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BigFurHat Rant – Loud Talkers
First I came for the Horn Tooters, the idiots that are compelled by idiot forces to toot their horn when they leave someone’s house, even at 3AM.
Then I ranted about the people who insist that if you either pretend, or actually not know, who someone is, you are in a superior position in order to combat progressivism. You know the typical refrain, “why should I care what they think?”
Now I need to rant about these jackasses – the loud talkers.
I have a new neighbor! For the past 8 years the house next door has been pretty much vacant. The owner spent most of his time running a Christian soup kitchen in Manhattan. He finally decided to stay in Manhattan for good and the new buyers have been fixing up the place before they move in. So they hired various contractors, all with one thing in common – THEY ALL TALK TO EACH OTHER FROM SIX FEET AWAY AS IF THEY ARE 600 FEET AWAY.
7 AM: My House -
(The clanging of an aluminum ladder, followed by a small ground shaking boom.)
Shithead #1 - THE SUBSTRATE WAS 1/8TH PARTICLE BOARD. HIS FOOT WENT RIGHT THROUGH AND IT CUT UP HIS (UNINTELLIGIBLE.) YEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE (COUGH, COUGH, SPIT)
Shithead #2 - THAT MUST HAVE BEEN MARTY. HE’S A COMPLETE DONKEY. WHERE’S MY BUTTERED ROLL AND COFFEE WITH NINE SUGARS?
Shithead #3 - (ON CELL PHONE) YAAAAAAAAA. I’LL GET THAT WHEN I DOUBLE BACK, I’M GOING TO THE FINNEGAN JOB…. THE FINNEGAN JOB….. THE FINNEGAN’S. YOU KNOW, THE PLACE WITH THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE. YAAAAA. SPIRAL STAIRCASE…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All of these people are standing no less than 15 feet apart from each other. And it seems the lower the IQ, the louder the voice.
I have a theory. Their voices got louder over time because the mistakenly thought that when people continually said “what?” to them, it meant they weren’t talking loud enough, when in reality it meant, “What? You can’t possibly think the stupid shit coming out of your yaphole is either important, interesting, necessary or accurate.”
I can hear these idiots RIGHT NOW as I type this. The house next door is over 200 feet away and I’m inside with the windows closed. I can see them. Shithead #1 is not more than 15 feet from Shithead #2 and I can hear every word.
Rant/
Moe Tom
September 14th, 2012
Simple, Mr. Fur. They watch Matthews, O’Reilly, Hannity, etc. They figure they havta shout. Also they probably learned their trade from watching “Holmes on Homes” another loudmouth asshole.I miss Bill Buckley and Norm Abrams.
Lowell
September 14th, 2012
Set out a boom box, max out the volume, and load a Lynard Skynard CD. They will speak in subdued tones in reverence.
The Professor
September 14th, 2012
As someone who speaks publically as a profession, I’m a loud talker by design. It’s part of the training. Sorry if you don’t like it, but it really aggrivates me when mealy mouthed colleagues tell me that I’m too loud in my lectures.
So there.
Move to the country if you don’t want to hear your neighbors.
Rightwingfeather
September 14th, 2012
Um. The more I see these rants, the more I am thinking of a padded cell and restraints.
For you, Hat.
xxx
Edith McCrotch
September 14th, 2012
Hey Fur…We got their cousin’s working next door (only they holler when Bubba forgets the Krispy Kreme Donuts.)
Our neighbor’s house was gutted and an addition added on. They started in May and were supposed to have been finished 2 months ago. They’ll be finished in 2 months after their daughters wedding (the reception was supposed to be at the house).
Unneutral
September 14th, 2012
The lower the I.Q. the louder the voice.
Weldor
September 14th, 2012
Folks that work in the construction trades often spend their days in close proximity to noisy stuff.
Communication may be problematical for them.
They may not be rude, just f^cking deaf.
Moe Tom
September 14th, 2012
Professor. WFB,David Suskind, Pat Buchanan, and George Wills, to mention but a few, rarely raised their voices. What kind of loud mouth professor are you?
Show me someone who speaks “publically as a profession” and I’ll show you a politician , a bullshit artist, or a snake oil salesman. GFY ala Clint Eastwood.
old_oaks
September 14th, 2012
When you say “house,” is there air between the walls of both abodes?
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
I remember my first downstairs apartment, with the fat couple upstairs who had an army of heavy-booted children who preferred to jump everywhere rather than walk. The parents yelled like they were deaf too.
