iOwnTheWorld.com

“…and the feet go ‘smell’
and the pussy goes ‘meow’
and the titties go … “

+8

and then you grab the tamale with both hands, like this

+8

That’s right girls, if you wear your boob belt every day, your boobs will look just like mine.

+6

No Shanikqua, you won’t have a big ass and be bowlegged if you eat government size portions.

+6

This is how constipation is relived after castor oil treatment

+1

“And this is how we duck our bodies to dodge the batons, tear-gas canisters, and even rubber bullets! So come on! Let’s bend forward–head down–hands on chest, and do the Honky Duck!”

+4

This is how you pee in the back corner of the classroom when you are too lazy to go down the hall to the bathroom. If you don’t squat down low enough it runs down your leg, then the teacher can tell it was you.

+9

@Dr. Tar

Hmmmm. Good idea. Dual purpose.

+1

I hope my wig doesn’t fall of and Buh-rock didn’t get laid by JayZ again.

+9

My Momma was too lazy to teach me how to walk..
I learned this from the Barn Yard Chicken.

+3

There are so many photos and videos of her playing with kids at schools and such….didn’t she get to play as a child?

+7

If you little wookies want to be a big wookie like me……..

+6

B-0-0-B boob

B-E-L-T belt

+1

Bow to yer partner,do-sa-do
squeeze your titty, squeeze it tight,
sashay left, sashay right,
close your legs and bend your knees,
this is how you hold your pee.

+8

You all live in the big city

I’m from the country in the big green forrest and naive Americans called me Sasquatch

Let’s spell Sasquatch…….S-A..

+7

You won’t have to take the morning after pill if you just hold your tits, bend over and push.

+5

You might have to bend over a little at first, but after a while you will be able to make a poo poo standing straight up just like I do.

+7

Actually, the blue dress isn’t that bad compared to the orange Oompa Loompa outfit she has.

+7

And when you all growed up you get a pair of these!

+1

Now remember little minniwookies. With these we can rule the world! Or at least get free birth control.

+6

Damn Capishqua, i do not have a big ass, i’m just big boned.

+6

It was the big news of the week here in the People’s Republic of Tallahassee.

0

Stand back chillin! i dont know how big this ass is gonna get

+5

And after you hand over you check to the IRS, you take it up the………….

+4

This is where REAL women have boobs!

+7

1% meets 47%

+7

All your junk food belongs to me beoches!

+2

You have to get down real low when you’re stalking your prey through the jungle.

+1

and then you back dat ass up, back dat ass up!

+5

Remember kids, this is how you want to walk through the hood, bent over and real low so you don’t get capped.

+6

When you sneak up on white people to steal their shit, stay low and watch for the Po-Po.

+6

So after your parents go to bed, you sneak into their room crouched over and get that $3 campaign donation and send it to Uncle barack.

+4

Now remember kids, when taking a dump outdoors pinch the boobies as a reminder to pinch it off before you stand up.

+3

Now remember to stay real low when you sneak in to the precincts to vote.

+3

And that’s how we shit on our heels in the bayou.

+3

Hey Kids! Do you know how to do the pee-pee dance?

+1

Da boyz be liken deeze.

0

After reelection we shit on the Constitution like this, then we do a little dance on it until our feet stink , then we can scratch our stinky asses with our fingers, because nobody in their right mind would produce anything (even toilet paper) after my gay socialist dictator bitch doesn’t have to worry about any more elections.

+1

Check it for stilts.

0

And then you SQUUUEEEEZE the baby in the dumpster.

+7

No wonder her arms look so toned… look at that ass to compare them to. GOLLLLLLLLLY!

+4

Giant BLUE GORN terrorizes classroom!

Capt. Kirk still two centuries away from being of assistance!

+5

If you push your boobs together just like this you can get a little bitty titty cleavage just like mine!

+2

And girls, this is how we squat when we are going to take a big ‘ole Barack!

+4

♪♫ You put your boob belt in,
You put your boob belt out.
You put your boob belt in… ♪♫
And if we had boobies girls, you’d shake them all about.

