Washington, DC – (SatireWorld.com)
With pressure building from within Congress about a fiscal cliff, and concerns voiced by OSHA,
the US National Park service has temporarily closed all parks in the US with unfenced overlooks
citing the dangers to the public.
OSHA spokesperson Nancy Redcone, says a recent spate of party faithful falling from unfenced fall
offs has sparked the emergency ruling prompting the US National Park Service to close almost
700 parks to visitors until safety railing were in place.
A spokesman for the trial lawyers association, and member of the Dewey, Cheatumn,and Howe
law firm in Washington had this to say…”It’s a threat to all Americans when they blindly approach
the fiscal cliff especially when blinded by political theater and partisan politics.”
In recent weeks reports of ‘Democrat sheeple’ falling from unguarded overlooks has increased.
Many point to the euphoric distraction of an Obama second term seemingly blinding many visitors
which causing them to step out over the edge.
The National Park Service promises quick action to guard against catastrophe and has
awarded a contract to Larry’s Fence Service of Rome, Georgia to begin work on fencing the
complete edges of the Grand Canyon as the first project to forestall falling over cliffs problems.
Davis Axlegrease, an advisor to President Obama, says federal stimulus funds will be a used to
construct the safety barrier and monies will be pulled from fence projects on the US southern border
to facilitate safer national parks.
According to a statement released by Axlegrease…”We don’t want our well educated and
trained sheeple to fall over something as silly as a fiscal cliff, so your president will actually
save lives in the end.”