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Home - by - October 30, 2012 - 20:02 America/New_York - 85 Comments

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  1. Captiva

    October 30th, 2012

    Joe Biden makes malarkey in his adult diaper.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +33

     
  2. Jeffersonian

    October 30th, 2012

    Reins? Who needs reins when he’s got ears like flapjacks?

    Thumb up +8

     
  3. gorgo

    October 30th, 2012

    My name is Bill.

    Thumb up +4

     
  4. serfer62

    October 30th, 2012

    So I held thos clean, articulate jug ears like this, and I…

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  5. Stirrin the B.S.

    October 30th, 2012

    “You want a piece of me? Ok, c’mon tough guy, give me best shot!”

    Thumb up +3

     
  6. gorgo

    October 30th, 2012

    Romney’s ahead?

    FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!

    Thumb up +3

     
  7. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    October 30th, 2012

    These cuffs are too damn tight! Do you know who I am? I’m the f_ckin’ VICE f_ckin’ PRESIDENT! Turn me loose or I’ll have your badges!!

    Thumb up +3

     
  8. Piker

    October 30th, 2012

    I’ll fight any woman in the joint!…

    Thumb up +5

     
  9. old_oaks

    October 30th, 2012

    I just sharted, I think.

    Thumb up +3

     
  10. old_oaks

    October 30th, 2012

    Fffffucking Big Time!

    Thumb up +2

     
  11. moarkdave

    October 30th, 2012

    If I hold my head just right the light goes in one ear and out the other.

    Thumb up +2

     
  12. gorgo

    October 30th, 2012

    Teddy and Dodd liked their waitress sammiches but I tell ya what, me and Barack have what we call the Reggie Love Pita. I grab ‘holt of them clean, articulate buttcheeks and…well, I don’t need to tell you folks here in Louisville how it’s done, now do I!

    CLEVELAND, sorry, I meant Cleavland, oh God, Joe, what’d you say now…

    Y’know, I had Hillary and Michelle lay one of your steamers on me in the Hamptons one weekend…

    Thumb up +4

     
  13. Ferny

    October 30th, 2012

    Givin’ POTUS all 3 inches!

    Thumb up +3

     
  14. Bad Brad

    October 30th, 2012

    I didn’t get a harumph outa that guy!

    Thumb up +5

     
  15. Ohadi84

    October 30th, 2012

    I just did number 1 and 2, jackpot!

    Thumb up +3

     
  16. grayscape

    October 30th, 2012

    “I thought she would fight fair but the old bag cock-punched me in the nutsack…”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     
  17. MAJ Mike

    October 30th, 2012

    Ain’t nothin’ “silent, but deadly” ’bout that one. That there’s a beefy one!! Betcha ol’ Mittens can’t cut one like that!!!

    Thumb up +5

     
  18. 66chevelle

    October 30th, 2012

    “So there I was over Hanoi, the SAM comin’ at me like a telephone pole from hell, and I haul the yoke back like this…”

    Thumb up +7

     
  19. Maudie N Mandeville

    October 30th, 2012

    Dainty fists of fury.

    Thumb up +3

     
  20. badaussie

    October 30th, 2012

    If i only had q balls!

    Thumb up +5

     
  21. Maudie N Mandeville

    October 30th, 2012

    “If one of those black or Hispanic babies makes it out of the womb alive, it’s mine!!”

    Thumb up +2

     
  22. Anonymous

    October 30th, 2012

    and then I grabbed the wheel of my kiddie Car and turned hard to the left, narrowly missing that lemonade stand…. and I have been turing hard to the left every since!

    Thumb up +1

     
  23. Corny

    October 30th, 2012

    I’m Charly!

    Thumb up +2

     
  24. Unruly Refugee

    October 30th, 2012

    Fruit Loops are just Gay Cheerios

    Thumb up +6

     
  25. Unneutral

    October 30th, 2012

    Guess which hand my brain is in?!?!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  26. Cuzin Brucie

    October 30th, 2012

    I can be a rough, tough Dick Cheney, too, if I want to be. (meow)

    Thumb up +1

     
  27. Harleybob

    October 30th, 2012

    Farruck!

    Thumb up +2

     
  28. Jethro

    October 30th, 2012

    ROMNEYYYYY!
    (Picture Jerry Seinfeld saying NEWMANNNNN!)

    Power is back on! No damage!

    Thumb up +6

     
  29. even steven

    October 30th, 2012

    The Chicken Dance is a big f@#%ing deal.