+7

Squeeze ‘em tight, and you too can be called Dances With Two Cheeks. Elbows back for a perfect squeeze or you’ll be a tease.

+1

If you walk into the liquor store like this, you should be able to hide 2 or 3 fifths of ripples up your coochie.

+3

and when your drunk uncle tyrone comes up from behind you like this and grabs them boobies, back that ass up into him so you don’t get pregnant.

+3

Lets try again, it needs to come from way up hear when you fart, then you can jump right to the front of the line.

+2

…so Barack shaved my butt and taught me to walk backwards. Let me see y’all walk backwards.

+6

So your first words after you crouch over should be, That white cracker cop just punched me, and then we call uncle Al or Jesse.

+4

So when you bend over like this while looting, you can throw a big screen tv on your back.

+4

So when someone ask you “why you walking like that? You say “you walk this because we been carrying those rich white non-taxpaying crackers our whole life”.

+3

So when your pushing that Kart with all of your free food you want to lean into it, so as your ass gets bigger from not working it gets easier to push.

+1

and then you push real hard. Remember, the more kids you squeeze out, the more free shit you get.

+3

Missus First Lady, how comes your hair is straight? Is it because you are trying to appeal to the chicken shit moderate independent voters now that you be’s liking’ that white house? “shut up and dance you little fookers”!!!!

0

EenieMeenieMineeMo……….

+2

Isn’t getting brain washed wonderful?

+3

ME! It’s all about ME! Me! Me! Me!

+2

There’s a white kid in the pic. That’s racist!

Gener al-Ripper
CEO of al-Mart
For all your terrorist/ “protester” needs, shop at al-Mart. Open 24/7 except on Fridays, Eid and Ramadan

+1

The Watermelon Dance is a bit more complicated.

+3

Now kids…grunt real hard and an Obama will come out. And don’t forget to wipe.

0

This is how you get itty bitty boobies in a push-up bra….

0

Yes, this is how we do the chicken-walk.

0

I smell White people.

0

oops, wrong caption picture.

Milk, milk, lemonade, prrrooooonnnttt!

+1

Holy shit…THAT’s what’s trying to warn US about obesecity (?)….she can barely stand under the wieght of her own ass!!!

And some cheap hotel somewhere is once again, missing its shower curtains! Whoever dresses this beast must be blind……………

0

Caption:
“See girls, if you squeeze them together like this, they almost look like a young boys ass…and that’s what REALLY gets barack going!”

+1

Remember those yummy cabbage sloppy joes we fed to the chirrens that came to my whitehouse?

Well, dis how we made ‘em! whorf-whorf-whorf!

+1

Who has two thumbs and can (fill in the blank)………..This guy

0

THIS is where I stash MY EBT card, girls!

0

True story, the little white kid is my cousin Lisa’s daughter…. She thinks it’s an awesome event. I tried to explain….. I also tried to tell her to buy a gun & carry it, She thinks I am whacco…..She’s in Fla……

0

In order to pull the wallet out you sometimes have to pull the pant rearward to insert your hand correctly….. Kill Your Parents kids… bye now, & remember You can vote in November…..

0

chewie ‘this is how we do it in the jungle’

0

Barry and I are having a BBQ tonight, so that white baby is mine!

0

Today at the Washington zoo, the apes broke out in spontaneous dance.

0

You wouldn’t have to strain like this while pooping if there were more fiber in school lunches…

0

See, my milkshake really does bring all the boys to the yard!

0

Let the next meeting of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee begin!

0

And this is what ALL good sheeple do on April 15th every year.

Its called National Bend Over and Take it Day!

You’ll learn to love it or else………..

+1

Hey kids!! Let me show you the Uhuru dance. Now hurry before my sweaty wighat and broomlashes fly off! I gota gota go be with my peeps Jayzee and Beyonce. That’s where I really get my groove on:-). Hurry you little shits…gota get on my plane….life is good in the big house!!!

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