iOwnTheWorld.com

scribble. Bwaahhaa, I can’t top that.

+7

This man said I had a big ass!

+9

Check please! I like the dainty pursed lips but he’ll never be the flamer my husband is.

+5

I’m your wife dipshit, why you call this white dude sweetheart?

+4

Who here hates white people who adore and admire you because of white fright and white guilt?

+6

Excuse me! The queen has to pee. You pedestrians can all take a break.

+6

Who here knows my unemployment numbers are bullshit?

+8

Timeout timeout… Barry needs an enema.

+7

Hey! Mr. Lehrer….
Can we have a re-do?

+6

Who here thinks Romneys plan is better then mine?

+4

Look at the size of that hand! I bet she can easily palm a basketball….

+6

Barry speaking:
“Anyone here think I’m a narcissistic asshole?”

+9

Raise your hand if you think that working taxpayers and government should take care of you.

+9

Raise your hand if your promise to stick it too the American Taxpayers for as much bling and trips as you can during the rest of this lame duck presidency

+9

Anyone else think Taco Bell’s a good place to take your wife on your anniversary?

+3

“Oh, WAITER! We need some service over here.”

+6

And as a bonus, we have a new product that will remove hair from the knuckles of an ape ….
anybody interested?

+4

Anyone know why he said we won’t be spending our next anniversary with so little privacy?

+3

Would anyone like to get in a few bitch-slaps on ‘Bammy now that the “Massachusetts Mauler” has tenderized him?

+6

Where do I get one of them christina aguilera broads?

+4

Anyone from Chicago know why the 47% will always vote for me?

+4

Moderator speaking:
Who here belongs with this know-nothing clown on stage?

+8

Anyone here have proof I wasn’t born in america besides my dead grandparents who suddenly died before the election?

+8

Ummm, the math here is hard…is it recess yet?

+2

Who would like a leading role in our next season of Hogs Gone Wild?

+5

Who here thinks I did a wonderful job scamming taxpayers payer money while doing nothing for the inner cities ghetto fools?

+4

@Jethro

That clown thing busted me up !!! lol

+3

Does anybody know when someone will be paying for my next vacation?

+3

Raise your hand if you think being a public community organizer qualifies you to make private business decisions.

+6

The royal wave.

+7

Yes, Mr Moderator……………..I have an opposing thumb…………..

+4

Excuse me!!! I’d like to call a mulligan.

+8

Anyone here sitting next to a gay white fright activists democratic voter?

+6

Alright that’s about enough. Who’s the joker who threw the shit stained panties on the stage?

+5

Who here believes in Big Bird?

+6

BACKGROUND MUSIC:

♫ ALL YOU RACIST MOTHERFUCKERS PUT YOUR HANDS UP!! ♫

thump.. boooom.. rah.. rattling bolts.

+9

Who in the crowd was sired by Chewbacca?

+8

Anyone know why I can’t debate or carry out a complete sentence on my own without a tele-prompter?

+1

Anyone know the real truth on why everything is always a republican or Bushs fault?

+2

“Uh, this white cracker just passed gas on me!”

+2

Raise your hand if you’re no longer proud of your country.

+3

Raise your hand if you think Jimmy Carter is now the runner-up for worst president ever.

+7

Who else loves and lives by the Koran?

+3

Anyone else besides me been to all 57 states?

+7

Does anyone have some speed for Barry?

+4

Who here has bore the spawn of the devil?

+4

Raise your hand if your unemployed and living on the taxpayer dime.

+4

Mrs. Obama…How many times did you actually catch Barry and Reggie going down the Hershey highway with each other?

+5

Raise your hand if you think muslims love america or americans.

+3

Who else thinks I act stupidly as a president.

+3

Who here at this DNC/Media event would not lay down their life for our saviour Barrack?

+6

Who else knows what a corpsemen is?

+3

Oh Secret Service Man. I have creepy honkie next to me. Do something about it.

Now!

+3

Anyone here think Goofey Joe Biden is smarter then me?

+2

Excuse me. Waiter? I didn’t order the Cracker with White Bread.

See to it that you remove it immediately.

+5

Raise your hand if you’re still getting foodstamps but get away with it because of your race.

+5

Who here besides Holder carrys an official race card in their wallet?

+4

Hey, Shit For Brains, send me a pee cup.

That’s right, a pee cup.

Don’t worry, I can do it standing up.

+5

Who here loves practical jokes and loved flying airforce 1 over Manhatten with her friends to scare the shit out of the 9/11 crackers?

+5

Who here thinks the media will cover for me on my illegal campaign donations by asking for Romneys W2′s….again?

+6

INTERJECTION: NUTJOB, you are on FIRE!