Me and my new wife at the time poked holes in the ceiling with brooms and mops and it made no difference.
I will live in a travel trailer before I will ever live in another apartment building.
SR
September 14th, 2012
WHAT???/
FreeMan & Sarah on Vacation
September 14th, 2012
Fantastic theory BFH.
You hit the nail on the head. (npi)
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
Just take the loudest hand cannon you have out in the back yard and pop off about half a dozen rounds in quick succession every time they get real loud.
They’ll hear that, and maybe get the message.
Xavier
September 14th, 2012
Put on your best solid dark suit and tie with a rolled up magazine in the inner breast pocket, get some shooter shades, rent a Crown Vic, chew gum real fast and pay them a visit. Don’t identify yourself, just mention a noise report and that you’re also looking for a guy named Snake.
They probably won’t ever show up for that job again – the construction trade is rife with people who don’t want any contact with the police.
Millertime
September 14th, 2012
A feel good story for those who have endured loud talkers.
Years ago when I was a younger man, my first apartment was in the basement of a 3 story building. The apartment directly above mine had a recent arrival from Iran/Jordan/? (never bothered to get his ethnicity) but his family’s time zone would require him to call at 3AM.
I guess the reception on his dollar store cordless set was so poor that he would have to lean out of his window and yell into the handset to have a conversation. After several attempts to get him to stop shouting out his window and into mine from the echo between the buildings, he escalated into a short floor war. When its time for me to sleep, he would play his crazy music, do some dancing, run a vacuum cleaner. Be a first class asshole…until I stopped it for good.
Building engineer, (not janitor) I was frequently called on by management to restart their shitty boilers. Oh I forgot to mention the mechanical room across the hall from my apartment, that I have the keys to. And the meter plugs I got from a friend who worked at the electric utility company. Yes, I did pull his meter and reset it every morning for three days.
For three nights, its was 11PM rack time for Achmed. Never heard another peep.
TR
September 14th, 2012
Similar to loud-talkers are people you can’t sit next to in an auditorium or theater, etc. They snort, sniffle, smell bad, and put their arms on the seats next to them or put their stuff on YOUR seat just to take up more space.
They are “expository” people who take up much more space than needed. On top of that, they bring soda and coffee into church, and have those foolish water bottles wherever they go like into the waiting room for your car repair or doctor (where there is already a water fountain) as if we all live in the desert.
Other people are modest, friendly, and don’t crowd you in your seat while waiting for the next speaker and they dont try to make their seat (at CPAC or a science convention) an outpost of their lifestyle and possessions when you sit next to them. They move their feet and at least pretend to make space for you when you arrive in the seating row.
Tony R
September 14th, 2012
Well, based on the time of day, and the text of the conversation, my guess is THEY ACTUALLY WORK FOR A LIVING! The loud talking is a result of working with power tools on construction sites which results in hearing loss, hence the loud talking. Sorry their working interrupted your sleeping in.
illustr8r
September 14th, 2012
I have a shirtless hippy neighbor who lives with his long gray haired hippy wife. Their house is on the same hill as ours but is higher up-and so they get a great view of our living room. *sigh* They will talk on their cell phones on their deck and I can hear everything. Every morning he’s on the phone yukkin’ it up.
They like to yell at their dogs too-to “be good and to be quiet” at least 4 times a day.
Your construction guys will leave some day. I’m stuck with my loud talker indefinitely!
Xavier
September 14th, 2012
I know a guy. A guy who can have a nice calm conversation with these loud people and make them see the error of their ways. But it’ll cost ya.
mizdoolally
September 14th, 2012
I have no doubt you, Fur, will feel much better about all these things AFTER the election!
GI-had Joe
September 14th, 2012
Sorry BFH…I think that was me.
Racist
September 14th, 2012
As a remodeling contractor, I have a theory myself…
Perhaps, considering that they are all yankees working in NY, they probably have all been custom fitted by the boss (in conjunction with Nanny Bloomberg) with OSHA approved hearing protectors! It could also be that after several years of hanging around with us Bitter Clingers, you’re starting to realize how annoying Yankees really do sound… Mister Sheffield!!!
FreeMan & Sarah on Vacation
September 14th, 2012
That sounds like my place too Fur, except try to imagine that the music is latino and lunch is fried bananas and there are about 50 of them.
