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Private Letter from Father Posted on Reddit with the Title “This Is What Hate Looks Like”

Home - by - August 7, 2012 - 23:30 America/New_York - 46 Comments

Goodbye Letter of the Day
Cheeseburger.com
Five years ago, Redditor RegBarc was disowned by his father. He shared his story this week in a thread called “This is how hates sounds”:

In August of 2007, I finally built up the courage to tell my father I was gay. The moment I said it, the phone got quiet and he got off the phone after a few “Okay”s. I decided to give him time to process the news. About a week later, and not long before my birthday, I received the following letter: “James: This is a difficult but necessary letter to write. I hope your telephone call was not to receive my blessing for the degrading of your lifestyle. I have fond memories of our times together, but that is all in the past. Don’t expect any further conversations With me. No communications at all. I will not come to visit, nor do I want you in my house. You’ve made your choice though Wrong it may be. God did not intend for this unnatural lifestyle. If you choose not to attend my funeral, my friends and family will understand. Have a good birthday and good life. No present exchanges will be accepted. Goodbye, Dad.” … 5 years on and I am still doing fine, though this letter saunters into my mind every once in a while. When it does, I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.

!snip!
I’m not sure why this letter was made public. Is this somehow supposed to sway people into thinking the church should accept gay marriage?
If it was, it failed.

» 46 Comments

  1. Xavier

    August 7th, 2012

    Sounds like somebody’s a whiny little bitch and wanted some publicized revenge. Daddy issues, indeed.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +38

     
  2. CharlieWalksonWater

    August 7th, 2012

    this kid is as twisted as an oklahoma tornado.

    Thumb up +8

     
  3. Stranded in Sonoma

    August 7th, 2012

    No, that letter is NOT hate. That is the right of any human to their own opinions and feelings. Children disappoint their parents all the time and most are not because the child has chosen a homosexual lifestyle. And the parents will tell those children, in no uncertain terms, just how disappointed they are. This loser makes it sound like his decision is the only right one.

    If you want to know how hate sounds:

    I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.

    That’s the real hate in this story.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +71

     
  4. Liberal Larry

    August 7th, 2012

    You’re all bastards. I feel sorry for your children.

    Thumb up +1

     
  5. Roscoe P. Soultrane

    August 7th, 2012

    Tough call – hard to turn your back on your children, but if you honestly believe that they’ve gone irredeemable….

    Thumb up +7

     
  6. shockuhzulu

    August 7th, 2012

    So by this idgit’s logic, If I want to screw your girlfriend and you find that offensive, then you’re full of HATE! I guess you have to be queer to make sense of that kind of thinking.

    Thumb up +8

     
  7. Xavier

    August 8th, 2012

    As Stranded said, it’s an opinion, and a choice – on both sides. I strongly suspect that RegBarc had a pretty good idea what would happen when he told his Dad and wanted the rejection as a way to justify his lifestyle. But hey, the hetero’s are always the bad guys, right? Sometimes STFU is the right solution.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     
  8. Jerry Manderin

    August 8th, 2012

    “F**k you, Dad.”

    Dad handled it with grace.

    Homo son? Ehhhhhhh…not so much.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +29

     
  9. Dad

    August 8th, 2012

    “I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.”

    Izzat a promise or a threat, son?

    Thumb up +6

     
  10. tripseven

    August 8th, 2012

    I don’t see this as a hate letter. Seems to me more along the lines of tough-love. I have to think the father still loves his son.

    If the son admitted to the detestable sin of rape or murder would this letter still be considered “hate?”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     
  11. Whoopi Goldberg

    August 8th, 2012

    @tripseven: “If the son admitted to the detestable sin of rape or murder would this letter still be considered “hate?””

    Do you mean rape, or rape-rape?

    Thumb up +6

     
  12. Bfpa61

    August 8th, 2012

    Why did he not have the courage to come out in person instead of over the phone. Huge mistake. And not one mention of love for the father or son by each other. I think there must have been many more issues there. One more thing….WHO GIVES A SHIT! We all got problems whinny-ass-pillow-biter.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  13. tripseven

    August 8th, 2012

    @Whoopi…please feel free to explain how rape is good in any way, shape or form!

    Thumb up +1

     
  14. Major Mal function

    August 8th, 2012

    “This Is What Disappointment Looks Like”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     
  15. berlet98

    August 8th, 2012

    America’s Boy Scouts and the Liberals Who Hate Them

    On the surface, the Boy Scouts of America oath, “On my honor, I will do my best to do my duty to God and my country and to obey the Scout Law, to help other people at all times, and to keep myself physically strong, mentally awake and morally straight,” seems an admirable, innocuous, inoffensive promise.

