First I came for the Horn Tooters, the idiots that are compelled by idiot forces to toot their horn when they leave someone’s house, even at 3AM.
Then I ranted about the people who insist that if you either pretend, or actually not know, who someone is, you are in a superior position in order to combat progressivism. You know the typical refrain, “why should I care what they think?”
Now I need to rant about these jackasses – the loud talkers.
I have a new neighbor! For the past 8 years the house next door has been pretty much vacant. The owner spent most of his time running a Christian soup kitchen in Manhattan. He finally decided to stay in Manhattan for good and the new buyers have been fixing up the place before they move in. So they hired various contractors, all with one thing in common – THEY ALL TALK TO EACH OTHER FROM SIX FEET AWAY AS IF THEY ARE 600 FEET AWAY.
7 AM: My House -
(The clanging of an aluminum ladder, followed by a small ground shaking boom.)
Shithead #1 - THE SUBSTRATE WAS 1/8TH PARTICLE BOARD. HIS FOOT WENT RIGHT THROUGH AND IT CUT UP HIS (UNINTELLIGIBLE.) YEEEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE (COUGH, COUGH, SPIT)
Shithead #2 - THAT MUST HAVE BEEN MARTY. HE’S A COMPLETE DONKEY. WHERE’S MY BUTTERED ROLL AND COFFEE WITH NINE SUGARS?
Shithead #3 - (ON CELL PHONE) YAAAAAAAAA. I’LL GET THAT WHEN I DOUBLE BACK, I’M GOING TO THE FINNEGAN JOB…. THE FINNEGAN JOB….. THE FINNEGAN’S. YOU KNOW, THE PLACE WITH THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE. YAAAAA. SPIRAL STAIRCASE…
All of these people are standing no less than 15 feet apart from each other. And it seems the lower the IQ, the louder the voice.
I have a theory. Their voices got louder over time because the mistakenly thought that when people continually said “what?” to them, it meant they weren’t talking loud enough, when in reality it meant, “What? You can’t possibly think the stupid shit coming out of your yaphole is either important, interesting, necessary or accurate.”
I can hear these idiots RIGHT NOW as I type this. The house next door is over 200 feet away and I’m inside with the windows closed. I can see them. Shithead #1 is not more than 15 feet from Shithead #2 and I can hear every word.