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They Are Watching – And Pointing and Laughing

Home - by - December 5, 2012 - 18:57 America/New_York - 23 Comments

This is straight out of the “you’re never going to believe this in a million epochs” file.

There’s a country called the United States on a planet Earth that is going through a political battle.

Basically, the country has two major ruling parties. The democrats want the government to be as big as possible, running everyone’s lives from “womb to tomb,” transferring as many responsibilities as possible to the collective. They do this by confiscating revenue that the people have earned.

The republicans claim to want the government as small as possible, letting people run their own lives as much as possible, keeping their own money  and  taking on their own responsibilities. Many times the republicans have been in power, yet, the government is still a behemoth that is completely out of money.

The United States just reelected a president who has spent more money that he doesn’t have at a rate that exceeds the amount the 43 other presidents spent… combined.

The amount of money being proposed for spending, plus the debt that they admit that they already accrued, plus the amount of money that has been promised through what they call entitlements, exceeds all of the wealth of the entire planet combined.

The republicans want some serious talk about pruning the size of the government. Meanwhile the democrats blame this problem on the people who already foot most of the bill already. They say they “aren’t paying their fair share.” Even if they took every earned penny from these people being scapegoated it wouldn’t make a dent towards the money the democrats are spending. Interestingly, most of the people who are largely responsible for electing this president do not pay into the system, but they expect a big payout. It’s called “fairness.”

But none of this is the part you’re not going to believe. This is the part -

On Earth, people are different colors, and when a republican raises any concern for this obvious mismanagement the democrats say this is faux concern. They claim that the real concern is that the president is dark colored. They call the people who are concerned “racists.” Even the people who are dark colored and raise concerns are called names. One name is “Oreo.” (I must confess, I don’t know what that means, but it’s meant to humiliate them and shut them up.)

Strangely, when a dark colored republican is criticized by a democrat, the democrat is not called a racist.

Some other odd observations-

-Republicans think that dark colored people can take care of themselves. The democrats do not, yet, the republicans are branded as the “racists.”

- Democrat policies have not helped dark colored people move out of poverty.  And during the first dark colored president’s term, dark colored people faired the worst from his policies, yet, they think of him as The Messiah. (Messiah must be the Earth term for “person who makes a mess.”)

- A survey of people says that when the “shit hits the fan” they are going to blame the republicans.

It’s an odd place, that United States. Stay tuned for more lunacy in the future.

 

 

» 23 Comments

  1. J Frank Parnell

    December 5th, 2012

    Honest journalism criticizing the Left? Now I know extraterrestrials are real and Jorge is one of them.

    Thumb up +6

     
  2. norman einstein

    December 5th, 2012

    What a strange place!
    Forget about all those minutiae like “money” and “entitlements”.
    Those are meaningless, you silly savages.
    And do you mean to say that you haven’t even agreed on a universal color and uniform? What have you been DOING for these past 21 millennia?

    And some of your lower life forms have been allowed to develop a weapon, albeit primitive, that is capable of blasting your whole host planet into oblivion?

    Get back to the drawing board, you ridiculous earthlings!
    I’m very afraid we’re going to have to cancel this experiment and start over.

    Thumb up +6

     
  3. Menderman

    December 5th, 2012

    and when the get called racists, they go get a colored guy to run their party so they don’t look racist, and then the other side calls the colored guy names for helping the racists…so they get a light colored guy with a weird name and get called racist for having a light colored guy and then they go look for another colored guy to run their party…

    Thumb up +4

     
  4. Claudia

    December 5th, 2012

    @Menderman, I almost wet my pants laughing! How true; sad but true.

    Thumb up +5

     
  5. Xavier

    December 5th, 2012

    The next installment should be on AGW.

    Thumb up +3

     
  6. Moe tom

    December 5th, 2012

    What a great essay. Is there a link?

    Thumb up +1

     
  7. kvn

    December 5th, 2012

    Where did this first appear?
    Genius.

    Thumb up +1

     
  8. BigFurHat

    December 5th, 2012

    I just wrote it.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  9. Jimmy

    December 5th, 2012

    When you put it llike that…

    we’re disgusting!!

    Blow that country up.

    Thumb up +4

     
  10. Frosteetoes

    December 5th, 2012

    What does Star Trek and toilet paper have in common?

    Both circle UrANUS looking for Kling-ons.

    :p

    Thumb up +4

     
  11. hanoverfist

    December 5th, 2012

    Illogical.

    -Spock

    Oh,and RACIST!

    Thumb up +1

     
  12. hanoverfist

    December 5th, 2012

    I miss Ken Hamblin.

    Thumb up 0

     
  13. Menderman

    December 5th, 2012

    Good one Big Fur Hat. Keep it up.

    Thumb up +3

     
  14. Menderman

    December 5th, 2012

    Thanks Claudia!

    And I like your Christmas decoration!

    Thumb up +2

     
  15. kvn

    December 5th, 2012

    BFH, Brilliant!
    {-Republicans think that dark colored people can take care of themselves. The democrats do not, yet, the republicans are branded as the “racists.”}

    Thumb up +6

     
  16. kvn

    December 5th, 2012

    I searched all over Uranus, baby, for the source.

    Thumb up +1

     
  17. OzarksAbe

    December 5th, 2012

    Beam me up Scotty, there is no intellegent life down here.

    Thumb up +3

     
  18. Carlos The Jackal

    December 5th, 2012

    Uranus Bugler, otherwise known as the white house executive brief

    Thumb up +2

     
  19. Gracie

    December 5th, 2012

    Brilliant, BFH. Thanks.

    Thumb up +3

     
  20. Ten Megaton

    December 5th, 2012

    I thought them were dingle berries, Frosteetoes.

    Resistance is futile

    but I got me a phome, goddammit.

    Thumb up +1

     
  21. Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk

    December 5th, 2012

    Several years ago, I tried to explain how the California government managed its finances to my fifth grade son. The look he gave me was “why are adults so stupid?”

    Basically, the only skills required in figuring out finances is an ability to count, add and subtract. Maybe the next governor of California should be someone with no other skills other than an ability to count, add and subtract.

    Thumb up +5

     
  22. fullcirclethinker

    December 6th, 2012

    Brilliant BFH!! However, you don’t have to go that far away from the planet to get the truth. Anywhere from Canada to Asia and even to Russia for goodness sakes prints the truth about what a mess we have made of ourselves.

    Thumb up +2

     
  23. ApacheWarrior

    December 8th, 2012

    “running everyones life “from womb to tomb,””

    And, in many cases, with no stops in between.

    Thumb up 0