    Thumb up +2

     
  30. Cuzin Brucie

    October 30th, 2012

    Aw jeezez, I’m constipated again. Growing old really sucks.

    Thumb up +1

     
  31. Moe tom

    October 30th, 2012

    And I grabbed the fu*ker and told him, look man, I have a higher IQ than you man.

    Thumb up +3

     
  32. TN Tuxedo

    October 30th, 2012

    “Aw, jeez… That tooth’s throbbin’ again. Hope I can get it fixed before ObamaCare kicks in…”

    Thumb up +1

     
  33. TN Tuxedo

    October 30th, 2012

    “And if Romney wins, so help me, I’m gonna choke him with this cellphone cord!”

    Thumb up +3

     
  34. Moe tom

    October 30th, 2012

    And I was freakin’ mad, an’ I say to the old man, Charlie, I think, Charlie did your kid always have balls like cue balls? And I meant it. literally not figureativly.

    Thumb up +2

     
  35. HERBERT HILL

    October 30th, 2012

    Invisible turkey legs.

    Thumb up +2

     
  36. SgtZim

    October 30th, 2012

    Im a perp my derp in yer gerp.

    Thumb up +2

     
  37. Unruly Refugee

    October 30th, 2012

    Yeah I understand now that I was only supposed to crap in one hand, but how in the hell am I supposed to wish in the other?

    Thumb up +3

     
  38. Mohammed's pink swastika

    October 30th, 2012

    ANAL CRAMP!!!

    Thumb up +1

     
  39. mizdoolally

    October 30th, 2012

    Oh, where the fugarewe!

    Thumb up +2

     
  40. old glory

    October 30th, 2012

    I thought this was the little boys room, not the concession announcement.

    Thumb up +1

     
  41. GI-had Joe

    October 30th, 2012

    Put ‘em up, put ‘em up! Which one of you first? I’ll fight you both together if you want. I’ll fight you with one paw tied behind my back. I’ll fight you standing on one foot. I’ll fight you with my eyes closed… ohh, pullin’ an axe on me, eh? Sneaking up on me, eh? Why, I’ll… Ruff! With apologies to the Cowardly Lion.

    Thumb up +6

     
  42. KMM

    October 30th, 2012

    Eh~ Sexy lady
    Op op op op oppan Gangnam Style
    Eh~ Sexy lady
    Op op op op
    Eh eh eh eh eh eh

    Thumb up +2

     
  43. Wyatt, Insensitive Progressive Jerk

    October 30th, 2012

    They can have my multiple ballots when they pry them from my cold, dead hands.

    Thumb up +6

     
  44. Ricky

    October 30th, 2012

    If I get re-elected..this is how I’m gonna fuck the country..
    I can’t believe dip-shit Biden is flying into my town tomorrow..the Secret Service has already landed their C-17 cargo plane for that jerk-off.

    Thumb up +3

     
  45. Houston

    October 30th, 2012

    Sorry to hear that Ricky. Your comment made me thank God again that I live in Dallas and they won’t waste their time here.

    I’m still trying to figure out why I see Obama commercials. I assume its because they are national because there’s no winning for them down here.

    Thumb up +3

     
  46. Gary

    October 30th, 2012

    Who said I was a tight ass??!!! I’ll show ‘em. Get a good wiff of this one!!!!

    Thumb up +1

     
  47. Sid

    October 30th, 2012

    Faaaarrrrttttt, literally, faaaarrrrtttt!

    Thumb up +1

     
  48. Genl Ripper

    October 30th, 2012

    “Vroom! Vroom! Look! I can dwive a caw! Ahm not wetawded!”

    Thumb up +2

     
  49. Biff Tannen

    October 30th, 2012

    Chuck, I thought I told you to stand up. Don’t make me drag you out of the chair.

    Thumb up +2

     
  50. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So then I told them Tareyton cigarette people “I’d rather fight then switch to thinking”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  51. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    iggy pop video

    Thumb up +1

     
  52. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    iggy pop video “lust for life” I drive a GTO.

    Thumb up +2

     
  53. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So then I started really whooping Ali in that fight you people probably heard of called “Thrilla in Manilla”, it was there that I decided to become the fighter that I am.

    Thumb up +2

     
  54. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    Saying I have intelect is fighting words.

