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WANT AN HOUR WITH SANDRA FLUKE?
Noted slut and Democrat idol Sandra Fluke is selling an hour of her time to the highest bidder. Government provided condoms included. Antibiotics are not. Fluke became infamous for testifying she likes having sex with a lot of people and it is the taxpayer’s responsibility to provide her with an ample supply of birth control. To keep Fluke from procreating, AWD believes paying for hundreds of condoms weekly is a wise investment.
Now, Fluke appears to be moving from slut to whore-lady status. She’s currently selling her time off to the highest bidder. On Biddingforgood.com (Biddingforagoodtime.com), Fluke is selling a one hour “strategy session” to some horny guy too ugly to reel in the biscuit without a handful of cash American. The ad says:
Got a fantastic idea for a campaign (yeah baybah, I got a fantastic idea for a campaign!) but not sure where to start (Oh yeah, I know just where to start!)? Wondering how you can use the tools of activism (yeah, I got a big tool for you right here!) to make your project the most effective it can be? Social justice advocate (noted slut and now whore-lady) Sandra Fluke will help you harness the power (oh yeah…harness the power over here!) of activism and/or advocacy with this strategy session. You bring the expertise on your issue, and Sandra will bring (the condoms) her sharp strategic mind (and juicy boo-tay) and national experience (after humping dudes nationwide).
Fluke recently graduated cum laude (I bet she did!) from Georgetown University Law Center as a Public Interest Law Scholar with a Certificate in Refugee and Humanitarian Emergencies. She also possesses huge tracts of land to complete your motorboating experience!
Bidding is up to $270 for a hour with Fluke although nobody really needs more than two minutes. Former President Bill Clinton is currently leading all bidders….in fact, he’s the only bidder…but there’s six days still remaining to bid on a personal “strategy” (is that what they call it these days?) session with Fluke. Fluke is just back from a parking lot engagement with 10 fans in Reno in the back alley behind the Walmart on Highway 7.
What would you bid for a hour to get Fluked?
Diann
November 30th, 2012
Only if I get my shots first.
Milwaukee Mike
November 30th, 2012
I believe that any bid would include my soul; so, no thanks!
pdwalker
November 30th, 2012
C’mon people, up the bid! Her expensive birth control doesn’t pay for itself, ya know!
Dr Tar
November 30th, 2012
I’ll take a pass on that. I’d rather do any of these dumb things than spend an hour with The Fluke.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IJNR2EpS0jwDumb Ways to Die (I’ve been waiting all morning for an excuse to link this one. Watch it, its edutaining.)
lamchops
November 30th, 2012
Second prize is two hours with her.
even steven
November 30th, 2012
I bid some pocket lint, a used Bandaid, and part of a styrofoam coffee cup. I hope I win.
Callmelennie
November 30th, 2012
(With all due apologies to Marvin Gaye and Tammi Terell)
Listen, Furskie
Ain’t no Bali Hi
Ain’t no Cuervo Gold
No way to get high enough Furskie
If she tries call me
I’ll hop into my car
And drive to Dakar
(You know I will scurry)
If she calls my name
I’ll light out in a hurry
Like a rat I will scurry
Cause Furskie, there
Ain’t no voltage high enough
Ain’t no shotgun big enough
Ain’t no dark threat dire enough
To get me to stick it to Fluke
Reg
November 30th, 2012
I’ll bid a dollar. But, only if I get to bring a Louisville Slugger!
Boobie the Rocket Dog
November 30th, 2012
Las’ time I paid fo’ it it cos’ fi’ dollah fo’ de ass an’ two dollah fo’ de room.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
November 30th, 2012
@ Diann – But has SHE had HER shots?
Tim
November 30th, 2012
I’ll bid 1 (one) Canadian Quarter (20% of my wealth) if I never have to hear of her again.
Xavier
November 30th, 2012
“Sandra Fluke is selling an hour of her time to the highest bidder”
Slut.
not a penny
November 30th, 2012
#OneHourFlukenOff
Dr Tar
November 30th, 2012
Looks like you’ll have to out bid The Daily Caller and Breitbart for time with The Flukester.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/mckaycoppins/conservative-sites-in-apparent-bidding-war-for-tim
There hasn’t been a new bid in two days and its only up to $270.00.
http://www.biddingforgood.com/auction/item/B4GItem.action?id=184126252&s_icid=slider1_1
Note the Disclaimer:
Advice session will take place by phone or Skype at a mutually convenient time. The item is one session of up to one hour.
She’s not going to visit you in person, she’s going to do it over the phone.
1389AD
November 30th, 2012
@Xavier,
Sorry to be a nitpicker, but…
A slut is a female who gives it away for free.
A ho is a female who requests money for it.
Xavier
November 30th, 2012
@1389AD
Point taken. I was trying to give a nod to El Rushbo.
Rick
November 30th, 2012
One last desperate attempt to generate revenue before fading into obscurity.
Sweetie, you’ve been used and discarded; you’ve served your purpose. Say hello to Cindy Sheehan for us.
Corona
November 30th, 2012
“Say hello to Cindy Sheehan for us.”
I swear to God I was just about to post that.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
November 30th, 2012
@ Xavier and 1389AD- That’s not what I heard:
A ho is a woman who will do it with anybody
A slut is a woman who will do it with anybody but YOU