iOwnTheWorld.com

Come on man, tee time is at 3:00

+7

Where the fuck am I?

+6

They do a good job with fly control around here.

+5

My hemmies are hurting!

+1

This is what constipation feels like!

+1

I wish Reggie was standing naked up there.

+8

“I’ll be in power until the fat lady freezes over.”

+3

‘Deep Thoughts with Barry Obama’

+5

I got this debate in the bag. OK, when Mitt starts talking about the economy, I’ll start coughing and choking. If he brings up Libya or Iran, I’ll clutch my chest and start breathing hard. If he even mentions the stimulus, I’ll interrupt and ask for a chair.
Piece of cake.

+5

I looked like an interception to me…

+2

Hmmnmnm… 3 Mexicans & Secret Service Suburban might be cheaper than AAA Movers.

+4

*it

0

We are so gonna remove all the “R” keys on the keyboards January 19th!

+3

I wonder what Reggie’s doing right now?

+7

I can’t believe Michelle ate all those french fries, after she ate two sticks of butter!

+4

Let me think… What Would Allah Do?

+6

” Look!…I’m doing the Vulcan mind meld on myself”

+5

http://iowntheworld.com/blog/?p=151184

+1

I need a really good excuse..I’ve run out of people to blame…think dammit think!

+7

I need a Kool, this shit has got my head bumpin’!

+2

Netanyahu is such a bore. I wish Iran would just get the job done already, then I can start igniting the Chinese/Taiwan match.

+7

Oh allah, reward me for the sodimization of America

+7

” I think I can hypnotize the entire country just by concentrating”

+4

It looks like the devil is peeling off his mask.

+3

Cloward and Pivening this nation takes TOO DAMN long!!

+4

“Sorry, Jesus, for including my index finger.”

+2

“I’ve got too many oars in the fire.”

+9

“I do think at a certain point you don’t need to dwell on the Dollar Menu.”

+4

“Think, think, think”

+1

http://www.allmoviephoto.com/photo/2003_piglet%27s_big_movie_008.html

+1

Those plastic surgeons did a fantastic job. I can’t even tell where my horns, tail, and hooves use to be.

+8

The prayer of Obama:

My father who is in hell
Hallowed be my name
My kingdom come
My will be done
On earth as it is in heaven
Give me this day my daily kudos
Even as I steal the kudos from others
And lead me not down the path of truth
But keep me subservient to only you
For mine is the kingdom and the power and the glory for Lucifer

Amen

Amen

+5

Dickhead, dickhead, dickhead…check him out

+1

“F*uck this sh*t. I like being president but I sure don’t want to work at it. When the hell is my next tee time anyway?”

+4

@fullcirclethinker

Wait until Lucifer gets back; he’ll love your poem.

He’s been busy being channeled from America’s Moslem Capital – Dearborn, Michigan today at a Moslem rally to abolish Free Speech. Ironic on the face of it because Lucifer hates Moslems…too much competition.

+7

all the idiots out there and not ONE realizes i’m giving THEM AND their country the finger

+5

If I only had a brain, a heart, da nerve…..oh well, who the he!! needs any of that when you’re the DIKTATOR! Ahhhhhhhhhhh…I feel better now.

+3

Presidentin’ is hard.

+4

If I push up real hard will my face rip off?

+2

“Allah Damn, I am the smartest guy in the room”..sigh

+1

Gosh I miss Larry Sinclair

+2

That’s not a CFL! Time for another executive order.

+1

Iran-yada-yada-yada-Nuclear Bombs-yada-yada-yada-Bengazi-yada-yada-yada-Embassy-yada-yada-yada-Rioting-yada-yada-yada-Hate Film-yada-yada-yada-Gawd these intelligence briefings are BORing.

+4

obama’s new backdrop

the hershey highway

+1

I’ll bet Lenin and Stalin and Hitler and Mao and Pol Pot and Kim and Castro and all my friends never had it this hard. They got to kill their detractors.

+2

Gawwwd, What was I thinking?

+1

My fingers still have that hairy man ass smell.

+1

Should the nigger shuck his blackberry for a Phone 5?

+2

Just over 3 months and I can be packin’ for my new $35 million digs in Hawaii. Hey, maybe the choom gang can get back together!

+2

Who knew my 72 virgins would be Robert Gibbs, Jay Carney, Helen Thomas…

+5

Where are my friends? Why do people leave the room so fast? Where’s Michelle? Where are the girls? I don’t get it.

+1

What would my Daddy (Frank Marshall Davis) do?
“Dreams of his Father”

+1

. . . Noodles Rica-Rica, Sangsang, hot dog, cold dog, stir fried dog, chitlins stuffed dog, dog salad, dog chops, dog’s ass soup, dog neuterings stew, . . . .

—————————————–

“Bakso, nasi goreng … semuanya enak!” or “Meatball [dog] soup, fried rice … it’s all delicious!” – BHO

+2

Im dreamin of a black x-mass….la-da-de-da-da….

+1

Shit !! I better get off my ass and find a job ….

+2

Dam now I can’t remember, was it a large #16 with extra tomatoes to apartment 12 and a medium #4 to apartment 23? I think I might have mixed up the orders!

+2

That was some goood chooom.

0

…oh shit, it’s been a couple weeks… michelle is gonna want sex tonight for sure… shit

+3

Those look like new drapes. Mooch will be wearing a new dress made from the old ones soon….

+1

Spock does a mind meld on the messiah and finds a void surrounded by a sphincter!

+1