    Thumb up +2

     
  55. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I grabbed this kid and said “how can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat”

    Thumb up +2

     
  56. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So then Barack the Kenyan wonder looks over at Michelle and yells “Adrianne”

    Thumb up +1

     
  57. George

    October 31st, 2012

    My tricycle is stuck in the mud

    Thumb up +2

     
  58. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So the Black panthers grabbed the old lady and said, “you’d better vote for Barry if you know whats good for you”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  59. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So then I grabbed the man at the Bosley hair transpant institute and said “What do you mean this isn’t covered under Obamacare”?

    “They call me plugs for a reason, don’t make me show you why”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  60. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So then I grabbed the dirty Jew and said “Don’t make me send the muslim brotherhood after yo ass, Baracks just itching to give them muzzies some more of your money to wreak havoc on you filthy jews.”

    “So send him the campaign money or else”!

    Thumb up +2

     
  61. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So my 10th grade teacher said “show me with your fingers how much is 3 + 2″.

    So aftershowing her none, I then explained that this has got to be a trick question”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  62. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I told George Bush “If you try running for president again, I’m going to whoop you Joe Biden style”, “it must’ve worked because he didn’t try running again”.

    Thumb up +3

     
  63. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    After a hard day at the office I like playing “which hand is it in with myself?”

    Thumb up +2

     
  64. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I leaned back and said to the limo driver “where would you like me to take you?”

    Thumb up +2

     
  65. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So when my kung fu master ask me little grasshopper Biden to take the pebble from his hand I immediately said, “What hand is it in and this is a trick question isn’t it confuscious?”

    Thumb up +2

     
  66. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I told Barack “you call me mr. Veepee again and we’re going fist-to-cuffs”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  67. Davide

    October 31st, 2012

    damn I gotta stop eating rice and bananas, someone get me some prune juice, when I get that log out it’s gonna be a big f*ckin deal

    Thumb up +1

     
  68. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I said to my union friend at the funeral, if this dead guy doesn’t vote for Barack I’m going to sock him with a right and then a left”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  69. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I grabbed the UN observer and said “what do you mean you want live ammo to protect innocent civilians and women from rape”?

    Thumb up +3

     
  70. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I grabbed the CBO official and said, “what do you mean 490,000 new applicants filed for unemployment and only 120,000 jobs were created, don’t you understand basic math on why unemployment should officially be at 4%?”

    Thumb up +3

     
  71. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    So I grabbed the embassy guy at Libya and said, “its called Libya for a reason, because they are liberals and they love us, so hell no to extra security”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  72. Hillman

    October 31st, 2012

    Someone wipe my ass and turn on the cartoons.

    Thumb up +2

     
  73. Nutjob

    October 31st, 2012

    Knowing this was a trick question I immediately asked which 1 is the right hand?”

    Thumb up +2

     
  74. AnarchyNow

    October 31st, 2012

    And I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids…

    With appologies to Scooby Doo!

    Thumb up +1

     
  75. Abby Normal Dude

    October 31st, 2012

    Oh-oh that wasn’t a fart

    Thumb up +2

     
  76. Anonymous

    October 31st, 2012

    These Depends are Great! I can just let ‘er rip!

    Thumb up +2

     
  77. Necrophidius

    October 31st, 2012

    My fart smells like brain!

    Thumb up +2

     
  78. demonrat dave

    October 31st, 2012

    I know my ass is back there someplace-or is that a hole in the ground?

    Thumb up +2

     
  79. HardyBrooks

    October 31st, 2012

    I made optimal doody,YYYYYYYEEEEAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Thumb up +1

     
  80. Nick

    October 31st, 2012

    God Elton, that hurts!

    Thumb up +1

     
  81. Tim

    October 31st, 2012

    “I am Sam …
    errrrr … uhhhhh … Joe!”

    Thumb up 0

     
  82. Tim

    October 31st, 2012

    “Matt Damon said I smart! Can I have Matt’s cookie?”

    Thumb up +1

     
  83. Cuzin Brucie

    October 31st, 2012

    Joe says, “If nutjob posts one more, I think I’ll scream! Argh!”

    Thumb up 0

     
  84. insolublog

    October 31st, 2012

    “As they say in my business, I’m going to give you the whole load today… And here it comes!”

    Thumb up 0

     
  85. Barf O'BiteMe

    October 31st, 2012

    So I sits my ass on the john and go into my my two fisted stance, call a press conference and tell the WH press corpse:

    ‘I’m Going to Give You the Whole Load Today’

    Then I gave them this week’s jobs report, and man oh man did it STINK!!!

    Thumb up +1