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Emulating the Flesh of a Chicken for Vegetarians?
This review talks about all the “pleasures” of sinking your teeth into animal flesh without actually doing it. Didn’t a guy in Florida get arrested for fantasizing about eating a kid?
So vegans merely fantasize about eating chickens. What’s so wrongggg?
The first time a vegetarian tastes Beyond Meat’s ersatz animal flesh, he’ll feel delighted and queasy at the same time. There’s something about the way these fake chicken strips break on your teeth, the way they initially resist and then yield to your chew, the faint fatty residue they leave on your palate and your tongue—something about the whole experience that feels a little too real.
“My first reaction was, if I was given this in a restaurant, I’d get the waiter to come over and ask if he’d accidentally given us real chicken,” says Biz Stone, one of the founders of Twitter, who has been vegan for more than a decade. “It has a plumpness to it, what they call a ‘mouthfeel,’ like a kind of fattiness. When you eat other leading meat analogues, they’re delicious, but you kind of know they’re not real. They’re missing something that’s hard to identify. This has a very realistic, meaty, delicious quality.”
I’m not a vegetarian, and I love real meat, but for various health and ethical reasons, I’ve long tried to cut down on eating animals. As a result, I’ve tried every fake meat there is. Every few years, a new one comes along, each promising unprecedented verisimilitude. A decade ago, there was Quorn, which is made of a fungus called mycoprotein and tastes pretty chicken-y. A few years later, there was Gardein, which has won many high-profile testimonials to its meatiness. (Ellen DeGeneres loves it.) My personal favorite fake meat is Field Roast, a kind of sausage that—to me—tastes nearly as good as the real deal. (A panel of Slate tasters agrees!)
Edith McCrotch
July 28th, 2012
Morning comes, and Neo is served disgusting looking goop for breakfast.
Tank : Here you go, buddy. Breakfast of champions.
He puts a bowl of it down in front of Neo, who just stares at it.
Mouse : If you close your eyes, it almost feels like you’re eating runny eggs.
Apoc : Yeah, or a bowl of snot.
Mouse : You know what it really reminds me of? Tasty Wheat. Did you ever eat Tasty Wheat?
Switch : No, but technically, neither did you.
Mouse : That’s exactly my point. Exactly. Because you have to wonder now, how did the machines really know what Tasty Wheat tasted like, huh? Maybe they got it wrong. Maybe what I think Tasty Wheat tasted like actually tasted like, uh..oatmeal, or tuna fish. That makes you wonder about a lot of things.
You take chicken for example, maybe they couldn’t figure out what to make chicken taste like, which is why chicken tastes like everything. Maybe they couldn’t…
Apoc : Shut up, Mouse.
Dozer : It’s a single celled protein combined with synthetic aminos, vitamins, and minerals. Everything the body needs.
Hybrid Lemon
July 28th, 2012
Hydrolyzed soy protein…
Shrinks your ‘nads down to nothing and raises your voice two octaves.
Does the same to a man.
Katechon
July 28th, 2012
I’ll stick with tofu, almonds, cashews and walnuts when I am avoiding meat.
Unneutral
July 28th, 2012
Eat whatever you want that makes you fool yourself about what you’re eating…..OR, just eat the real thing and enjoy it.
Sapper Chris
July 28th, 2012
Pass the yardbird, beef, and bacon, keep the faux meats for the smug, the libs, the tree huggers, the effeminates, and the folks who don’t need testosterone. When I want food, I want the real deal not some imitation crap. Don’t care what it tastes like, it isn’t chicken. I don’t even eat turkey based substitutes, so keep that crap too. When my heart explodes from the nitrates, fat deposits, and cholesterol blockage, THEN you can pry the bacon from my cold, dead, greasy fingers and gaze upon the satisfied smile on my face cuz’ I’ll die happy.
Drackxman
July 28th, 2012
What kills me, is vegans hate meat, but they still need to make veggies look like a hamburger or hotdog or whatever….. Isn’t that total Hypocracy ?
mizdoolally
July 28th, 2012
@ Drackxman! You took the words right out of my mouth. Why would a sane person who doesn’t believe in eating meat want to eat imitation mean? It makes no sense whatsoever. To me it means that they are NOT sane. They are loony!
FreeMan - ain't no bodhisattva
July 28th, 2012
I’ll eat it only if the hydrolyzed soy protein is free range.
FreeMan - ain't no bodhisattva
July 28th, 2012
Drackxman – ” but they still need to make veggies look like a hamburger or hotdog or whatever”
Why ever would you be taken back by this when Progs take a guy and try to make him a women for another guy and they take a women and try to make them a guy for the other woman?
4-Day's Ride
July 28th, 2012
Why masturbate about it when you could just have the real thing?
even steven
July 29th, 2012
Vegan: I refuse to eat anything that has a face.
Me: Me too. I always cut the heads off before I cook them.
charlotte
July 29th, 2012
Quorn is pure poison.
http://www.cspinet.org/new/200309231.html
and
http://www.cspinet.org/quorn/
approx 5% of people who eat this crap suffer sever allergic reactions.
Soy is an excitotoxin –full of glutamates and BAD for your brain and your body:
http://www.naturalnews.com/020550.html
People who consume soy have the greatest incidence of dementia and brain atrophy.
Lisl
July 29th, 2012
Bumper sticker here: Eat moose…10,000 bears can’t be wrong!
Angrymike
July 29th, 2012
Sapper Cris
You got it, steak, bacon and all the goodness of pork and venison oh did I mention Buffalo ? Hell I still eat pussy……;-)
Angrymike
July 29th, 2012
Charlotte
Makes sense, look at the libtards, they all have some sort of mental problems…….;-)
Czar of Defenestration
July 29th, 2012
If people want to eat meat, fine.
If they don’t, fine.
But why would anyone think that someone who doesn’t eat meat would *want* to eat meat if the “meat” didn’t have meat in it?!?
Diann
July 29th, 2012
As a recovering alcoholic, I share with you that I do not drink non-alcoholic beer or faux champagne or any of that stuff. In AA we have this expression: If you hang around a barber shop long enough, eventually, you’ll get a haircut.
If people are vegetarian for principled reasons, and we all know vegetarians are “my way or the highway” food Nazis, why the hell do you eat fake meat?
Corona
July 29th, 2012
I wonder which little children the vegans will fantasize they’re eating.
Stranded in Sonoma
July 29th, 2012
So soylent green, then?
Tim
July 29th, 2012
Well, if you can deceive yourself into slavery under socialism, I guess you can deceive yourself into the delusion that is meatless meat.
These people really are addled.