Home - by Cardigan - October 5, 2012 - 22:03 America/New_York - 128 Comments
October 5th, 2012
Anybody here deciding to vote for Romney instead?
Still thinking about my Big Fat Fucked Up 20th anniversary night…
scribble. Bwaahhaa, I can’t top that.
This man said I had a big ass!
Who else is in the crowd is not proud to be an american?
I'm Your Huckleberry
”okay, ok…it was me…I let one rip”
Who here votes multiple times?
Raise your hand if you think you’re better off today then you were 4 years ago!
Who here can vouch the president supports gay rights because he’s gay?.
Check please! I like the dainty pursed lips but he’ll never be the flamer my husband is.
I’m your wife dipshit, why you call this white dude sweetheart?
Who here hates white people who adore and admire you because of white fright and white guilt?
“Can I have Bill Ayers call in a life line?”
Who has ever had unprotected sex with a promiscuous gay man and had to sweat it out waiting for the HIV test results?
Excuse me! The queen has to pee. You pedestrians can all take a break.
Who here knows my unemployment numbers are bullshit?
Timeout timeout… Barry needs an enema.
Hey! Mr. Lehrer….
Can we have a re-do?
Who here thinks Romneys plan is better then mine?
Look at the size of that hand! I bet she can easily palm a basketball….
“Anyone here think I’m a narcissistic asshole?”
dapenguin in OIHO
Who here is ready to stop this madness right now and head to ther multi million dollar home in Hawaii
Raise your hand if you think that working taxpayers and government should take care of you.
Raise your hand if your promise to stick it too the American Taxpayers for as much bling and trips as you can during the rest of this lame duck presidency
Anyone else think Taco Bell’s a good place to take your wife on your anniversary?
“Oh, WAITER! We need some service over here.”
Carlos The Jackal
“This is embarassing. May I be excused?”
The Tamale Grand Rancho?
Down here Pepe.
And as a bonus, we have a new product that will remove hair from the knuckles of an ape ….
Anyone know why he said we won’t be spending our next anniversary with so little privacy?
Raise your hand if you think Joe Biden is as smart as the average democrat.
Would anyone like to get in a few bitch-slaps on ‘Bammy now that the “Massachusetts Mauler” has tenderized him?
If you just watched your husband’s career bite the dust and you shit your drawers, raise your hand.
eternal cracker p
Where do I get one of them christina aguilera broads?
Anyone from Chicago know why the 47% will always vote for me?
Who here belongs with this know-nothing clown on stage?
Anyone here have proof I wasn’t born in america besides my dead grandparents who suddenly died before the election?
Ummm, the math here is hard…is it recess yet?
Who would like a leading role in our next season of Hogs Gone Wild?
Who here thinks I did a wonderful job scamming taxpayers payer money while doing nothing for the inner cities ghetto fools?
That clown thing busted me up !!! lol
Does anybody know when someone will be paying for my next vacation?
Raise your hand if you think being a public community organizer qualifies you to make private business decisions.
The royal wave.
Yes, Mr Moderator……………..I have an opposing thumb…………..
Excuse me!!! I’d like to call a mulligan.
Anyone here sitting next to a gay white fright activists democratic voter?
The question was given:
“Michelle, raise your left hand.”
Alright that’s about enough. Who’s the joker who threw the shit stained panties on the stage?
WHo here says they eat healthy but has a ghetto booty to prove otherwise?
Who here believes in Big Bird?
Who has bigger nutsack than their husband?
♫ ALL YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS PUT YOUR HANDS UP!! ♫
thump.. boooom.. rah.. rattling bolts.
Who in the crowd was sired by Chewbacca?
Is there anybody in the audience who can recite Sura 47:4 from the holy koran and apply it to what just happened here tonight?
Anyone know why I can’t debate or carry out a complete sentence on my own without a tele-prompter?
Anyone know the real truth on why everything is always a republican or Bushs fault?
“Uh, this white cracker just passed gas on me!”
Raise your hand if you’re no longer proud of your country.
Raise your hand if you think Jimmy Carter is now the runner-up for worst president ever.
Who else loves and lives by the Koran?
Anyone else besides me been to all 57 states?
Does anyone have some speed for Barry?
Who here has bore the spawn of the devil?
Raise your hand if your unemployed and living on the taxpayer dime.
Mrs. Obama…How many times did you actually catch Barry and Reggie going down the Hershey highway with each other?
Raise your hand if you think muslims love america or americans.
Chuck U Farley
For the first time in my life I am truly embarrassed to be married to this Kenyan.
Who else thinks I act stupidly as a president.
Who here at this DNC/Media event would not lay down their life for our saviour Barrack?
Who else knows what a corpsemen is?
Oh Secret Service Man. I have creepy honkie next to me. Do something about it.
Anyone here think Goofey Joe Biden is smarter then me?
Excuse me. Waiter? I didn’t order the Cracker with White Bread.
See to it that you remove it immediately.
