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This is as valid as all the Palin lawsuits that the leftards filed
Herman Cain probably did not make a sex tape with Kim Kardashian in the restroom of a Pizza Hut.
But a far-fetched lawsuit filed on June 29 alleges that the plaintiff, “Jonathan Kimberly,” witnessed the former Godfather’s Pizza CEO and reality TV maven making a sex tape in a Pizza Hut restroom in Shreveport, La.
iOTW has uncovered this evidence for the plaintiff
Kimberly is seeking a restraining order because he claims that Cain, who was at the Pizza Hut to “taste test his arch rival,” pelted him with breadsticks, and the reality star hit him in the face with a pan pizza “straight out of the [o]ven.”
The plaintiff also claims that Kourtney, the eldest Kardashian, is pregnant with Cain’s child and that Cain gives the reality TV family unlimited gift certificates to Godfather’s Pizza, as well as $9,999 per month — a creative allusion to Cain’s 9-9-9 tax plan — and is therefore violating campaign finance laws.
In perhaps the most incredible sentence ever written in a legal document, Kimberly claims that he needs a “restranging” order because “Herman Cain told me he is going to bury me alive in Tombstone Pizza”.
A spokeswoman for Cain told The Daily Caller that he had not formally been served with papers, and therefore could not comment on the case.
The legal blog Lowering the Bar first uncovered the lawsuit and made the connection that “Jonathan Kimberly” is probably Jonathan Lee Riches, a former inmate at Federal Medical Center in Kentucky.
ht/ jc lady
ruble
July 17th, 2012
The kardashian sluts. Papa must be so proud.
Poonces
July 17th, 2012
“Restranging” Order? Lol.
I doubt the fool needs to get any stranger. Now a “strangling order” I would support.
old_oaks
July 17th, 2012
This Johnathan Lee Richards cracks me up, read through some of his lawsuits.
CrustyB
July 17th, 2012
“Herman Cain told me he is going to bury me alive in Tombstone Pizza”.
Herman Cain is much wittier than that.
Stirrin the B.S.
July 17th, 2012
Sighhhh, why do we – or the courts, for that matter – give ANY attention to losers like this?
Every person he sues should, in turn, sue him for defamation and mental anguish. Keep him in jail, if not the court room, for a loooong time.
Czar of Defenestration
July 17th, 2012
This is all sooo W R O N G!!!
That was ME with Kim at The Hut.
I was *wondering* who was shoving that phone under the stall door. SHEESH! Can’t get NO PRIVACY ANYWHERE these days….
reader
July 17th, 2012
I could go the rest of my life without ever seeing another Kartrashian and it would still be too soon.
jclady
July 17th, 2012
Hello???? Tort reform!!!!!
jclady
July 17th, 2012
@Czar — In your dreams.
Alxandro
July 18th, 2012
Why are we even discussing the KardASShian cunts?
I’m sure Herman raised a Cain or two but I doubt he would waste his time with these Liberal poster sluts.
Czar of Defenestration
July 18th, 2012
@ jclady
My dreams have more hot sauce.