» News

Walmart BINGO

Home - by - July 17, 2012 - 23:45 America/New_York - 22 Comments

 

[SNIP] I actually saw 4 of those. Today.

 

» 22 Comments

  1. Jerry The Great

    July 17th, 2012

    …the hell is a “Pickel”

    Thumb up +4

     

  2. grayscape

    July 18th, 2012

    What if I’m barefoot buying beer and shotgun shells at 10am… Does that count?

    Thumb up +7

     

  3. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    Heyyyy…not fair! I just bingoed and I aint even there yet!

    Thumb up +7

     

  4. bbb

    July 18th, 2012

    Where is the “flashmob” square?

    Thumb up +8

     

  5. Sarthurk

    July 18th, 2012

    I’m just waiting for the remodel/expansion to finish so I don’t have to find something in a different place this or any week.

    And why the hell does Walmart here on the Oregon coast have a shitload of fishing gear targeted for fish that don’t exist here? Fark!

    My wife braved it there today, and her comment was, “Holy Crap”.

    The WalMartians survive.

    Thumb up +7

     

  6. ChiefIllinicake

    July 18th, 2012

    Bitch says whaaaaa!!!?????

    Thumb up +3

     

  7. iamthegps

    July 18th, 2012

    My friend works at our town’s Wal-Mart and about ten minutes before her shift started today a guy came in with shoes, a wife beater tucked into his shirt and his shirt tucked into… Batman underwear with no pants on. I guess there’s not a square for that, though.

    Thumb up +6

     

  8. Racist

    July 18th, 2012

    Only 4? You must’ve just been looking at a newspaper ad and not actually in The Wal-Marts! I can probably qualify as 4 of them myself… specially the “Fart”! I made Messican(ish) for me and the boy for supper tonight whilst his Ma’s at the beach with my Hi-Falootin In-Laws, eatin them scrimps and thangs!!!

    Thumb up +5

     

  9. Racist

    July 18th, 2012

    Yessir, sometimes I act like a kid, and ride a bike in the store… or a scooter, or a PoGo Stick. I don’t joyride on the floor buffer no more though… We’ll just leave it like that!
    It’s been near-bout a hundred degrees here for a month, and I’m the Sole-Perpirater of a Home Improvement Company (that somebody else built for me, of course), I imagine if somebody got their nose close enough to my armpit, they might tell me my “Right-Guard took a Left Turn!!!! What else?
    I ain’t got a Rebel Flag T-shirt (that fits anymore) But I did wear my Rebel Flag suspenders today
    And while I ain’t got puke on my shirt, and I don’t drank beer, ain’t got no hair for a mullet or a Rat’s tali. And Thank God I can stillbrush all of my teeth with them in my nouth!
    However, I did get called “Wolf-Boy” when I was a young fella, as well as Honest Abe, Old Man, and once or twice Fidel !!! Having a full beard at 13, 14 years old is good for buying smokes and eventually booze and nightclibs, but it has its disadvantages too !!!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     

  10. I Luv Bacon

    July 18th, 2012

    Cashiers sporting their slave rags always are the target of my ire.

    Thumb up +4

     

  11. Roscoe P. Soultrane

    July 18th, 2012

    Needs the “kid who is at least 5, still in a diaper and nothing else”

    Thumb up +6

     

  12. the aardvark

    July 18th, 2012

    Walmartians, thats a keeper. Sometimes when I go to Wally World I actually do feel like I’m in an alien environment. Its always interesting to see all the different types of of people there. And I used to think that K-Mart was low rent!

    Thumb up +2

     

  13. Hybrid Lemon

    July 18th, 2012

    Q: How come all the folding knives are always sold out in the Camping aisle?

    A: They’re not “sold out” – they’re stolen.
    Except for the one knife in the Produce aisle where someone was trimming the broccoli stems to reduce their weight.

    :-)

    Thumb up +4

     

  14. MNHawk

    July 18th, 2012

    Looks more like my last trip to the Sh*tholeapolis Social Security office, rather than my suburban WalMart.

    Thumb up +4

     

  15. F.D.R. in Hell

    July 18th, 2012

    What is a “Walmart”?

    Thumb up +7

     

  16. House of Kell

    July 18th, 2012

    LMAO….your bingo card sounds exactly like Edgewater Park at Cleveland’s Lake Erie….y’all ever been to that ‘whatever passes for a beach’, there? LOL…one can almost walk across to Canada on the debris….

    Thumb up +3

     

  17. norman einstein

    July 18th, 2012

    @F.D.R. it’s kind of a contemporary human zoo.

    Personally, I wouldn’t set foot in one if they were GIVING away that low-end crap.

    Thumb up +2

     

  18. bitterclinger

    July 18th, 2012

    There needs to be a weight requirement on that card. It looks like scooter city in there most days, and those riders are MEAN.

    Thumb up +2

     

  19. muddjuice

    July 18th, 2012

    Where’s the square for fat transvestite with g-string poking out of sweats?…..

    Thumb up +3

     

  20. Boobie the Rocket Dog

    July 18th, 2012

    @bitterclinger – Funny none of those descriptions fit the WalMarts around here. BUT…

    The scooter remark reminded me that the power scooters in WalMart for handicapped people are usually taken by young AFRICAN-americans for sporting purposes.

    Thumb up +1

     

  21. Jim

    July 18th, 2012

    What about “towels that smell like ass”?

    Thumb up 0

     

  22. Poonces

    July 18th, 2012

    Is there an separate, more challenging set of “factors” for when you get from your car to the front door and actually go in?

    Where’s the “wearing fuzzy slippers” space?

    Thumb up 0