FreeMan & Sarah on Vacation
September 14th, 2012
And they are all parked in my yard
conservative cowgirl
September 14th, 2012
At least they are temporary, right Fur? Our neighbors are renting the house next door for three long years and every word they utter must be shouted , especially when they are on the phone. Outside. They can never talk on the phone inside the house for some reason.
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
My dad worked construction all his life, and I worked for twenty years as a diesel mechanic mostly on 855 cubic inch Cummins engines and some of the older two cycle Detroit 8v72′s and 92′s, plus the loud refrigerated trailers. Doing the fuel settings on a Caterpillar engine is pretty loud too — you’re standing right next to it when you rev it up. Plus years of target shooting before i started wearing ear protection. And yet both my dad and I preferred the quiet, and soft speaking.
But yeah, if the noise level AT WORK is high, then you have to talk loud enough to overcome the noise.
No excuse for noisy neighbors though.
AbigailAdams
September 14th, 2012
I am not a loud person but I live with two (two!) loud talkers. They both talk to me as though English is my second language. One I can understand, his having ruined his hearing with power tools. The youngster has always had a “normal” talking voice that gets louder and louder the more excited she gets, which is frequent. I’m constantly interjecting, “A little quieter, please.” Loud voices, loud noises, over time wear me out and make me cranky. I empathize Mr. Hat.
AbigailAdams
September 14th, 2012
I am not a loud person but I live with two (two!) loud talkers. They both talk to me as though English is my second language. One I can understand, his having ruined his hearing with power tools. The youngster has always had a “normal” talking voice that gets louder and louder the more excited she gets, which is frequent. I’m constantly interjecting, “A little quieter, please.” Loud voices, loud noises, over time wear me out and make me cranky. I empathize Mr. Hat. Buy some ear plugs.
Ornery1
September 14th, 2012
I cannot recall where I saw these phrases, but these people usually fall into two categories:
“Oblivians”—People unaware of their annoying behavior; and
“Obliviots”—People who are unaware of their annoying behavior with the evident attribute of being an idiot.
Immortal Fish
September 14th, 2012
Okay, BFH. We get it.
We’re all gonna get off your lawn now, promise.
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
opps, that’s Detroit 8v71′s
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
damn, I can’t even spell oops correctly tonight…
must be all the damn noise.
Ann Barnhardt
September 14th, 2012
It could be worse. They could be loud ess-eee-ecks people. I get to be tormented by that by a neighbor. Windows shut and its like they’re in the next room. And that in when I go watch The Lord of the Rings. Loud. Or the chase scene from “Bullitt”. Loud.
Flyby
September 14th, 2012
“Put on your best solid dark suit and tie with a rolled up magazine in the inner breast pocket, get some shooter shades, rent a Crown Vic, chew gum real fast and pay them a visit. Don’t identify yourself, just mention a noise report and that you’re also looking for a guy named Snake. ”
Yes.
Do that.
anything else??!?!?!
September 14th, 2012
QUIT YER FUKKING CRYIN, YA FUKKIN CRYBABY !!!
Moe Tom
September 14th, 2012
Racist. I’ve done some remodeling in my life. Lost money to it. Too damn honest. But I still say “Holmes on Homes” an the Professor are full of shit.
Chuck U Farley
September 14th, 2012
Worked construction for 10 years until realizing that it is very debilitating profession and I needed to find something other to do while I still had some health left (just had a back operation last year for a complication from a fall I had on a job over 36 years ago).
Most jobs you have to yell to communicate. Now days, with ear protection you have to yell even more to communicate.
Construction is the one industry where you work yourself out of a job. They’ll be gone soon enough Fur.
…then the quiet will drive you batty.
Moe Tom
September 14th, 2012
I’m disapointed that none of you picked up on the Professor’s comment “it’s part of the training” talking loud that is. Listen to these motherfuckers on TV shouting and out-shouting each other, whereas nobody listening can learn or hear a fucking thing.
A big problem in communication. The MSM want it that way. So nobody understands what the fuck is going on.
Jerry Manderin
September 14th, 2012
Make a graphic of them! =]
Corona
September 14th, 2012
What docs aren’t telling us is that a lot of these low IQ people are fucking deaf, thus they yell everything because they can barely hear themselves.
Amazing how they instinctively know how to throw their voice from their diaphragm like a stage actor without any lessons in high school. Their only saving grace is they weren’t thespians which rhymes with lesbians.
