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WANT AN HOUR WITH SANDRA FLUKE?

Home - by - November 30, 2012 - 08:45 America/New_York - 19 Comments

Angry White Dude

Noted slut and Democrat idol Sandra Fluke is selling an hour of her time to the highest bidder. Government provided condoms included. Antibiotics are not. Fluke became infamous for testifying she likes having sex with a lot of people and it is the taxpayer’s responsibility to provide her with an ample supply of birth control. To keep Fluke from procreating, AWD believes paying for hundreds of condoms weekly is a wise investment.

Now, Fluke appears to be moving from slut to whore-lady status. She’s currently selling her time off to the highest bidder. On Biddingforgood.com (Biddingforagoodtime.com), Fluke is selling a one hour “strategy session” to some horny guy too ugly to reel in the biscuit without a handful of cash American. The ad says:

Got a fantastic idea for a campaign (yeah baybah, I got a fantastic idea for a campaign!) but not sure where to start (Oh yeah, I know just where to start!)? Wondering how you can use the tools of activism (yeah, I got a big tool for you right here!) to make your project the most effective it can be? Social justice advocate (noted slut and now whore-lady) Sandra Fluke will help you harness the power (oh yeah…harness the power over here!) of activism and/or advocacy with this strategy session. You bring the expertise on your issue, and Sandra will bring (the condoms) her sharp strategic mind (and juicy boo-tay) and national experience (after humping dudes nationwide).
Fluke recently graduated cum laude (I bet she did!) from Georgetown University Law Center as a Public Interest Law Scholar with a Certificate in Refugee and Humanitarian Emergencies. She also possesses huge tracts of land to complete your motorboating experience!

Bidding is up to $270 for a hour with Fluke although nobody really needs more than two minutes. Former President Bill Clinton is currently leading all bidders….in fact, he’s the only bidder…but there’s six days still remaining to bid on a personal “strategy” (is that what they call it these days?) session with Fluke. Fluke is just back from a parking lot engagement with 10 fans in Reno in the back alley behind the Walmart on Highway 7.

What would you bid for a hour to get Fluked?

 

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» 19 Comments

  1. Diann

    November 30th, 2012

    Only if I get my shots first.

    Thumb up +5

     
  2. Milwaukee Mike

    November 30th, 2012

    I believe that any bid would include my soul; so, no thanks!

    Thumb up +4

     
  3. pdwalker

    November 30th, 2012

    C’mon people, up the bid! Her expensive birth control doesn’t pay for itself, ya know!

    Thumb up +2

     
  4. Dr Tar

    November 30th, 2012

    I’ll take a pass on that. I’d rather do any of these dumb things than spend an hour with The Fluke.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jwDumb Ways to Die (I’ve been waiting all morning for an excuse to link this one. Watch it, its edutaining.)

    Thumb up +2

     
  5. lamchops

    November 30th, 2012

    Second prize is two hours with her.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +16

     
  6. even steven

    November 30th, 2012

    I bid some pocket lint, a used Bandaid, and part of a styrofoam coffee cup. I hope I win.

    Thumb up +3

     
  7. Callmelennie

    November 30th, 2012

    (With all due apologies to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terell)

    Listen, Furskie
    Ain’t no Bali Hi
    Ain’t no Cuervo Gold
    No way to get high enough Furskie

    If she tries call me
    I’ll hop into my car
    And drive to Dakar
    (You know I will scurry)

    If she calls my name
    I’ll light out in a hurry
    Like a rat I will scurry

    Cause Furskie, there
    Ain’t no voltage high enough
    Ain’t no shotgun big enough
    Ain’t no dark threat dire enough
    To get me to stick it to Fluke

    Thumb up +1

     
  8. Reg

    November 30th, 2012

    I’ll bid a dollar. But, only if I get to bring a Louisville Slugger!

    Thumb up +3

     
  9. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    November 30th, 2012

    Las’ time I paid fo’ it it cos’ fi’ dollah fo’ de ass an’ two dollah fo’ de room.

    Thumb up +1

     
  10. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    November 30th, 2012

    @ Diann – But has SHE had HER shots?

    Thumb up +1

     
  11. Tim

    November 30th, 2012

    I’ll bid 1 (one) Canadian Quarter (20% of my wealth) if I never have to hear of her again.

    Thumb up +3

     
  12. Xavier

    November 30th, 2012

    “Sandra Fluke is selling an hour of her time to the highest bidder”

    Slut.

    Thumb up +3

     
  13. not a penny

    November 30th, 2012

    #OneHourFlukenOff

    Thumb up +1

     
  14. Dr Tar

    November 30th, 2012

    Looks like you’ll have to out bid The Daily Caller and Breitbart for time with The Flukester.

    http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/conservative-sites-in-apparent-bidding-war-for-tim

    There hasn’t been a new bid in two days and its only up to $270.00.

    http://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/B4GItem.action?id=184126252&s_icid=slider1_1

    Note the Disclaimer:

    Advice session will take place by phone or Skype at a mutually convenient time. The item is one session of up to one hour.

    She’s not going to visit you in person, she’s going to do it over the phone.

    Thumb up +2

     
  15. 1389AD

    November 30th, 2012

    @Xavier,

    Sorry to be a nitpicker, but…

    A slut is a female who gives it away for free.

    A ho is a female who requests money for it.

    Thumb up +2

     
  16. Xavier

    November 30th, 2012

    @1389AD

    Point taken. I was trying to give a nod to El Rushbo.

    Thumb up +1

     
  17. Rick

    November 30th, 2012

    One last desperate attempt to generate revenue before fading into obscurity.

    Sweetie, you’ve been used and discarded; you’ve served your purpose. Say hello to Cindy Sheehan for us.

    Thumb up +4

     
  18. Corona

    November 30th, 2012

    “Say hello to Cindy Sheehan for us.”
    I swear to God I was just about to post that. ;)

    Thumb up +1

     
  19. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    November 30th, 2012

    @ Xavier and 1389AD- That’s not what I heard:

    A ho is a woman who will do it with anybody

    A slut is a woman who will do it with anybody but YOU

    Thumb up 0