iOwnTheWorld.com

He kind of looks like Buden.

God love him…

+1

If that would have been a cantelope I could have named the guilty party.

+1

Was he an Outterman

0

Hey, is that the newest iotw troll here tonite who goes by the clever handle Anonymous?

http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=151664&cpage=1#comment-920733

+4

He was starching the pillows

+8

It looked good to him

0

He found change under the cushion.

+2

And his socks

0

Hmmmm. A new twist on “couch therapy” for sure. Freud would be proud of him.

+3

Sofa King busted!

+7

He mistook the empty couch for an empty chair.

+5

Happy about his Obama phone.

+2

okay the the cop gets eyebleach but the victim gets a rape-kit

..starchin the fillows……..

+1

Looks like anaomouse to me. Dontyatink?

+3

OOh, don’t even go there Tom. Look closer. There’s a cantelope laying next to that couch. By the way, I’ve sworn off that fruit. Used to like it.

0

Hey Bad Brad Lay off the cantelopes.

0

“Human-furniture coupling ”

anybody thinking this gets upward finger twinkles when it gets added to the expanding list of demands at the next Occupy soiree?

+2

Cushion for the pushin’

+2

He should be deported to Hong Kong:

http://www.weirdasianews.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/08/hk-man-penis02.gif

0

http://www.weirdasianews.com/2008/08/07/man-almost-loses-penis-humping-steel-bench/

+1

But was it rape-rape?

+7

Sorry Tom.

0

Come on people…..

Why is everyone so down on this poor sicko for having safe-sex (safe for everyone else that is) with his blind date?

Who cares if he was “frosting the pillows” with his special man-sauce?

At least he was keeping his sexual needs confined to the inanimate objects and not living things, unlike our little muslim friends who look for goats, ducks, camels, sheep, or un-escorted females of ANY age to rape!

+2

To many questions.
Why was this cop out jogging “late at night”? In an area that is infested with couchs sitting on the curb,and people whos IQ is the same as the air temperature?

Me thinks the “jogging cop” should be looking for the meth lab scientist selling rock candy to this sexually perverted furniturephile

+2

Now he will have to register as a couch-sex offender and will not be allowed to live within 300 feet of any upholstered furniture. It’s milk crates and wooden boxes for furnishings for you, you liberal pervert, from now on!

+8

I wonder if a judge will order him to stay away from furniture stores and thrift shops?

+5

Well its better than screwing the pooch!

+2

Hey, Bad Brad and Moe Tom: Have a heart… the man saw his ex-wife’s head in the pillow.

+1

Mmm, I don’t know but that’s a mighty fine looking couch…

+7

Further down the slippery slope….
People do dumb things to get off. That has been happening forever.
What frightens me most is the articles associating this act to sex. It’s not sex. It’s masterbation using a sofa. There is a difference.
The next thing you will see is a “society of inanimate object sex rights” providing free legal counsel for these perverts.

+3

I agree, IronyCurtain. Look at that slutty sofa, flaunting itself on the curb like a filthy trollop. Just asking for.

+4

He saw that bare foam rubber under some torn upholstery and just couldn’t contain himself… sort of like when a muslim guy sees a flash of skin on some woman’s ankle.

+2

Kind of like Pee Wee Herman having sex with a theater seat?

0

After fecal man marriage, polygamy, incest, pedophilia, and bestiality, Gerard is asking for civil rights legislation for sofaphilia.

“I have been to this point unwilling to sign on to sofaphilia primarily because of my understandings of the traditional definitions of marriage. But I also think you’re right that attitudes evolve, including mine.” — President Barack Obama, Sep 29, 2012.

+5

Maybe he has sexual fantasies about
Obama?

0

This is Sofa King wrong.

+7

Between this and bedbugs,there goes the used furniture biz.

+1

I doubt he’d get very close to this sofa:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2210198/Black-bear-reclines-sofa-Manitoba-rubbish-dump.html .

+2

@Moxie Man:

Like he is thinking “Where is that remote?” lol.

+2

I agree with Irony – just what was that sofa doing on the curb late at night looking so sultry and sexy?

+2

Almost as much fun as partying with Erin Moran.

0

Guys….Unlike “hysterical” women, sofas — at all times and in all ways — are accepting of the inevitable.

Sofas are unfeeling fodder for the basest in/of men. This should be accepted and condoned.
….Lady in Red

+1

Uh, Lady in Red — have you made it your personal mission to reform iotw? i think you should probably go find a Left-leaning “womens’” blog where your comments will be so much more appeciated.

The perp is morally weak. The sofa wasn’t his property and he had no business exposing himself in public. If he wants to do this sort of disgusting stuff he can do it on his own sofa in his own home (but not in front of minors).

+4

It was a joke, Abigail.

Then, again, does the couch care?

Were minors watching?

Is this important? …Lady in Red

0