iOwnTheWorld.com

He and Paul Rubens should get their own sitcom.

These theatre owners couldn’t give a shit who goes in a jerks off but as soon as they recognize a celebrity they get their 15 minutes of fame.

Where ever porn theatre owners tend to become famous at…IDK

+3

Doesn’t he own a raincoat?

+2

Willard’s Anatomy
The Big Bang Theater

+6

The Jism Diaries
America’s Next Top Exhibitionist

+3

WillardsWood Tonite

+1

Martin Mull: “I told you he was a jerk off.”

+5

Raincoat Junction

+4

Get Smut

+5

-Fred Hitchcock

+1

Tinker Tailor Soldier Spunk

+1

Willard was just following Ernest Borgnine’s advice on how to stay young.

+6

Queen for a Day.

(Not absolutely appropriate, just wanted to break up the endless string of BFH’s avatar.)

+3

Monty Python’s flying Jerkus,

or he could host Motorwank.

+4

Fred said:

http://www.eonline.com/news/331743/fred-willard-denies-lewd-conduct-calls-arrest-a-strange-situation

0

The XXX Files

+4

Peewee’s GOLDEN Years… D’OHHH!

0

(Touch My) Tool Time

+6

Cleavage to Beaver

+4

The Cockford Files

+2

The Dick That Dyke Show

+3

Dick Tracy

+1

Cream Acres

+5

The Jack Off Benny Program

+3

Wankin’ Train

+9

Guilty before tried.

+2

Two’s Company

+2

Familiar Strokes

+6

Rubs

+5

My Mother The Carnal

+2

The Dating Myself Game

+3

Have Hands Will Travel.

+3

The Touchables

+6

Fred’s Great Adventure.

+1

American HandSpanned

+2

6 Inches Under

+2

Beat the C…

(Too easy)

+6

Burns When I Pee & Allen

+3

Souless Train.

+1

Waggin’ Stain

+5

Wack Adder

+5

Gentle Bend Over

+5

Yours, Mine and Ours. Or, Me, Myself and I.

+2

Route Fisty Fist

+5

Hidden Palms

+1

Anaconda. Part Deau

+1

Rawhide (stet)

+2

Southern Exposure

+4

I know what you did last night.

+1

Bishop Sheen

+3

Hand of Brothers

+4

Gifted Hands.

+1

NYPD Blue Vein

+4

Firing Line

+7

Seinfelt Up

+2

Bonanza!

+3

Buffing the Vampire Slayer

+8

Miracle Worker

+1

I mean boneanza

+4

Cool Hand Willard

+5

Slappy Days

+4

Mission Impossible

0

Hawaii Five Oh Oh Ohhhhhhh

+6

Gone With The police

+2

Eight (strokes) Is Enough

+9

Howdy Booty

+2

Since when is anyone in Hollywood shocked by anyone else’s behaviour?

+2

The Dick Van willard Show

0

The Real Wankers of Los Angeles

+2

Jackie Greasin Show

+3

B. J. Hooker

+1

Jerkers Wild

+5

Ironslide

+2

Man Icks

+7

Two and a Half Inches

+8

Barnaby Bones

+1

SloJack

+6

Three and a Half Fingers.

+3

The Howed He do It Show

+4

Tossed In Space

+5

Diners, Drive-ins, and Muff Dives

+1

The Glob Squad

+4

Pee Wee’s Playhouse

+4

The Orifice

+2

C.S.I.
(caught squeeeeezing it)

+9

McClewd

+2

Queer as F***

+1

The Secrete Storm

+2

Mr. Deeds Goes to Town

+3

Flipper

0

The Three Spooges

+7

Dick Fap Doh!

+1

77 Sunset Stripped

+4

How I Wet Your Mother

+1

The Twilight Bone

+4

Groin Acres

+7

Crank Yankers

+6

The Jerk Benny Program

+3

F Myself Troop

+5

Curb Your Enthusigasm

+3

(Hand) Soap

+1

Pinky and the Stain

+3

Three Fingers Company

+5

Tip/Knuck

+1

The Tug Boat

+8

The Spouter Limits

+4

Beavis and Buff Head

+7

The Spentalist

+2

I actually laufghed out loud at Beavis and Buff Head

well played!

