea King
Right — here.
“You have no idea what life is like living with squirrels in the attic!”
“That’s a load of malarky. When the strip is green, it’s sealed!”
“It’s all in here baby. All of it…..”
“…now what am I supposed to have in here?”
“I’ve got twice the brain power you do, you pea-brain!”
The voices. They come from here.
I keep all of that gun control data right here in my ass.
OOps that was me, forgot I cleared my cookies:(
eternal cracker p
Push the button, the mouth opens.
“I’m with stupid!”
Snowball the Sourpuss
Just as I thought! I’m a quart low.
Whaaat? This stops the echo’s between my ears!
This elevator goes allll the way to the top, baby! And don’t you forget it!
I know where I parked my head! It’s riiiiight here!!
There are only 10 floors in the building.
We’re going to 11.
ht/ sourpuss LOL.
Trying to blow out my pilot light? It can’t be done, no! Better men than you have tried!!
See? Right HERE! That’s where the cheese slid off!!
(Thanks eternal crackah)
Mom told me there’s meatloaf up there, whadda ya say we have some of Joe’s meatloaf right now?
I got shot in Korea right there, or was it Nam? No wait it was Cheney
The holes are too far apart for my fingers or I would show you what I can do with a bowling ball.
Hear that sound when I tap it?
“Why does everyone keep asking me if my head’s up my ass? See, here it is, right here!”
My boss poked me right here and said …..?
(go with it IOW’s)
Ya see, it hurts to think! You’d know that if you ever thunk like me!!
See this, points to bad hair plugs. This is why I need a raise and you need to pay more taxes!!!!
Just last month I had a Pentium II processor installed right in here, and a whopping 64 kilobytes of RAM. I have a bigger phonographic memory than any of you people here. That’s why they made me the mayor of France and you all are just pee-ons.
And, yes, I’ll have fries with that….
Abby Normal Dude
My pet squirrel Frankie travels with me where ever I go; He’s got a nice little home right here. Shove a peanut in my ear and watch him grab it.
“Drop it, or I swear I’ll blow this nigger’s head ALL OVER THIS TOWN! [pickaninny voice] Oh, Lawdy-Lawd, he’s desp’at! Do what he say, do what he saaaayyyy… do what he saaaayyyy”
This neuron right here works just like new.
Brain Power Swede; Brain Power! I’ve got it and I’ll use it
“Really? Look me in the EYES and say that!”
“I swear to you, they went in right here and took most of it out!”
“If I only had a brain….”
“Stones, I tell ya’…I got stones…see?”
What a cough syrup breathalizer looks like!
“Ummm, wha…….huh…uh, no occifer, I haves not bin drinkin’ t’night!”
“Barry kisses me right here when he tucks me in at night….whatta’ about it?”
“…but THIS….this is your brain on crack!”
If they try messing with this they’ll find out why no one has been able to see what I mean when I say don’t be going there cause your not going to find out what’s been going on in there anyway! no how! no way! see I know what they want… ain’t gonna let it start now so don’t try! I know what I’m talking about….Yea!!!
SS guy on right, JB’s right…If I have to take a bullet for this retard, i am going to be pissed.
Nothing to see here… Move along.
You think this plate in my head is steel? 100% pure titanium, baby!! I installed it myself in my garage
So you don’t think I can install a titanium plate in my head by myself? OK, Smaht Guy, hit me right here with that hammer .. see for yourself
“Igot it all up here in my ass.”
“I taste radio!”
“The card you’re thinking of is THE JACK OF DIAMONDS!”
I made a condo out of turkey!
“Fuzzy stuff! That’s a pancake!”
Psst! This guy behind me has been following me all over, call someone ,Please he’s scary! Don’t know if he’s with our government or Obama’s!
“They pointed the Hubble Telescope right here and still saw nothing!”
They were not supposed to put a hair plug here.
Nothing beyond this point!
Use your head and think, if theres no debt cieling, we’ll never run out of money, the money supply will be endless, thats why we’re in charge!
So I said, if you don’t drill right here, you’ll you’ll miss my single brain cell.
I gots me an idea, we’ll water everything with Brawndo, because its what plants crave.
Because if I don’t keep my finger here, my only cell will fall out.
So I told Barack, I gots me an idea, we’ll spend our way out of debt with more debt….I’m freaking brilliant I tell ya.
2 + 3 is 9, no wait, let me think, I know this one.
Stranded in Sonoma
I know that 0bama is the best thing that has happened to this country. I feel it in my loins…
During our alien abduction, they stuck the probe RIGHT HERE! Poor Barak, I can’t bring myself to tell you where they stuck the probe…..
IMAO » Blog Archive » lolbama! Part 117
January 6th, 2013
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