Stranded in Sonoma
September 14th, 2012
Sorry, but I go the other way.
I can handle loud talkers all day. What I can’t stand are people that sound like they are 5 levels below a whisper even though they have their personal volume turned all the way up to 11. I’m not a lip reader but I have to stare at their mouth, not their face, just to pick up on every 10th word. It’s like breaking a code.
At first I would try to be nice and nod my head and say, “Hmmmm” and nod again. But then I had to hold a conversation and I had no idea what the topic was! Your best bet is to make sure there are at least 2 or 3 other people in the same converstation; someone may pick up a clue and the normal talkers can then hold a real conversation.
Now I don’t even bother trying to be nice. I just look at them and say, “I beg your pardon but I couldn’t hear a word you said. Would you please repeat that?” I can guarantee you the second time you say that in 5 minutes, you’re labeled an @$$hole but Madame Butterfly and her ilk will leave you alone with the normal people.
Speak up or shut up.
Jorel Lives!
September 14th, 2012
We have to put up with crap and suffer the hassle at some time or another no matter where we live: if it isn’t a drunken neighbor beating his wife every weekend, it’s an animal digging up your back yard as you sleep or pissing on your front porch as you piss in the toliet, or the elements affecting something causing an obstruction or annoyance nearby you can’t afford to fix or just plain can’t do nothing about because it’s ON your neighbor’s side of the fence (and he don’t give a damn about it), or kids playing for TOO MANY DAMN HOURS in front of your place, or some drag racer who–unfortunately for you, lives down the block, etc., etc., etc. Add yours here_________.
CrustyB
September 14th, 2012
Those same type of people ride the elevator in my office. Distance = no more than 5 feet in any direction. Decibal level = artillery squad.
Frosteetoes
September 14th, 2012
anything else??!?!?!
QUIT YER FUKKING CRYIN, YA FUKKIN CRYBABY !!!
*************
Yeah really. You whine about the stupidest shit.
anything else??!?!?!
September 14th, 2012
it WAS over the top enuff to be sarcasm, twernt it?
Frosteetoes
September 14th, 2012
I LOVED it anything else ??!?!?!
Finally! It had to be said.
Edith McCrotch
September 14th, 2012
Can we outlaw “flexing” ?
Edith McCrotch
September 14th, 2012
sorry…. “car flexing” ?
Claudia
September 15th, 2012
Ok, I have a lady living across the street from me. It seems she lives on her front lawn. She lets her kid play in the front yard and she talks on the phone while sitting on a lawn chair watching her kid. One day she was whaling and balling about some precious thing someone gave away that was her daughters legacy from her grandmother. The show lasted several hours. I think she called everyone she knew to tell them what happened. My Roommate and I refer to her as the ‘crying lady’ now. but at the time, we were doing yard work and after a few hours, decided to go inside. Yikes.
TR
September 15th, 2012
To AnnB,
I would chase you around the couch and pretend to be Steve McQueen if you pretend to be Jacqueline Bisset? Even though I gave up smoking and drinking, I’m not dead, yet!
-TR
Jorel Lives!
September 15th, 2012
@Claudia
Pull your shades and keep your doors locked. It works for me!
Tony R
September 15th, 2012
Ann: Years ago (before caller I.D.) I had neighbors who engaged in loud love making. I would wait until just before the “critical moment” and dial their number, then hang up. Great fun.
BC
September 15th, 2012
Are they midgets?
I have had this conversation at work. We concluded that a low IQ was directly related to penis size. The bigger the wang the lower the IQ. This was verified by a former special ED teacher.
The loud talking was determined to be the result of being shorter than 5’5.”
But what do I know? I am dumb as a rock
BigFurHat
September 15th, 2012
I love these threads.
I love how people get angry with me when I’m talking about people that aren’t them…. or ARE THEY?
lol.
Hey, you ever run into an actual deaf person?
THEY DON’T SHOUT!!!
They understand that they are the deaf people, not the people they are talking to.
I love all the theories. All of them wrong.
I can see these d-bags. They are standing 6 feet from each other. No ear protection. They are HOUSE PAINTERS.
I walk my dog in the woods. They turn around when I step on a branch. They aren’t deaf. They are loud talking assholes.
They do exist, ya know.
Currently there a few of them working next to my house.
jwm
September 15th, 2012
OK FUR
You put up posts about insufferable annoyances, and then allow those goddamn pop-up ads that hijack your browser here on iotw.
