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Attempted Mammslaughter
Woman arrested after trying to kill her boyfriend with her large breast
A man claims he was nearly killed after his girlfriend choked him with her over sized chest, according to court proceedings.
A high-flying lawyer fled in terror naked after his girlfriend used her 38DDs in an attempt to kill him, a German court has heard.
Tim Schmidt, 30, said his girlfriend, Franziska Hansen, 33, mounted her assault while they were having sex because she was jealous of his successful career.
She denies the charge of attempted murder with a deadly weapon after the incident in the city of Unna in May. According to her, it was a sex game gone wrong and Schmidt panicked.
He told the court he was admiring her large chest closely when she suddenly stuck his head between her chest and squeezed hard. Schmidt was smothered and began to panic as he struggled to breathe, the court heard.
h/t Reiuxcat
grayscape
December 29th, 2012
Why can’t something like that happen to me?
MNP
December 29th, 2012
How did I know you’d be the first one to comment?
Jorel Lives!
December 29th, 2012
Ooooohhh Baby! Beat me! Beat mmmeeeeee hard! EeeeeOouch! Harder!
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
Oh Cardigan, I see you are trying to tempt BigFur and Dagny away from their overheated Logic argument.
This one, er two just might do the trick, he he.
grayscape,
I, I, I just don’t know what to say. The boyfriend didn’t seem to like it that much. Maybe he’ll trade places with you.
MNP
December 29th, 2012
Not beating around the bush are you Karin?
Jorel Lives!
December 29th, 2012
You’d be surprised how many men love BBW’s
Skorpion
December 29th, 2012
Life imitates (low) art: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069952/
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
@MNP
Why whatever bush am I beating around, pray tell?
Bad Brad
December 29th, 2012
Here I am, rocks my like a hurricane. I’ll give ya two dimes for that nipple.
MNP
December 29th, 2012
To tell the truth Kairn I don’t know if there is a bush. May not be a bush. Mabey a landing strip?
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
Boobs as lethal weapons. Who’d a figured? I wonder if the boyfriend was one of those tiny guys you could knock over with a feather? The kind that look like one of those tiny male angler fishes that get absorbed into the body of the way bigger female angler fish. Oh dear, what a mental picture.
grayscape, you should be careful what you wish for!
Dagny
December 29th, 2012
“with a deadly weapon”
Pretty sure the feministas would be willing to ban assault tits.
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
As a well endowed woman myself, I can tell you guys, this gal tried to kill her boyfriend with tatas much bigger than DDs. Or at least she is squeezing those puppies into the wrong bra size. Which is certainly a common mistake women make.
But using them to kill someone – wow, that simply astonishes me. Maybe the guy was mistaken. Maybe she just fell asleep because the sex was so boring.
Jerry Manderin
December 29th, 2012
Well if you’re gonna go…better than dying from an exploding water heater!
Bad Brad
December 29th, 2012
Boom chic a wow wow. Those things should be registered. Maybe restricted. Oh hell no, I plead insanity, I’m crazy about titties.
Mary Jane Anklestraps
December 29th, 2012
I saw some woman busting open watermelons and beer cans with one of her boobs on TV. She’s her own sideshow. lolol
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
@MJA
She got the idea from Gallagher, right?
Xavier
December 29th, 2012
I used to date these 2 strippers in Richmond that would beat the hell out of you with their tits in public just for their amusement. Nowhere near that big, though.
Maybe I’d better not post this.
Kairn
December 29th, 2012
@Xavier,
For their amusement? Just you? Or would they do this to strangers? Lordy, Lordy. The things people reveal.
Bad Brad
December 29th, 2012
Xavier. Ya know, it might be to late. Bless you brother. I will sleep happy tonight yelling beat me whip me, make me write bad checks.
Moxie Man
December 29th, 2012
I still love Katey Sagal’s boobs. I must be a Son of Anarchy.
Moxie Man
December 29th, 2012
… although Al Bundy did trade up.
Noelegy
December 29th, 2012
Ummm…she’s bigger than 38DD…
TheFineReport.com
December 29th, 2012
I’m glad to see you’re carrying the story of the big bust in Germany.
TheFineReport.com
December 29th, 2012
The trial testimony:
Victim: “She was smothering me to death!”
Prosecutor: “Did she say anything?”
Victim: “She might have. But I couldn’t hear a thing!”
Moe Tom
December 29th, 2012
Greyscape. I thought of you first. Then I thought that’s better than dropping dead on the 18th hole at Pinehurst after a birdie putt.
Anonymous
December 29th, 2012
Lethal assault weapons! must be banned….. Why do people need those extra large tits? B cups should be the limit.
the aardvark
December 29th, 2012
Why do I find this funny? And thanks for the mammaries.
mossberg12gal
December 29th, 2012
Suicide by ta-ta’s?
Bet she can’t play the guitar!
Chieftain
December 29th, 2012
Now that’s a balcony you could do Shakespeare from…
The Finisher
December 29th, 2012
I thought it was no such thing as TOO much of a good thing!
cfm990
December 29th, 2012
Are you sure that’s Hanson, and not Holstein?
Johnny Freedom
December 29th, 2012
I’ll take the Monty Python method of execution, thanks.
sig94
December 29th, 2012
I saw she had big knockers,
They were as big as my head.
But when I plunged into them
I nearly turned up dead.
I needed my tittie snorkel
Or a breast rebreather!
Struggling to breathe in her boobies
Suffering in her Taa-taas of Pain.
Killing me slowly with her tits
Killing me slowly with no air
Wishing those titties weren’t there
Killing me slowly with her tits
Callmelennie
December 29th, 2012
@kairn
You had me at “As a well endowed woman …”
FreeMan & Sarah Intend to Defend
December 29th, 2012
What a way to go.
Choked to death with boobs. Made love till it killed him.
piston honda
December 29th, 2012
White people problems
kvn
December 29th, 2012
Live by the tit, die by the tit.
Major Mal function
December 29th, 2012
We can clearly see which one has the big boobs and which one is the big boob.
MemphisRebel
December 29th, 2012
Death by motor boating.
Corona
December 29th, 2012
mmmmmfff….ppffffmmmmffffhh….
Bob M.
December 29th, 2012
I’d say his law practice is about to perk up!
sTevo
December 29th, 2012
I am sure Kung Fu would have preferred to go out this way.
mkultra
December 29th, 2012
I hope we’ll see some jugstice for the victim.
Whom
December 29th, 2012
sTevo, it seems Kung Fu Carradine preferred a rope
Great Rifftrax episode starring Carradine:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rBRC8EFZrJw
.