Raise your hand if you’re still getting foodstamps but get away with it because of your race.
Who here besides Holder carrys an official race card in their wallet?
Hey, Shit For Brains, send me a pee cup.
That’s right, a pee cup.
Don’t worry, I can do it standing up.
Who here loves practical jokes and loved flying airforce 1 over Manhatten with her friends to scare the shit out of the 9/11 crackers?
Raise your hand if you think you’ll be moving in January.
Who here thinks the media will cover for me on my illegal campaign donations by asking for Romneys W2′s….again?
INTERJECTION: NUTJOB, you are on FIRE!
“Yep, I’m the beard.”
Anyone else here hate jews?
Anyone around here hike up their pants halfway up their mid-section so they could “get away with” wearing an over coat that is 3x too small?
Raise your hand if your packing a pecker and have some gay fuck staring at you because he wants it.
Who else thinks the private sector is fine, but the public sector needs more stimulus money?
Would anyone here like a copy of Tipper’s new book entitled, “His Political Career is OVER! Finally I can DIVORCE this MORON!”
Who here needs a douche break?
Which American hasn’t Obama screwed in the last four years?
Um excuse me Mr Lerker, Barack needs to leave now. The kids just called and um the um ah They think they saw a burglar outside their window… Uh yeah, um they they sounded really frightened and they’re there at that big white house thingy all alone. I need Barack to get off the stage right NOW and ah come with me!!!
If Barack and I move out of the White House, do we have to notify the sheriff?
October 6th, 2012
Funnel cakes! Who wants funnel cakes?
Just had this note handed to me by Bill Clinton ….
it seems Hillary is looking for a date tonight …
In honor of Ronald Reagan we are going to do a little skit tonight entitled Bedtime For Bonzo, but we still need someone who can play the part of Bonzo.
99th Squad Leader
Is there a Wookie in the house?
“Hey Michelle, let me show you what a real man is like”
Barry! Barry! Walk over and put your hand in front of Romney’s face.
“Mrs. Obama, I don’t think he was calling you Sweetie.”
“My name is Michelle and I’m a foodaholic.”
Has anyone decided to change their vote after tonight’s debate? With a show of hands, how many came in prepared to vote for Obama?
OK with a show of hands, how many came in prepared to vote for Obama, but have decided to change their vote for Romney?
OK OK. Does anyone here know where I can get a good Burrito?
Who here is proud of their country AND their president?
Mary Jane Anklestraps
“Who ordered column A plus steamed rice from the menu this evening? “
Ax her to call me
Oh lawsie I done shit my bloomers , An this cracker here can smell it Shite ,Bawaa I wna go home to hawaii
Sorry to interrupt again, but the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile just delivered a crate of Bacon, Hot Dogs & Deli Meats for someone named Moochie ?
Michelle is giving a hand audible to Barry
(The 1-3-1 is the signal for Barry to start using his fake southern black preacher accent)
“Waiter, make that a Biggie size, it’s gonna be a long night.”
Who let the dogs out?
Ah, you did Michelle!
Boobie the Rocket Dog
“Oh, Mrs. O, don’t you look FABulous in that suit of mine. Aren’t you happy now that you dumped all those loser amateur black ‘designers’?”
Would the ugliest bitch in the world, please raise her hand?
Who needs help with their Geranimals every morning?
On another note, can you pick the silhouette of Michelle Obama?
Is there anybody, PLEASE, who knows how to get this asshole to stop stammering before I blow my fucking brains out?
Is there anybody here tonight who wishes they were back at their cushy no-show job at the University of Chicago Medical Center scamming the taxpayers dollars?
Before we start I’d like to know who the hell left the toilet seat up in the transgendered restroom.
Alright, who had the double cheeseburger with fries?
Sigh,,, I love you guys.
I know the answer…..it’s time for a vacation
Is this how you do that “Spock” thingy….?
Maudie N Mandeville
Those who believe Barack won the debate?
FreeMan & Sarah Voting Early & Often
Let me axe you a equestrian mr prezzy, I didn’t get a free phone.
Can I change seats? Nobody said I’d have to sit next to this cracker.
Pull My Finger
“Can I buy a vowel?”
“Yo! Hot dog man! Gimme three with everything. And a beer.”
I’ll bid 10 million taxpayers dollars for that trip to anywhere!
Pictured above: Michelle Obama trying to flag down what she thought was a passing hotdog vender at the first Presidential Debate. The person turnedout to be a crying Chris Matthews rushing to console his battered President. No word on whether Mrs. Obama ever got her hotdog – although commentors seem to think, based on the size of her ass, she probably had two or three.
“And it’s Brian with the assist!”
Lazy & Incarcerated
Valium, Prozac, Whiskey!
Get yer Valium, get yer Whiskey, get yer Prozac!
Tranquilizers, sedatives, suicide pills!
.38 snub-nose ….
October 8th, 2012
Cutting the Cheese, ChiTown style….. “so what if i pooped my panties? I wearing brown…ain’t I?”
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