I don’t mind ads.
I know you need to generate some revenue.
But this is the single most annoying and intrusive feature on the internet, and it singes my ass to have to put up with it here on my favorite forum.
And yes, I’ve downloaded pop-up blockers. They don’t do shit.
I’ll put my money where my mouth is here. I’m not rich, or even very well off, (I work as a night janitor)but I’ll kick down $100.00 if you dump the pop-ups, and that is a promise.
JWM
Illustr8r
September 15th, 2012
@BFH Today was the first day ever that I got a pop up ad on iOTW. Weird. Being my internets so slow the ad never fully loaded- think the URL was zedo or something.
Your rants are the best. I hope people keep annoying you.
Mary Jane Anklestraps
September 15th, 2012
I’m not getting pop ups. Am I missing something good? Is it hot men doing laundry? What?
jwm
September 15th, 2012
Fur- That’s exactly what’s happening, and apparently it isn’t just me, and my machine. The ad is from Zedo. Every time I open iotw I have that panel ad that has to be closed before I can see the page.
JWM
Mary Jane Anklestraps
September 15th, 2012
Oh dude. Loud talkers!
What about the women who you can hear cackling across a big restaurant? Some people have no sense of where they are. lol
Illustr8r
September 15th, 2012
Weird. I didn’t have anything else open but iOTW and I got a pop up. I thought maybe it was a test to see how it worked on the site or something.
?!?
Illustr8r
September 15th, 2012
What @JWM said. That’s what I got too.
Mary Jane Anklestraps
September 15th, 2012
I think people who use multiple IP proxies can get more popups than others. That can happen when you’re on an iPad wandering around too.
BC
September 15th, 2012
I have never seen a pop-up here?
Anonymous
September 15th, 2012
I haven’t seen any popup ads here.
I’ve seen some popunders though.
My cousin uses them on her travel blog and
They’re supposed to work like this; 1 IP will get an ad behind a window for once a day.
You won’t see the ad until you closed the window because it is behind it, not over top of it.
If I remember to, I use the Close All Tabs option when I leave the internet.
Sometimes it can be a glitch with the browser, too. I left Firefox because of that and I won’t use IE just because it is like a virus all on its own.
Frosteetoes
September 15th, 2012
I’ve been getting the pop ups here recently and I’m using Chrome.
Fur, just breaking balls, of course you know that. And if it’s any conciliation my pet peeve are people who smack their lips when they chew. I hate that shit.
dba_vagabond_trader
September 15th, 2012
Move to the country like we did.
I LIVE IN THE COUNTRY!!!! -bfh
mals
September 15th, 2012
I was a high school teacher for thirty years. Often the noise level in the faculty lounge would drown out the noise from the nearby student cafeteria.
Rambler
September 15th, 2012
Remember too that sounds are louder in empty houses, so their voices are being amplified by that, too. Yeah, loud talkers are a major pain. Still, be glad they’re not booming techno-pop shit while they work.
They are painting the exterior – bfh
spymyeyes
September 15th, 2012
Yes their are D-bags everywhere Fur, the world is full of them.
Talking to people like that will do no good and will prob. lead to additional tourments at your expense just to get a laugh and break up their workday.
construction jobs and even house painters mostly have to use their backs unless it is skilled labor, but even then once you know your job your mind wanders as your hands do the work and bitching is their favorite pastime.
There are a million ways to distract yourself from them and like others have said they will be gone soon enough.
Just think about this one FUR:
your laying on the operating table in pain, high on drugs, can’t breathe, and got some doctor screaming in your face to BREATHE OR DIE!
right about then FUR…..you will gladly listen to those loud talkers for a month of sundays if you could just feel some air going into your goddamn lungs!
BigFurHat
September 15th, 2012
What good is a forum if you can’t rant?
Czar of Defenestration
September 15th, 2012
@BFH
Just saw this and thought of you (didn’t read it, just saw the title)
http://homes.yahoo.com/news/noisy-neighbors–solutions-for-creating-sound-barriers.html
If you have any technical questions or want other ideas (NOT involving a gun), contact me (I’m a retired architect).
Philippa
September 15th, 2012
Seems to me what is really needed is a blog for ranting. This would be immensely popular, and should be linked to from here.
BTW, I’m “lucky” enough to live where everyone yells everything all the time, at any hour. I’m not from here originally, and I don’t understand it.