+5

“Yep, I’m the beard.”

+5

Anyone else here hate jews?

+6

Anyone around here hike up their pants halfway up their mid-section so they could “get away with” wearing an over coat that is 3x too small?

+4

Raise your hand if your packing a pecker and have some gay fuck staring at you because he wants it.

+3

Who else thinks the private sector is fine, but the public sector needs more stimulus money?

+5

Would anyone here like a copy of Tipper’s new book entitled, “His Political Career is OVER! Finally I can DIVORCE this MORON!”

+7

Who here needs a douche break?

+2

Um excuse me Mr Lerker, Barack needs to leave now. The kids just called and um the um ah They think they saw a burglar outside their window… Uh yeah, um they they sounded really frightened and they’re there at that big white house thingy all alone. I need Barack to get off the stage right NOW and ah come with me!!!

+6

If Barack and I move out of the White House, do we have to notify the sheriff?

+3

Funnel cakes! Who wants funnel cakes?

+5

Just had this note handed to me by Bill Clinton ….
it seems Hillary is looking for a date tonight …

+2

In honor of Ronald Reagan we are going to do a little skit tonight entitled Bedtime For Bonzo, but we still need someone who can play the part of Bonzo.

+4

Is there a Wookie in the house?

+6

“Hey Michelle, let me show you what a real man is like”

+2

Barry! Barry! Walk over and put your hand in front of Romney’s face.

+4

“Mrs. Obama, I don’t think he was calling you Sweetie.”

+4

“My name is Michelle and I’m a foodaholic.”

+4

Has anyone decided to change their vote after tonight’s debate? With a show of hands, how many came in prepared to vote for Obama?

OK with a show of hands, how many came in prepared to vote for Obama, but have decided to change their vote for Romney?

OK OK. Does anyone here know where I can get a good Burrito?

+3

Who here is proud of their country AND their president?

+2

“Who ordered column A plus steamed rice from the menu this evening? “

+6

Oh lawsie I done shit my bloomers , An this cracker here can smell it Shite ,Bawaa I wna go home to hawaii

+2

Sorry to interrupt again, but the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile just delivered a crate of Bacon, Hot Dogs & Deli Meats for someone named Moochie ?

+4

Michelle is giving a hand audible to Barry

1-3-1……….1-3-1

(The 1-3-1 is the signal for Barry to start using his fake southern black preacher accent)

+3

“Waiter, make that a Biggie size, it’s gonna be a long night.”

+2

Who let the dogs out?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=He82NBjJqf8

Ah, you did Michelle!

+2

“Oh, Mrs. O, don’t you look FABulous in that suit of mine. Aren’t you happy now that you dumped all those loser amateur black ‘designers’?”

+2

Would the ugliest bitch in the world, please raise her hand?

+3

Who needs help with their Geranimals every morning?

+2

“Taxi!”

On another note, can you pick the silhouette of Michelle Obama?
http://thefinereport.com/2012/10/can-you-pick-the-silhouette-of-michelle-obama/

+3

Is there anybody, PLEASE, who knows how to get this asshole to stop stammering before I blow my fucking brains out?

+3

Is there anybody here tonight who wishes they were back at their cushy no-show job at the University of Chicago Medical Center scamming the taxpayers dollars?

+8

Before we start I’d like to know who the hell left the toilet seat up in the transgendered restroom.

+4

Alright, who had the double cheeseburger with fries?

+3

Sigh,,, I love you guys.

+2

I know the answer…..it’s time for a vacation

+3

Is this how you do that “Spock” thingy….?

+2

Those who believe Barack won the debate?

+7

Let me axe you a equestrian mr prezzy, I didn’t get a free phone.

+5

Can I change seats? Nobody said I’d have to sit next to this cracker.

+6

“Can I buy a vowel?”

+2

“Yo! Hot dog man! Gimme three with everything. And a beer.”

+3

I’ll bid 10 million taxpayers dollars for that trip to anywhere!

+6

Pictured above: Michelle Obama trying to flag down what she thought was a passing hotdog vender at the first Presidential Debate. The person turnedout to be a crying Chris Matthews rushing to console his battered President. No word on whether Mrs. Obama ever got her hotdog – although commentors seem to think, based on the size of her ass, she probably had two or three.

+3

“And it’s Brian with the assist!”

+1

Stadium vendor:

Valium, Prozac, Whiskey!
Get yer Valium, get yer Whiskey, get yer Prozac!
Tranquilizers, sedatives, suicide pills!
.38 snub-nose ….

+2

Cutting the Cheese, ChiTown style….. “so what if i pooped my panties? I wearing brown…ain’t I?”

0