+5

(Love Is In The) Air Wolf

0

Hand Hockey

+1

The Old And The Restless

+5

SploogeGob In Pants

+3

Family Splatters

+8

Quantum Leak

+5

Slappy Days

+2

Starchy Bunker’s Place

+5

I Love Juicy

+4

Are You Hornier Than An Eighth Grader?

+7

Doctor Spew

+2

Remington Squeal

+4

Nuts Landing

+4

Emission Possible

+6

Fantasy Self Service Island

+5

Flung Goo

+4

Hot in Clevage

0

Okay, No MAS!!!!

0

SpongeFred NoPants

+7

My Favorite Marsha

+3

Saved By The Belt

+2

I think we’ve found Debbie’s wheelhouse.

+2

SpongeFred NoPants

Winner!

+2

Too Close For Cum Farts

+8

An the all-time darkest, crudest, nadir of iOTW comments?

CHALUPA-

Too Close For Cum Farts

A round of applause.

+8

Doggie Hoser

+1

Thanks – I guess

+3

High Fapparral

+2

My Wad And Welcome To It

+7

The Courtship Of Freddie’s Fondler

+5

Miami Hand Vice

+3

Maulin’ Gherkin’s Wild Kingdom

+3

The Dicks Of Hazard

+5

Jizm Buddies

+4

Fappy Days

+7

Scrotum’s Heros

+6

Valley Of The Blow Up Dolls

+4

Spunky Brewster

+7

Hogan’s Hormones

0

I Love Floozy

0

The Beverly Thrilled-willies

+2

Beat the Press

+3

Mayberry S.T.D.

+5

The Red Gherkin Show

+3

Besmirched

0

F-Goop

+4

Babe Watch

+5

Make Spooge for Daddy

+4

21 pump street

+6

Two And A Half Inch Men

+5

G*A*S*H

0

Route 69

+1

9021oooooh

+5

Tool Hand Luke

+4

3rd cock from the sun

+2

Are You Hornier Than an 8th Grader?

+1

8 simple inches

0

Sex Hand the City

+1

Chico and the hand

+5

Scarlet Pumpernel

+2

Buffing The Vampire Sprayer

+2

Beat the cock

+5

Captain Yankaroo

+7

Jerks!

+2

Captain Wankerroo

+3

Yankenstein

+1

Leave It To Beater

+7

Phallony Squad

+1

Handy Manny

0

Kung Fu Grip Panda

+2

MSNBC’s new round table: The Circle Jerk

+1

Kukla, Fran and Oily

0

Extreme Yankover: Not At Home Emission

+3

Kyle KY

+1

Press the Meat

+4

The Dong Show

+5

Wankin Train

+2

Misfists of science

0

What I Like About Goo

+4

The New Adventures of Weenie the Pooh

+2

Sex And The Sitting

+3

Boy Meats World

+6

Seven Inch Heaven

+3

Winky and the Brain

+2

Red Rocket and bullwinkle show

+1

I Cream With Weenie

+6

The Three Splooges

+3

The 6 million dollar hand

+2

F(ap) Troop!

0

Cocky And Bullwankle

+4

tyler perry’s hand of payne

+1

Where the hand is

0

Whipsplash

0

Telechubbies

+4

Davey Crankit

+5

Karate Keds

(Remember that story, Chalupa? lolol)

+3

That’s So Craven

+5

Jim Hensons. The Humpit Show.

+1

The Salami And Chair Show

+5

Eight Kleenexs Is Enough

+7

The crew of There’s Something About Mary – hair gel boy.

0

77 Sunset Beat

+1

The Keds In The Hall (wink wink)

+2

West Schwing

+5

Pantin Place

+4

The Handy Dick Show

+3

That’s Indelible !!