    The Scouts are simply pledging to abide by God’s Commandments, the laws of the United States of America and of their organization, to be of assistance when needed, to stay fit, be on their toes, and be decent human beings, all of which vows are commendable to normal people.

    Nevertheless, the Boy Scouts oath and everything the 102 year old, 2.7 million member BSA represents are abhorrent to leftists and homosexuals. As for leftist homosexuals, which is pretty much a redundancy, the BSA is considered the equivalent of the KKK, the American Nazi Party, or worse and all because they stand for honor, morality, and common decency.

    And, liberals don’t only detest the Boy Scout principles, they are as committed to destroying the BSA as they are to bankrupting Chick-fil-A for its grave offense of publicly announcing a belief in traditional marriage. Americans proclaimed their agreement by flooding Chick-fil-A with business.

    The sad reality that the liberal wing of the Democrat Party, another redundancy, opposes both freedom of speech and fundamental Christian beliefs was evidenced twice on CNN, “the most trusted name in news,” first when a gay-skewed panel on Soledad O’Brien’s July 18th “Starting Point” encouraged homosexuals to attack the Boy Scouts, an invitation which was followed by Don Lemon’s guest, ousted Cub Scout leader Jennifer Tyrrell, presenting her case for a lesbian to guide young boys through the treacherous shoals of childhood.

    After a two year review, the Boy Scouts of America reaffirmed its ban on gay members, a position supported by the United States Supreme Court more than a decade ago and endorsed by most parents of Scouts.

    That BSA decision was immediately attacked by homosexuals as being out of touch with the times and “on the wrong side of history” or, as one gay activist said, “Just because the Supreme Court has said the Boy Scouts are allowed to have this policy does not mean that it is just or that it is consistent with basic human compassion.”

    I guess that view would depend . . .

    (Read more at http://www.genelalor.com/blog1/?p=27348.)

    Thumb up +3

     
  16. Graceia

    August 8th, 2012

    Ooooh, that phrase “on the wrong side of history” really grates. Only true history will tell. Using that phrase is a blatant attempt to shut the conversation down.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  17. Stranded in Sonoma

    August 8th, 2012

    @Liberal Larry — At least as hetrosexuals we can have children.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     
  18. Stranded in Sonoma

    August 8th, 2012

    Read the second to the last line of the letter again.

    Have a good birthday and good life.

    And what was this tolerant, homosexual, liberal’s response?

    I say without hesitation: F**k you, Dad.

    Yeah, that’s what I call tolerant!

    Remember what someone on this blog said just a few days ago. Homosexuality can be summed up in one word: Anus.

    Not only is this loser in love with any other man’s anus, he is an anus personified.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +24

     
  19. antiteabagger

    August 8th, 2012

    Comparing lgbtq to murder
    . How shocking. Not.

    Thumb up +1

     
  20. tripseven

    August 8th, 2012

    @antiteabagger…will that be your rebuttal on judgment day?!?

    Thumb up +2

     
  21. David Kramer

    August 8th, 2012

    Testing

    Thumb up +1

     
  22. David Kramer

    August 8th, 2012

    Hey BFH, my other email account is being blocked from commenting. You banning me or something?

    Thumb up 0

     
  23. David Kramer

    August 8th, 2012

    Hmmm, well, you know I might not go as far as this father with a gay child. It would be a different story if they turned out liberal. I would probably tell them to get bent if they ever registered as a Democrat.

    Thumb up +5

     
  24. Whoopi Goldberg

    August 8th, 2012

    @tripseven: “please feel free to explain how rape is good in any way, shape or form!”

    Depends on if you are giving or receiving.

    Victim: “Stop! It hurts!”
    Rapist: “What are you talking about? It feels great!”

    That aside, it was the real Whoopi who tried to draw the distinction between “rape” and “rape-rape”.

    Thumb up +3

     
  25. fxdwg69

    August 8th, 2012

    No, fuck YOU, you little fucking faggot. Since when is sucking cock more important than your family’s love and support? Stupid homo.

    Thumb up +4

     
  26. tripseven

    August 8th, 2012

    @whoopi…ah yes, I forgot about that.
    Sorry I missed the sarcasm ;)

    Thumb up 0

     
  27. Bob M.

    August 8th, 2012

    Dad BEING a dad – a MAN, trying to teach a young son, how to BE a man.

    Dad: WINNING!

    Son: FAIL!

    Thumb up +7

     
  28. Cruisin' Cat

    August 8th, 2012

    A shame James didn’t inherit his Father’s moral standards.

    Thumb up +6

     
  29. Annie

    August 8th, 2012

    Did this actually happen?

    Thumb up +2

     
  30. Xavier

    August 8th, 2012

    Izzat chu, Teacake?

