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Time Editors Hoping To Get Fluked

Home - by - November 28, 2012 - 18:00 America/New_York - 13 Comments

Big Hairy News

NEW YORK (BHN) – Time magazine has nominated celebrated hosehound Sandra Fluke as a finalist for 2012 Person of the Year.

Fluke is the Georgetown Law School student who testified before Congress about the desperate need for taxpayers to pay for the thousands of dollars of contraceptives she said she requires every year.

One Time insider says most of their editors have “probably never” had sex, and see Fluke’s nomination as their best chance of getting her to visit their office. “While not their first choice, some of these guys are so horny even the crack of dawn isn’t safe – she’ll do in a pinch,” said the employee.

 

Sandra Fluke Time Magazine

 

 

» 13 Comments

  1. Mark Zist

    November 28th, 2012

    Time is about to get “Newsweeked”

    Thumb up +4

     
  2. MAJ Mike

    November 28th, 2012

    We are sooooo fluked.

    Thumb up +1

     
  3. Unneutral

    November 28th, 2012

    They certainly have a low threshold.

    Thumb up +3

     
  4. Moe tom

    November 28th, 2012

    “even the crack of dawn isn’t safe.” LMAO. Greyscape? Are you……naw,,, couldn’t be.

    Thumb up +3

     
  5. Johnny Pickleduster

    November 28th, 2012

    She has the shape and features of a worn out plough horse.

    Any so-called man who would ever pork this dead eyed sow is definitely a closeted homo.

    Thumb up +1

     
  6. OzarksAbe

    November 28th, 2012

    Fluke did not testify before Congress. She made a presentation before liberals at the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee.

    Thumb up +6

     
  7. Pubert

    November 28th, 2012

    I’m still trying to figure out why a lesbian even
    needs contraceptives..

    Thumb up +1

     
  8. Dano

    November 28th, 2012

    Put her on the cover of Hustler Magazine. Much more APPROPRIATE!

    Thumb up +1

     
  9. jmikehay

    November 28th, 2012

    what the hell is wrong with my country, i am so angry!!!!

    Thumb up +1

     
  10. mossberg12gal

    November 28th, 2012

    ya know, just when i let myself breathe a sigh of relief that we must have finally hit bottom, yet another shit-stupid revelation comes along, indicating that we still have a ways to go…seems like the bottomless barrel of crap we are just gonna hafta endure…

    Thumb up +1

     
  11. JDavid

    November 28th, 2012

    A guy would need to tie a board to his ass before climbing on that ride.

    Thumb up 0

     
  12. FreeMan & Sarah Intend to Defend

    November 28th, 2012

    Maybe Time can include a few rubbers for the cause.

    Thumb up +1

     
  13. Troy

    November 28th, 2012

    I would gladly contribute large sums to the legal defense fund of anyone who would punch that ignorant scrunt in that smug jaw.
    GO AWAY BITCH!

    Thumb up 0