Home - by Cardigan - December 1, 2012 - 01:36 America/New_York - 32 Comments
December 1st, 2012
I’m starting to believe that MoFo does have AIDS. He could get a job cleaning out rain gutters and down spouts.
I’m indifferent to the first two, the last one get’s flushed.
The first two – never in a million years.
Last one – I’m going to let God throw that one in the garbage for me.
My fruitcake anecdote: When I first met my husband’s maternal grandparents, his Grandfather, Les, was proudly showing off his frozen food hoard (they had two extra upright freezers). I pointed out a brown “cake” about the size of a half-pound of butter. It was in a ziploc bag. Inside the bag was a hunk of his prize fruitcake. More curiously, there was a small, type-written note listing the contents and the date it was made, November 22, 1963. Seeing that it was now (then) about 1993, I was deeply impressed with how long a fruitcake can last in freezer without sustaining obvious freezer burn, but I was even more impressed by the date.
What else was happening the day Les made his famous fruitcake?
Oh, and the third picture isn’t even an honest fruitcake — Fruit Loop, more like.
Forgot to add that I when Les died, I specifically requested the frozen piece of fruitcake and its note. It is now in my own upright freezer, being held safely for posterity. I’d like to think it will survive down through the ages.
F.D.R. in Hell
a brick, a chick, a prick
I Love CHRISTmas fruitcake…the resident in the WH.
hate would be the right word.
The first two are some version of fruit cake.
The top one. No
Middle one. Maybe.
The bottom one is a Twink. NO ! Yes, flush it away.
That one has more Reggie cream filling than the recently deceased Twinkie snack.
Aren’t the walnuts and candied fruit supposed to be [in] the fruitcake, not on top of it? Must be a new bride.
BTW, spoaking it in sherry overnight makes it even yummier, and keeps it fresh well into the next century when its wrapped tightly like a mummy in a sherry-soaked cheesecloth covered with Saran wrap.
* soaking, not spoaking – argh!!! *
I love them when they come with 150 proof rum and sherry. I don’t drink, but those cakes are fine indeed. The third one down… don’t try to fool me….dat be a gay fruitcake…unedible.
The first 2 can be bought with foodstamps, the third one is what happens in the bathroom toilet after eating the first two.. unfortunatly, for us.. that guy is more like a “floater type turd”, since we were unable to flush him in this last election..
I love fruitcake if it has quality ingredients and does not have a batter like that pictured in the second image.
As for the last fruitcake, I despise him with a burning hatred I never thought possible. I’ll probably burn in hell for that, but he really leaves me nauseous.
Fruitcake was originally invented by the Egyptians thousands of years ago. They were used as part of the construction of the pyramids. That last picture was invented by the Saudis.
Carlos The Jackal
It’s a little-known fact that there have been no new fruitcakes made since the mid-sixties. They’re all the same ones being re-gifted.
I forget was that the real cover for SpewsWeek or a parody? It has become hard to tell real from satire in the MSM, they’ve become such a farce. I look forward to Time and the NYT shriveling to an online edition only too.
I’m not big fan of fruitcake but up the road a piece from my house is the Crest Haven Farm Market, owned by our local Mennonite community. The lady that does the baking makes fruitcake that is absolutely, 100%, so freakin’ delicious it would make a person worship Satan for a piece of it.
PS: the last fruitcake pictured looks like the end result of eating a fruitcake…. just sayin’
Marry John Grab Ankles
I love it, especially with nuts!
Birdie Num Num
As a food , hate.
As a weapon, love.
Have 2 Hostess fruitcakes for sale. Very rare.
After 4 more years of the 3rd fruitcake, you’ll feel blessed to get some of the previous two.
We’ll be lucky if we’re not ALL dumpster divers.
FreeMan & Sarah Intend to Defend
Doesn’t Hostess make those damn things?
I have one in the attic from the 60′s, and it is still fresh right next to the carton of Twinkies.
That last fruit cake is coming back for a third term… just can’t give it away….
The third one is an insult to all fruitcakes.
I actually make my own fruitcakes from scratch starting before Thanksgiving. A good soaking of rum once a week ’til Christmas week. Of the fruitcakes I mean.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
Claxton is the best fruit cake.
Pinning that label on Obumfuk is insult,
to all fruit cakes.
Properly done, fruitcake can be delicious. The Swiss Colony makes really good fruitcake. That last photo, though…that’s downright unpalatable.
Agree with the “properly done” caveat. However, when it looks like someone substituted core samples of Crayolas for the candied fruit, run.
sam’s Club sells the best fruit cake for sale.
Clayton Fruit cake
Auto correct failed
That should be Claxton Fruit cake
December 2nd, 2012
My grammy and my mom make the most delicious old fashioned fruit cakes that I’ve ever eaten, and I’ve tried several different brands of commercial fruit cakes if only to satisfy my curiosity, or whenever my grammy’s or my mom’s fruit cakes haven’t been accessible or available.
One Chistmas a few years ago, I made three of them as gifts with my mom’s recipe, and they got rave reviews, even from people who had previously sort of disliked fruit cakes. With a good recipe, they are time-consuming and a lot of work. and expensive to make, too.
On another blog, I read that fruit cakes were created in western Europe several hundred years ago, originally as festive wedding cakes.
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