iOwnTheWorld.com

Don’t Take Any Wooden Nipples

+8

Is this happening outside?
Will they be filming from a helicopter?
You know, for an areola-view? heh.

+4

LOL Wooden nipples.

+3

Free Pair of Pumps At the Hospital!

+3

Well thanks for keeping us abreast of the situation.

+6

I bet this will take some of the older ladies down mammary lane.

+8

Step up to the bar and make it a double D

+6

So will there be bouncers in case things get out of control?

+4

Don’t they have enough milk stored in jugs?

+5

I hear they have some in a storage chest.

+4

I hope there isn’t a fee to do this. I hate it when people nipple and dime you.

+7

Well, I’m done now. Thanks for letting me get it off my chest.

+7

Oh mammy.

+3

Hey, now, boob jokes aside (or in front) what is going on here?

Breastfeeding is exploitation of a woman’s body, it should be her right whether she deems it acceptable to take from her own self to feed the offspring foisted upon her by some male oppressor.

After all, having the life forcibly sucked out of her by some leech, possibly a male leech, which just happened to extrude from her sovereign “ladyparts” is painful and time consuming.

Time which would be better spent protesting the oppression of her sex by the republicans.

In addition to the pain and time, breastfeeding also causes the breast tissue to increase in size, again the fault of males, forcing her to carry around even more oppressive weight supported by breast supporting CAGES known as brassieres, another cruel invention by men.

Everyone knows that a properly liberated woman simply uses the chemical cocktail known as “formula” and, that same “formula” should preferably be paid for by TEh Gubmint.

+5

Right this way ladies… Through the chute take a spot to the right. Attach the milkers. Moooove slowly..

+5

2% or whole?

+3

No doubt MADD will make a show of force.

Men AGAINST Double D’s

+4

What’s the fire pole got to do with this?

+5

Do they need an inspector for any illegal use of hormones or “other growth enhancers”?

+3

Breast milk is actually pretty tasty. Don’t ask….

+3

Let me guess…white ribbons, or are they already taken by some other crisis…no wait, white ribbons would be racist.

+4

Shortage? Baby-daddies must be skimming the cream.

+2

“Move over, kid. You can’t do ‘em both at the same time.”

+3

In honor of the Christmas season and first snowfall. Here’s a little milk drive jingle:

Oh the milk supply is frightful,
But my dear, you have a “D” cupful,
And since the babies have nothing to swallow,
Let it flow, let it flow, let it flow

+3

“Give till it squirts”???
Oy…how long have you been saving that one, bfh?

This story reminds me…I miss Ralph and Stymie.
They’re probably in some baby juvenile detention center.

+5

I’ve been suffing from a shortage for 40 years.

+2

This might offend the lactose intolerant.

+5

The hospital’s in a nice building – it has a lot of curd appeal.

+2

They say milk drives are turning into a cottage industry…

+3

The lobby’s taken on quite a dairy air…

+4

Ok, guys, I think we’ve milked this topic for all it’s worth.

+4

Will they be held at Kaiser Permanipply?

+2

I’ve been suffering from a milk shortage for 40 years.

+3