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Of Course Tom Cruise Won’t Press Charges Against These Sexy Eyes, He’s Not An Animal
On Sunday night, male model Jason Sullivan (above) got shithammered drunk and attempted to return home to Tom Cruise‘s neighbor house where he’s been staying. And by attempted I mean he accidentally tried to enter the Fortress of Xenu where this pretty much happened: “Seriously, dudes, I totally live here, why are you being dick- eh, fuck it, I’ll just climb the wall – ZZZZAPPPPP!!!” TMZ reports:
Tom’s security told Jason to leave, but instead he tried scaling the privacy wall to get further into Tom’s property. Jason began walking toward Tom’s house and was warned he would be tased if he continued. When Jason kept walking, he was tased twice.
Jason was arrested, cited for misdemeanor trespassing and released.
Menderman
November 1st, 2012
OK.
See my comment on the Kelsey Grammer thread.
Mr. Happy
November 1st, 2012
“shithammered drunk”
I like the term!
What am I doing wrong with my life that I have never gotten that screaming drunk?
Believe me, I have tried!
I can never get past the puking in the toilet stage, and then going to bed.
Please help me IOTW commenters.
ACME avatar tester
November 1st, 2012
Scientology is just islam for queers.
Bad Brad
November 1st, 2012
So one FAG, tried to break into anther FAGS home, Even though the party of the first part of the first fag didn’t own the FAG parlor he were trying break into.
I wouldn’t trade a whole heard of these ass bites for the two seals the just got hung out and killed by jug ears. Fuck these pretty boy clowns we shouldn’t be talking about them.
Menderman
November 1st, 2012
Practice Mr. Happy, practice.
Mary Jane Anklestraps
November 1st, 2012
They both knew why he was there, they just got caught. lol
Mary Jane Anklestraps
November 1st, 2012
THIS:
“he most amazing part? Tom Cruise is surprisingly cool about the whole thing:
Tom’s lawyer, Bert Fields, tells TMZ, “Tom’s not a vindictive guy,” adding, “The guy was drunk. He didn’t have a malicious intent.”
“Not a vindictive guy?” Are we talking about the same Tom Cruise? Because the Tom Cruise I know would sue a gnat if it so much as blinked the word “gay” at him. “
Anonymous
November 1st, 2012
2 words for Mr. Happy: joose bag
PS Tom know tazing tightens up the sphincter.
CrustyB
November 1st, 2012
If Tom Cruise doesn’t take it to the hair then I’m Raquel Welch.
Nutjob
November 1st, 2012
If had just joined scientology and paid his dues, he’d still be in bed with xenu.
Bad Brad
November 2nd, 2012
Fucking pretty boys. Bring both by work between 10:00 ND 10:15. I’ll destroy both inside 2 minutes. Why 2 minutes. After that my air gone, I’m getting old. Won’t be a problem, FAGS.
Tony R
November 2nd, 2012
And by FAG, you mean Film Actors Guild?
Bad Brad
November 2nd, 2012
Tony R. You got it Bro. Please just two at a time or I gotta start doing aerobics again. Done to much of that at an early age. My idea of aerobics these days is driving over 10 miles. It’s tougher than it sounds.
old_oaks
November 2nd, 2012
Is this the dude that was banging a metal pole on a clothes hanger rack thing?
Chalupa
November 2nd, 2012
He just wanted to jump on Tom’s couch….again….
Bad Brad
November 2nd, 2012
Bottom line. They are irrelevant in the grand scheme.
Ya sure
November 2nd, 2012
As long as all this goes down in Californieheecostan, I’m good.
Mz McHorsey
November 2nd, 2012
Cruiser was just po’ed because the dude couldnt get it up with a crane….and Cruiser doesn’t like limp up his hoohaah…wont stay, wont go in, wont spit at his manp….y… dont know why he backs Oboobie? like two cats bumping in the night, both NOT TOMS….
Mz McHorsey
November 2nd, 2012
A dating service should set up Cruiser with Algoquin Gore…..there you have a match made in HELL.