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Voting For Obama Keeps Families Away From Each Other For Thanksgiving
President Obama. Seen here touching himself
WASHINGTON (AP) — Ah, Thanksgiving. A little turkey, some cranberry mold, maybe apple pie with ice cream, some football on TV. Getting together with the cousins. Catching up beside the fire. Togetherness.
On second thought: Scratch that. What were we thinking? This was an election year.
“The Thanksgiving table will be a battleground,” says Andrew Marshall, 34, of Quincy, Mass.
Like many extended families across the country, Marshall’s includes Democrats and Republicans, conservatives, liberals and independents. And so, like many families that count both red and blue voters in their ranks, they’re expecting fireworks. Things had already gotten so bad on Facebook, the family had to ban political banter.
“It was getting brutal,” says Marshall.
And now, it will all play out in person. In this family, the older generation is more liberal, the younger more conservative. So Andrew, a conservative, particularly expects friction with his aunt, Anne Brennan, 57. “She firmly believes in what she believes in, and we’ll go head to head with it,” he says.
As for Brennan, she’s looking on the bright side: the wine they’ll drink. “You always bring a good bottle,” she told Andrew at a family dinner a few days ago — perhaps softening him up for the holiday. No dice. “What are you talking about?” Andrew replied. “The wine just amplifies it.”
Mr.Gates
November 22nd, 2012
I want peace in my home on the holidays. There will be no Obama voters in the house on Thanksgiving or Christmas. Family or not. I have actually dis-invited people because their presence would be too disruptive. Furthermore, when they ask me for help, as is often the case, I plan to tell them to call the government. Anyone so happy to make my family’s future so much more difficult, gets no more of my valuable time working on their problems.
A.Men
November 22nd, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving to all American Conservatives who are grateful for the wonderful U.S.A.
even steven
November 22nd, 2012
Happy Thanksgiving, iOTW “family”! If you have insufferable lefty relatives invading your home today, I feel for you. I cut mine off years ago, but that was easy, since they’ve been rude and nasty to me my whole life anyway. They suck. Good riddance, and for that, I’m truly thankful.
Johnny Pickleduster
November 22nd, 2012
By all means invite your liberal relatives to Thanksgiving dinner and then serve serve them the asshole of the Turkey. Remember they voted democrat which means they voted for Communism.
old_oaks
November 22nd, 2012
Unfortunately I don’t seem to attract many liberals, so they’re in short supply around here.
But I’d suggest engaging them as they’d like to be treated. For example, assign tables or seats accordingly so the liberals are last to be served or receive a passed plate. Or when something is served whole like a slice of pie, cut the liberal’s slice visibly short on the end, like a 4 sided triangle!
Carlos The Jackal
November 22nd, 2012
He’s got one thing right: The Whine definitely amplifies it!
chiefillinicake
November 22nd, 2012
You have to make it interesting for yourself to have them around. I like to do little things to amuse myself to relieve the frustration of having to deal with them. For instance, one suggestion that is particularly satisfying, in my experience, is stirring their cocktail with my dick.
even steven
November 22nd, 2012
@chief… I wasn’t expecting that last line. Hilarious!
Bob M.
November 22nd, 2012
On the bright side, Obama gave the traditional Thanksgiving pardon to Biden, yet again. HE’S safe for another year…
Adrienne
November 22nd, 2012
@ evan steven – You said: ” I cut mine off years ago, but that was easy, since they’ve been rude and nasty to me my whole life anyway. They suck. Good riddance, and for that, I’m truly thankful.”
Amen to that! I finally shed myself of my pathologically narcissistic brother after a lifetime of abuse. Horrible person. Reminds me of Obama.
There are something like 7.6 billion people on the face of the earth. I can pretty picky about who I spend time with. Being “family” doesn’t give you a free pass.
chiefillinicake
November 22nd, 2012
The toxic narcissist brother. The gift that keeps on giving. Or should say TAKING?
Mountain Dog
November 22nd, 2012
If anybody in my family voted for 0bama I would have heard about them being disowned by now. I think we are all still together.
If you have any 0bama voters in your family, do them a big favor and organize an intervention, get them some help before it is too late.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Dagny
November 22nd, 2012
Via Drudge :
” turkey pardoned by President Obama last Thanksgiving, euthanized”
http://www.wptv.com/dpp/news/national/peace-turkey-pardoned-by-president-obama-last-thanksgiving-euthanized