iOwnTheWorld.com

Silver medal in the Ving Rhames look-alike contest.

+8

Who farted

+9

Dude

+5

Damn! I gotsta get me a new mirror.

+3

“What do you mean opposition to my husband isn’t racist?”

+7

You talkin’ to me?

+2

“Jerusalem, the capitol of Israel, fool you be trippin’.”

+8

Wha’d that Cracker say?

+6

“What do you mean you were proud of America before Barack?”

These are so damned easy.

+4

Is my ass REALLY wider than Oprah’s?

+7

“You think that you built your small business…really?”

+6

Misha, Stargate-1 called to say they are still not hiring!

+1

“What do you mean…”it didn’t work”?”

K, I’ll stop now.

+1

I smell what The Rock is cookin’!

+1

queen moochelle prebotox

0

“‘Think they can see my dick?”

+6

“Can’t wait to somodomize that mother-fuckah”

+2

“I’m the man in the bedroom.”

+2

“Why aren’t all those cameras pointed directly at me?”

+4

The Geico caveman came out of the closet?

+5

“Man that spotted dick I had earlier isn’t sitting too well. I’m going to need some bangers and mash when I get back to the Four Seasons tonight.”

+5

“How come there are white men in the US team ??”

+7

Who the hell let Oprah in?

+6

“yo, with a mustache, i’d look like a killah in da ghetto”

+4

“I don’t know what that Jordan Wieber is crying about. My jockey shorts are riding up on me and you don’t see me balling about it.”

+1

Oooo…maybe I shouldn’t have had that 4th hot dog…nah.

0

dammit, i AM smiling.

+7

“Damn. What are the Romney’s doing here?”

+1

oops – “Romneys”

0

“Oh my, I should cut the steroids dosis.”

+1

“Huh, that McKayla Maroney is such a show off. I could do that if I wanted to, I just don’t want to. She can’t hold a candle to me in jumping jacks.”

+2

“No white cracka-ass honkies ‘lowed in heah.”

+3

Eeew, menstrual cramps, should have brought one of those pillows with a rope wrapped around it with me.

+1

“Lose? Why you racist a* mother-F*, I’ll put my foot right up…”

0

Daayyaaam….that Russian bitch got a bigger dick then me.

+2

“motherF*er, I dont think that camera is on me. Where’s my secrete service, I need them…”

0

WOOF! WOOF! GRRRRRRRRRR…

+4

“who the F* does this ‘queen’ B* think she is? F*in attention W* with all the cameras on her skank A*”

0

“Who invited the earthlings?”

+2

Bitch, you betta back offa mah chickin wings!

+4

Jeez, if it was a toss up between that and Larry Sinclair…
I’m thinking, I’m thinking…

+6

“Let’s steal $5B before 2016…”

+6

“Yeah, we gonna rape’em folks good after the elex”

+2

Ghetto-Trash

+5

(sniff, sniff) Do I smell WHITE PEOPLE!?

+8

UGLY!

0

Damn, Fool. Is that a cheeseburger? Don’t be putting that in your mouth. The Food Nazis be draggin’ your sorry ass outta here faster than your dead grandma can vote for Barack.

+3

This is what I think of you peons my pal Val controls through the puppetman.

+1

http://astuteblogger.blogspot.com/2012/07/caption-contest-at-iotw.html

+1

“Is that a picture of Churchill?”

+6

Who a girl gotta f*c& to get some ribs up in this bi7ch?

+7

I can’t write anything because that is the scariest ‘put the ug into ugly’ face I have ever seen. I highly doubt I will be able to sleep tonight.

+5

Wait…there’s 50 stars on the flag? Really?
Well I’ll be damned.

+5

http://astuteblogger.blogspot.com/2012/07/michelle-and-barry-watchin-b-ball.html

http://astuteblogger.blogspot.com/2012/06/four-firsts-from-bill-and-hillary.html

+1

America won again fuck I am not happy AGAIN

+1

Ahh Woo Woo! Deez fish n chips is kickin like uh muh fuh!

+1

I’m turtleneckin for reelz!

0

You WILL refer to me as the First Lady.

+1

T-t-t-ssstT! Sh-e-e-it!

NObama2012!

+2

All that for a FAG. Barry gets your boney ass up here and sit down.

+2

Goddamn Limeys – They make their pomade from spotted dick!

0

Goin’ for the Reverend Al endorsement.

+1

Oooff, I need some Summer’s Eve.

+3

you sho’ is angry..

0

Fee-fi-fo-fum
I smell the blood of an Englishman.
Be he alive or be he dead
I’ll grind his bones to make my bread.

+1

Anchor of the freestyle scowl relay race. Moose division.

+4

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company…

+2

Michelle: Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father.

Barack: He told me enough! He told me YOU killed him.

Michelle: No, I am your father.

Barack: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO . . .

