» News

Domestic Tiff Caused By Husband’s Noxious Gas

Home - by - December 18, 2012 - 23:30 America/New_York - 31 Comments

TSG

Cops: Domestic Tiff Caused By Husband’s Noxious Gas, Wife’s Lysol Spray Rejoinder

 

A domestic disturbance was triggered yesterday afternoon when a South Carolina man passed gas that his wife said was “bad enough to cause her to almost puke,” according to a police report.

Faced with the noxious odor, Shannon Manatis, 41, said she reached for a can of vanilla-scented Lysol and sprayed it in the “area” of her husband. However, Michael Manatis, 46, told a Spartanburg County Sheriff’s Office deputy that Shannon had actually “sprayed the Lysol in his eyes.”

In response, Michael “threw water on Shannon” and then tossed a plastic water bottle at her. Shannon claimed that she was actually struck with a glass of tea in the back of her head.

Tasked with sorting out the conflicting stories, the deputy spoke with Michael, who explained that an “upset stomach” prompted him to pass the gas which angered his spouse. The deputy also noted that, “Upon my original arrival to the residence there was a clear liquid on the back door and floor. This was not consistent with tea but is believed to be water.”

After consulting with a local judge, the investigator determined that there was a lack of probable cause to issue an arrest warrant.

more

» 31 Comments

  1. Chalupa

    December 18th, 2012

    I thought the gas wars went away in the sixties…

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  2. Bad Brad

    December 18th, 2012

    Chalupa, pull my finger.

    Thumb up +6

     
  3. old_oaks

    December 18th, 2012

    I get the Dutch Oven going daily, as long as I don’t hold the covers over her head, she gets over it.

    Thumb up +2

     
  4. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    December 18th, 2012

    Don’t do it, Chalupa! That’s not his finger!!! :D

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  5. Bad Brad

    December 18th, 2012

    Mary Jane Anklestraps, Virtual high five.

    Thumb up +4

     
  6. Bad Brad

    December 18th, 2012

    I know what clued you in. Should not take both hands to pull a finger.

    Thumb up +4

     
  7. Kairn

    December 18th, 2012

    Heard a true story told about a woman, yes a woman who was sleeping near a carbon monoxide detector. She passed gas in her sleep. Set the detector off. Scared the crap out of her husband sleeping next to her.

    Thumb up +4

     
  8. Menderman

    December 19th, 2012

    We are all going crazy and we still have 3 days left!

    Thumb up +6

     
  9. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    December 19th, 2012

    LOLOL OK.

    Thumb up +5

     
  10. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    December 19th, 2012

    Mendies, have them move that shit to the 27th. I want my presents and I’m hoping the dress I want goes on sale on the 26th.

    Thumb up +6

     
  11. Kairn

    December 19th, 2012

    I want any excuse for good belly laughs the next three days, seeing as the world is coming to an end soon. I must be feeling desperate if I’m joining in on fart jokes. Oh well, eat, drink, fart, and be merry. For in 3 days we die.

    Thumb up +4

     
  12. Melody

    December 19th, 2012

    Just imagine bottling up that fragrence.

    Thumb up +3

     
  13. Menderman

    December 19th, 2012

    I’ll send them an email MJA…I’ll let ya know what they say…

    Thumb up +3

     
  14. Bad Brad

    December 19th, 2012

    Friday we will be lighting them. Just in case. My new name will be—–The Blue Flame”. Sounds like a crime fighter huh.

    Thumb up +4

     
  15. Moxie Man

    December 19th, 2012

    Number ONE reason to have a dog!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  16. Bad Brad

    December 19th, 2012

    Pull my tail.

    Thumb up +4

     
  17. Kairn

    December 19th, 2012

    @Bad Brad, er Blue Flame,

    Maybe if you could figure out how to clamp Kardashian’s ass into some kind of frame. Now that would be some super dooper flame thrower!!!! A force to be reckoned with.

    Thumb up +3

     
  18. Bad Brad

    December 19th, 2012

    Kairn: That conjures up some horrific mental images. Kinda of a Monty Python Search for The Holy Grail twist to it. I think the site of that just bent over with some guy with an open flame standing next to it might have a devastating effect on ones enemy. Damn that things got teeth. Is that Reggie Bush trying to crawl out?

    Thumb up +1

     
  19. Kairn

    December 19th, 2012

    Ass-o-matic Flame Thrower by Kardashian.

    Be very careful where you point that thing, eh.

    Not recommended for deer hunting trips.

    Thumb up +3

     
  20. Menderman

    December 19th, 2012

    MJA…Just got a reply. all it said was “NUTS!”

    Thumb up +1

     
  21. Bad Brad

    December 19th, 2012

    Why is it always about Menderman’s nuts?

    Thumb up +2

     
  22. Billy Fuster

    December 19th, 2012

    These assault farts must be banned.

    Thumb up +3

     
  23. the aardvark

    December 19th, 2012

    Was it a loud obnoxious fart or a SBD?

    Thumb up +1

     
  24. Team America

    December 19th, 2012

    LOL – fart jokes first thing in the morning. If Captian America & I assaulted each other with bodily functions, we’d be arrested every day.

    Thumb up +2

     
  25. [...] Wives and Girlfriends Everywhere Can SympathizePosted on December 19, 2012 by Zilla • 0 CommentsSeriously, men, go fart outside or put a charcoal filter in your drawers – stop the madness! [...]

    Thumb up +1

     
  26. Zilla

    December 19th, 2012

    That’s Batshit Crazy! Linked at BsCN along with some info on a product that can save smelly men the wrath of their nauseated women.

    Thumb up 0

     
  27. Xavier

    December 19th, 2012

    One little green pill at bedtime works wonders.

    And sometimes a blue one helps too.

    Thumb up +1

     
  28. IronyCurtain

    December 19th, 2012

    The high price of gas today.

    Thumb up +1

     
  29. ronnie b

    December 19th, 2012

    “Why is it always about Menderman’s nuts?”

    now THERE’S ya a whole new thread topic

    Thumb up +1

     
  30. Death_By_Farts

    December 19th, 2012

    Hmmm…..I like it.

    Thumb up 0

     
  31. Kairn

    December 19th, 2012

    If he only had a pair of these, he would have spared himself and his poor wife a lot of agony:

    http://www.4skins.com/pages/About-4Skins.html

    Thumb up 0