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FLORIDA MAN CLEANING HANDGUN GOES OFF HALF-COCKED
I’ll let y’all in on a little something….AWD loves him some guns. The only thing better than guns are…more guns! Or maybe more guns and Hooters. I’ll admit one damn thang…I love me some guns! But AWD was taught at an early age to always assume every gun is loaded…especially when cleaning them. There is one universal safety rule about cleaning guns that reigns supreme above all others: DO NOT SHOOT YOURSELF IN THE WANG WHEN CLEANING YOUR GUN!
Apparently, some wigger-type doof in Florida didn’t learn that rule and will be shooting blanks from now on. Because he did not follow the universal gun safety rule….he done blowed off his man-thing! And one of his cojones to boot! Let me tell you another damn thang, if the Big Sexy blows off the Captain and a gonad with a hollow-point, the next shot fired is going straight through my melon! Without the Captain running on all 8 cylinders, what’s a Big Sexy to do? Become a consultant? Or worse yet, a moisturizing poofter? No, no, no….that’s why AWD always checks, re-checks, and re-re-checks all of his arsenal when it’s time for cleaning to make sure the Captain stays intact and in working order, baybah.
bitterclinger
September 14th, 2012
“Let me tell you another damn thang, if the Big Sexy blows off the Captain and a gonad with a hollow-point, the next shot fired is going straight through my melon! Without the Captain running on all 8 cylinders, what’s a Big Sexy to do? Become a consultant?”
Consultant. Heh, heh.
dba_vagabond_trader
September 14th, 2012
Cock a doodle don’t
conservative cowgirl
September 14th, 2012
Is Michael Smegma-lio now Michelle? Didn’t he know could have just scammed the taxpayers and extracted money for “the change” operation?
Oh, and what’s a “wigger”?
Xavier
September 14th, 2012
@conservative cowgirl
Oh, and what’s a “wigger”?
If you’re not joking please identity the town and state you live in. I want to move there.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
September 14th, 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-TC2xTCb_GU
It’s a shame that Steve Lee song ↑ isn’t on jukeboxes nationwide; it’d play endlessly.
*********
Port St. Lucie, eh? Rush listeners will have heard that town’s name at least twice before. It’s his east coast equivalent of Rio Linda.
conservative cowgirl
September 14th, 2012
@Xavier, I’m not joking and now I’m afraid to ‘oogle it.
conservative cowgirl
September 14th, 2012
@Boobie, I love that song! I’ll be singing that all day!
Brooke
September 14th, 2012
The gun is ALWAYS loaded… Even when you ‘know’ it isn’t!
Hopefully this idgit has removed himself permanently from the gene pool, and hasn’t bred already!
Xavier
September 14th, 2012
@conservative cowgirl
Well just combine the words white and…
Claudia
September 14th, 2012
Biden???
Stirrin the B.S.
September 14th, 2012
Some one give him Chaz Bono’s number. I’m sure he/she knows a good appendage installer to recommend.
Pickled Liver
September 14th, 2012
@ Conservative Cowgirl – White Urbanians that dress and act like “gangstas” !
Billy Fuster
September 14th, 2012
Redneck ebonics?
Pickled Liver
September 14th, 2012
@ Conservative Cowgirl – BTW “Urbanians” = Urban Yoots !
Nutjob
September 14th, 2012
1 less nut procreating.
Moxie Man
September 14th, 2012
Forida, eh? Is that Debbie W-S’s new hair-do?
Roadmaster
September 14th, 2012
Anyone that friggin’ stoopid, should have to sit down to pee.
Bob M.
September 14th, 2012
Cleaning up the gene pool, one shot at a time!
Stache
September 14th, 2012
I have to admire the timing of Claudia’s comment falling under Xavier’s.
“Just combine the words white and … Biden?”
Spurt coffee out the nose, again.
larry s
September 14th, 2012
why do i get thoughts of pink slime?
muddjuice (Absolutist)
September 14th, 2012
If guns were outlawed, this never would have happened. Guns is evil. Evil I tell you….
ICook2
September 14th, 2012
Rumor has it he doesn’t have the balls to do it again!
Brooke
September 14th, 2012
I shit you not, just today my eldest child’s school went on lockdown… It is a rural district with wild turkey-filled fields, and a group of doofs decided to go ‘target practicing’ in the field right behind the Jr. High during school hours.
The local constabulary and sheriff’s office didn’t take too kindly to that…
denny g
September 14th, 2012
i’m in “a rural district with wild turkey-filled”, under-employed construction workers that hopes to G-D we come to our senses BEFORE the election and STOPS giving money to assholes that wanna keeel us, stops giving illegals more benefits than legal citizens, and STOPS overreacting to every little frigging thing that hurts someones widdle feewings
Mountain Dog
September 14th, 2012
What kind of idiot cleans a loaded gun? Only a liberal or an idiot. Those terms are interchangeable.
Anybody who does not check to see if a weapon is loaded when they first lay hands on it should not be allowed to ever touch one.