+6

We ought to ring their filthy little necks

0

this reminds me of the movie “full metal jacket”

Gunny Sargent Hartman: “Let me see your war face!”
Mooshell: “Sir?”
Gunny Sargent Hartman: “You gotta war face?…Arrrgh! – now that’s a war face..let me see your war face!”
Mooshell: “Ooooffff!”
Gunny Sargent Hartman: “Bullshit! you didn’t convince me..let me see your real war face”.
Mooshell: Oooooffffff.ack..ack..
Gunny Sargent Hartman: “You don’t scare me.. work on it!”

+2

liar, thief and whore.

+3

Gorilla Cookies!

+2

I’ve been suspecting this and this picture verifies it. She’s getting gray. She must be thinking that letting it show will in some way help O in the election.

+2

That’s cause she’s a silver back.

+6

Lipstick on a bull

+3

I think her fugliness has a dick bigger than ovomit.
She should compare hers to the Chyna wrestling thing.

+1

Michelle tries to order a 20 oz. coke in NYC….
“Wha’d'ya mean I can’t have one?”

+3

“Watch chew talkin’ about Willis?”

+1

Really? You can tell when I don’t have a wig on?

+2

My Preparation H is not working…..

+2

What you mean they ain’t got no French fries? What the hell they mean, American fries? That some kind of Churchill joke?

+4

Seeing that the reflection is the mirror does not retreat after her bluff charge, the large female escalates her threat display. In extreme situations, she may even throw fecal matter.

+8

She always makes that face when the Dog Whisperer goes, “Shhht! Shhhht!” at her.

+2

Ah mo’ mess you up!

0

You can take the girl out of the ghetto, but…

+3

Girl? Not my image.

0

That, is fugly.

+1

You have to excuse me, those lobsters ain’t sittin’ well.

+1

You here four hour! You go now!

+1

What a sour human.Her face is perpetually locked into the bitterness and hatred that dominates every aspect of her personality.A scowl against every virtue that makes America the greatest nation.Pure hatred for the people who voted her husband president.

+5

WOT YOU LOOKING AT,!( arnold )

+1

“I musta mixed up my Brillo with my Tampax again!”

+3

Just back the fuck up outa here Reggie, that ass is mine tonight………

+1

Crap ! I married that asshole !!

+1

Say what muthuhfuckuh………I be bitch slapping your ass you be disrespecting my nigga – Barrack!

+1

Lean any farther to the left any you’ll fall over.

0

If I keep leaning left like this, my farts fly over to the right wing.

+1

The experimental eyebrow tattoos were found to be the cause of her headaches, dizziness, irritability, and nasty disposition.

0

” Tamales comin’ back around”

+3

” I’m coming!”

0

I have to admit. Ann Romney is prettier than I am.

+1

Does this scowl make my ass look big?

+2

WTF is regiie doing to barry, now?!?

or…

So that’s what job experience looks like! Wow…who knew?

Actually, that’s the look on her face when someone with a job finally got around to telling Mooch the Squatch that money really does’t grow on trees!

DOH!!!!

iOTW’ers: Guys…THAT is one ugly fucking female…I’ve seen some really sharp black women in my days but this…looks like someone beat her with an ugly forest!!!

0

reggie….

0

The President and Mrs. Mitchelle Obama are in the front row at a Olympic games.
The row behind them is taken up with Secret Service agents, one of whom leans over and whispers something into the President’s ear.
As soon as he finishes, Mr. Obama grabs Michelle by the scruff of her furry neck and heaves her over the railing.
Mitchelle falls 100 feet to the top of the dugout, kicking and screaming obscenities.
The Secret Service agent leans over again and whispers,
“Mr. President, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!”

+1

Guys? I’ve seen better faces on an iodine bottle!

0

THE posterchild for birth control!

‘Do YOU want YOUR child to grow up looking like THIS?’

0

What you lookin’ at? You want a piece o’me?

0

“Are farts supposed to be wet and lumpy?”

0

Watching the Olympics brought back disturbing memories…
of sitting in her pappy’s lap watching Carl Lewis on the teevee.
When she was in her 20′s!

+1

Easy on the heat, you don’t want to burn the BBQ. Everyone knows, quality white babies are getting hard to find in these tough economic times!

0

“Get that broccoli out of my face!!”

+1

THE UGLY MOSAIC

0

Oh dear, did I break wind again??

0

This is the pic you’ll find when you look up “ugly” in the dictionary.

Recently Mooch said to Joe BiteMe, “if you can guess what I’m holding in my hand, you can take me to the barn and screw me ’til the cows come home.”

Joe takes one look and says “an elephant?”

She says, “Close enough!!!”

+1

[Looking in the mirror] DAMN!

0

Bigfoot confused!?!? Husband wear pink tutu & tights in MY cave!

0

What you lookin’ at, Honkey??!!

+1

And this is after my botox procedure

0