    I wondered that myself. It’s a plea for attention, whatever the true source. I stand by my “whiny little bitch” comment.

    Thumb up +4

     
  31. BILL

    August 8th, 2012

    if faggots are born that way,

    then so are:

    pedophiles
    polygamists
    drug addicts
    rapists
    murderers
    thieves
    liars
    adulterors
    politicians
    etc.

    So the “all powerful state” should sanction all that behavior as well since they are only acting on their feelings they were all born with, right?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  32. Cruisin' Cat

    August 8th, 2012

    BILL, they seem to be working on it, don’t they?

    Thumb up +2

     
  33. reddecaesari

    August 8th, 2012

    i am with dad.

    Thumb up +5

     
  34. Xavier

    August 8th, 2012

    Harry Reid told me that Barry’s going to XO that estranged LGBT families meet a minimum of twice a year. Presents, cash, and a visit to Starbucks are mandatory with or the parent’s healthcare will be cancelled.

    Thumb up +3

     
  35. muddjuice

    August 8th, 2012

    Stranded hit it dead on. The last comment by the “victim” of the letter is the real hate here.

    And Bill…well said. That’s always the next logical step with all this. Every demented behavior is not the fault of the person doing the act, they were “born that way”.

    Sin is sin. No matter how people try to explain it away….

    Thumb up +4

     
  36. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    August 8th, 2012

    I guess Dad didn’t read page two of his son’s letter that said something about him being over at Billy’s, everything is OK and there are more tragic things in life than a D on a report card.

    Thumb up +1

     
  37. Mr.Gates

    August 8th, 2012

    At lib larry – “compassion” is a one way street, isn’t it?

    Thumb up +2

     
  38. Maudie N Mandeville

    August 8th, 2012

    If they’re not born that way, Dad may want to reflect on…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED AND WHEN!!!

    And it’s not exactly Christian to disown the son bc of his abhorrent life style. Love the sinner, hate the sin, but don’t bring your boyfriends over to my house and “No, I’m not coming to your wedding”.

    Thumb up +2

     
  39. Hockeytx

    August 8th, 2012

    Very sad..I can’t imagine my kids telling me anything that would make me love them any less. I would walk to hell and back for them and always stand by their side.

    Thumb up +3

     
  40. Sard

    August 8th, 2012

    Has this letter been verified as authentic? It wouldn’t surprise me if it had been manufactured to elicit sympathy and engender hate against the “evil patriarchs” of the “oppressive” and “fascist, homophobic” American family. Just sayin’.

    Thumb up +7

     
  41. Anonymous

    August 8th, 2012

    Hockeytx – That’s easy to say when your heart isn’t broken.

    Thumb up 0

     
  42. John C.

    August 8th, 2012

    The father was wrong for kicking out his son, when a good left hook would straighten that kid out. If he investigated further, he would find that a teacher is behind this. That is what the homosexuals do. They send in recruiters to indoctrinate our children and then rape them. When the child complains to the to the principal, the principal calls him, “bigoted” and “homophobic”, thus shaming the child. The school board allows it, because they are run by radical lesbian feminists.

    Thumb up +2

     
  43. Brian in BC

    August 8th, 2012

    Great response and an alternative letter from David Murray over at HeadHeartHand http://headhearthand.org/blog/2012/08/08/what-letter-would-you-write-to-a-gay-son/

    Thumb up +1

     
  44. Billy Quiets

    August 9th, 2012

    Wow. I can’t believe the response to this. The guy who wrote the letter should be ashamed of himself. If your religious beliefs are more important to you than a relationship with your son then God help you, you’re missing the message.

    I’m having a tough time seeing Jesus agreeing with the sentiment in this letter.

    Y’all need to drop the rocks and take another look at this. Have some love in your heart.

    Thumb up 0

     
  45. muddjuice

    August 9th, 2012

    @ Billy

    Your ignorance of the Bible and what Jesus would or would not agree with is showing. Jesus was very clear in stating that faith in him would cause divisions and trouble, even within families. He maintained that your faith was WAY MORE IMPORTANT than easing the concence of the person defying God’s principles.

    Luke 12:49-53

    49 “I have come to bring fire on the earth, and how I wish it were already kindled! 50 But I have a baptism to undergo, and what constraint I am under until it is completed! 51 Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. 52 From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three. 53 They will be divided, father against son and son against father, mother against daughter and daughter against mother, mother-in-law against daughter-in-law and daughter-in-law against mother-in-law.”

    Thumb up +2

     
  46. Patricia

    August 13th, 2012

    Wow! First, what was the purpose of going public with this? Second, how sad for both Dad and son. Third, perhaps Dad wanted grandchildren! Fourth, both of them will regret this years from now, believe me!
    This one was a weeper….

    Thumb up 0