+4

Eyewitness News

+4

The Spiew

+1

Gob’s Landing

+2

Kum Fu

Kum Flu?

0

Married .. With Children

+1

Dick Hammerer: Private Eye

+2

Overcoat Junction

+4

The Rifleman

Starring Spewcas McCain

0

Little Mouse in the Palmie

+6

The Wild Wild Wrist

+9

The Onan O’Brien Show

+3

Joanie Does Chachi

0

Spunky Brewster

+1

Stop! Or My Mom Will Spoo

0

The Unit

+1

Bosom Buttbuddies

0

One Spray At A Time

+2

Nuts Landing

+2

Desperate Hand Jives

+2

Late Night With Freddy’s Phallous

+2

Spunk’d

+1

Leave It Out of Beaver

+3

The Unit

+1

Little House on My Lap

+1

Deadwood

+3

McHale’s Gravy

+3

Knight Glider

+3

I Dream of Weenie

+3

Western Exposure

+1

The Antiques Loadshow

+1

270 some comments. you hit the mother load with this one. Love it

0

Easy on Fred Willard. He goes back a long ways. Time and again I’ve seen his face on TV and in the movies. What? You never got horny? Old as he is, he’s still getting it up. Adult theaters are built for lewd acts, so grow up already. More power to you Fred!

0

How about a movie like Slow Hand Luke?

+1

PBS will reassign him to be director of children’s programming. Never let a pervert go to waste.

+1

Dating Miss Michigan

(shaped like a hand)

0

My Only Vice

+2

Geez, I slept in (0430) and missed the boat. How about switching to products Fred could endorse? I’ll start.

Jerkin’s Hand Lotion

Miracle Whip

Cheese Whiz

Jimmy Dean’s Pork Sausage

Cornhusker’s Lotion

+1

Great job everyone! Pretty hard to beat Masturbate Theater but you’all came through.

+1

Fapsterpiece Theater

0

Hogan’s Hard-on

0

I Cream Of Jeannie

+1

Do You Want To Be A Sex Offender?

+4

According to TMZ, Willard is also “rumored” to be in pre-production for a movie entitled “The Yank.”

-Not my comment, but definitely needed repeating here.

0

The Hung And The Restless

Is this thread still active the morning after? Jeeeez!

+2

Next stop Anthony Weiner’s Campaign

0

Did any of you sleep last night? Holy smokes!

Spoogie Howser

+2

The Spew

+2

Phallus (Dallas)

+3

Jeez, who watches porn in a theater anymore?

Keepin’ it Old Skool

0

WadMen

0

That 70s Blow

0

Hardwood Squares

+1

(spanking) The Monkees

+1

The Dick In Dyke Show

+1

spank…”The MonKeys”

0

The Cumsters

0

S.W.e.A.T

0

@roadmaster

you missed one

The Handy Hand from the hamburger helper commercial

0

how about the romping room

0

hill street blue movies

0

NPR: All things perverted

0

Oh, he can haz a career in music…playing the skin flute.

0

“Jizz Hands!”

“Er, uh, Jazz, yeah, Jazz Hands!”

0

“Sex With Myself In The City”

+1

HollyWOOD Squares

0

Forrest Hump

0

I Dream of The Golden Girls

0

Different Strokers

0

The arresting law enforcement officer’s formal written statement of the incident and Willard’s mastrubation attempt reads as follows: “Courage and perseverance have a magical talisman, before which difficulties disappear and obstacles vanish into thin air. Sadly, the outcome did not have the desired effect that he had hoped for. The poor old bugger had no clue whether he was coming or going. It was the ultimate tear jerker. Bizarre sexual orientation disturbances such as paraphilia, necrophilia, pedophilia are common behavior in the Hollywood celebrity culture. What is the big deal here? Give Fred a break. Hoping to see Fred Willard and his former Roseanne co star “Big Bang Theory’s” Johnny Galecki at the next Obama fundraising dinner.

0