iOwnTheWorld.com

Come give Grandma a kiss.

+6

Spit or Swallow honey?

+4

Damn, farting in this dress is as bad as farting in a space suit!

+2

Damn cosmetic surgeon !! I’ll need some time off to get this fixed……hmmmmm… Maybe I’ll get a “concussion”

+2

Come hither.

+1

I can haz more drinks?

+9

Ohww, it’s not easy watching that reality show in Benghazi.

+2

I know you’re shitting me when you say we’re out of booze.

+4

Is Congress gone yet?

+7

Is my lipstick on straight?

+5

Slick Willie was an amateur.

+1

I fell at hit my head really really hard. Now I can’t testify.

+4

And you yokels fell for the concussion story — Cheers!

+2

Also starring Huma Abedin as Olive Oyl

+9

Wild Turkey straight up will do that to your face too.

+5

Wink,wink George, I’ll have just one more, with two olives and a bent straw.

+3

you’re a mean one, mr. grinch!

+5

Eww, Bill how come your cigar has that funny taste to it

0

A couple more shot of Tequila and I’ll be all over Dirty Harry!

+2

This is NOT aging with dignity. Christ Almighty, even Greyscape wouldn…….

+3

Hey Barry, come over here, I have something to show you, wink, wink.

+1

Beauty is skin deep but ugly goes to the bone!

+4

Just a second – okay what was your question?

+2

Just came from the store, and the Enquirer says she has inoperable brain cancer. Could that account for a lifetime of incompetence?

+2

Oh that reminds me. See the Hobbit. Thanks.

+1

HillBlow BagSacks

+5

Here’s my Terminator impersonation.

+1

Gotcha, Chris Stevens!

Gotcha, Ty Woods!

+2

Stinkeye.

+5

Why is she using a peach foundation over her cool skin tone? Seek. Proper. Colors. And BLEND BLEND BLEND.

Oh FFS! What’s the point?!

+9

Seeing that she loves drama and hostility…
She’s probably winking at Chris Brown.

” Rhianna, gurrrrl, I’ma bout to take yo man.”

+4

OoooWeeee, Girl! You must be the one put the “tang” in Poon Tang!

+2

And then I’d close my right eye, like this, because like Gennifer said his pecker’s bent to the left.

Please forgive me, I couldn’t resist

+5

Huma honey hand me that washcloth. My eye’s stuck shut again.

+9

Have you ever seen a movie entitled, “Killer Clowns From Outer Space”?

+3

This is what I’ll look like in 2016 when I run for President!!!

+2

Roseanne Barr’s twin sister.

+4

Annnnnnnnd…. that wasn’t a fart.

+2

Concussion, stroke, or just a liberal?

+4

Congratulations, you’ve finally found a female (?) Mr Grayscape wouldn’t hit on.

Some age gracefully and some just age.

+1

Yeah, but can she bake a cherry pie, Billy boy, Billy boy?

+1

Am I still seeing double – or is Michelle’s ass really that big?

+5

That face could bring Eleanor back to heteroness.

On second thought… don’t bother, Babs.

+4

Franklin, you big teaser.

Hey, Vince Foster wants to know, “Who is that salty sea hag?”

+5

Such a hardcore player is Hillary, that she’ll involuntarily wink when she spots another lesbian even several hundred yards away.

+2

It’s the one eyed trouser monster.

+1

OOOOOOOOWEEEE! this vibrating butt plug is STRONG!

+2

Now THIS is an airport pat-down. And it’s free!

0

Seeing this picture cures erections lasting over 4 hours !!

+6

oo, oo, oo. There’s the spot Mr. gerbil.

+2

Reminds me of a whore I once encounted in Genova. She kept her boots on and was eating an apple while I attempted to engage. Fail. I gave her 3000 Lire and left.Got drunk instead.

0

This black lollipop tastes like it was in someone’s ass.

+2

Went a little heavy on the Summer’s Eve today, didn’t we Huma?

+3

Last time I had this taste in my mouth was when Janet Reno had a yeast infection.

+8

Hey Moochelle, you have a little cheese on the old taco or is that just how wookies smell normally?

0

“I’M MELTING. I’M MELTINGGGGGGG.”

+4

That’s gonna leave a mark…

0

Damn. She is NOT aging gracefully. She better have a damn good plan because she won’t get elected on her looks.

+2

“Aarrgghhh! Ahoy maties! Shiver me timbers!”

+2

“Hillary, while traveling across the globe, don’t tell me you didn’t get laid at least once or twice since taking office?”

0

“Hey barkeep, how about another round…on the TAXPAYERS!”

+5

Gimme one more second and I’ll have that Bengazi excuse for ya…

0

Benghazi – now that’s a bitter pill to swallow, eh Hillary? (probably not, the bitch is faking it)

0

Just a little nip here and a tuck there and I’ll be ready for my Benghazi testimony. You didn’t really buy that concussion story, did you?

0

“It’s alive!”

+2

Since I bumped my head, I have not had that recurring dream where Vince Foster is chasing me in Fort Marcy Park.

+1

@Mary Jane Anklestraps, I was SO happy when my mom finally accepted that she had fair skin (as do I) and she stopped facing the world with a mask of beige foundation.

+3

If I close my eye I only see one of you.

+3

Her wrinkles wrinkles have wrinkles. Great-grandwrinkles?

+1

What do you mean, that I have more wrinkles than Pelosi?

+1

Who thinks that’s electable in 4 more years?

+2

That cannot be a genuine human face.

+1

Drunken incontent flatulent old dyke hell bent on destroying the republic.

0

Boy, she really looks like shit !!

+1

Huma, you stuck your nipple in my eye!

0

It’s hard to say what happened in Benghazi, I can only see out of one eye.

+1

It all evens out.

Billy has Monica,

I’ve got Huma Abedin

0

Poker face? No, Joker face.

0

A movie trailer … riiiiiiiiiiight!

0