Home - by Cardigan - July 18, 2012 - 19:00 America/New_York - 83 Comments
July 18th, 2012
“I crack myself up.”
Open wide, America and say “Ahhhhhhhhhh”!
Forward… Forward… For Ward. Four Ward. Four, Ward!
I’m so baked.
Giving himself tingles up his own leg again.
Almost half the people, still believe me?
*thought balloon* “Wow, these tools will believe anything”
And as any economist worth his degree will tell you, food stamps is the best stimu….
I’m sorry, people. I can’t keep a straight face.
“hehehe, he said Weiner”
I see a big F O behind him…wanna guess what I’m thinking?
True story. This morning, Michelle farted in her sleep and it changed the digits on the sleep number bed.
Joe, that tickles!
Choom Gang Revisited!
GM Car Of The Future
“These losers still think there’s actually going to be an Election in November. Hahaha!”
You didn’t create Solyndra, I did. Damn I’m the funniest guy I know. Gotta stop smoking this shit and giving speeches.
What I’m about to push out of my ass, I didn’t really do. Some one else did that for me.
Friggin gerbil is lively today.
These people are so gullible!
These people are such saps…I can’t believe how easy this has been.
You didn’t build that (then farts)…but that one hand been building up since lunch!
“I be seeing my magnificence through my third eye – WOWEE I AM THE GREATEST!”
That gerbil tickles, can’t wait for Reggie to try it.
Tell me ‘gain how pissed you is I be in da White House!
I can’t believe I’m still standing here!
I gots to squeeze a giant gasseous excretion from my lunch munch with Reggie.
He can’t get over my screen name…
Open wider Carney…yeah that’s it. A little more to the left.
Reggie Love is under the podium.
It’s his “O” face.
@BFH, “…Michelle farted in her sleep and it changed the digits on the sleep number bed.”
Hell…the way I heard it, the drapes caught on fire setting off the smoke alarm and the dog and three staffers succumbed to the fumes!
Stirrin the B.S.
Shrooms and Blazing Saddles will do it everytime!
Thought bubble: “I, I, I, I, me, me, me, I, I, me, I. Barry, I love you.”
Boobie the Racist Dog
“This is my impression of Lee Harvey Oswald. ‘Well, if it ain’t ol’ Jack Ru . . . ‘”
“This so much easier than George said it would be.
And to think, I’m not even a citizen.”
I’m half-white too, but black people think I’m Jesus.
“Release copies of my what??!!”
Chuck U Farley
Uh oh, does a fart have lumps?
Boy, Cheech and Chong are funny especially that pinching the loaf bit.
…’and then I put my hand on a Bible and swore to uphold the constitution’. Tee fuc£ing hee.
He just saw the headline on Drudge that says, Weiner pulls out.
Pull my finger!
Now Reggie love, you know your not supposed to dangle my balls under the poteum
just found out he and chris matthews will be starring in 50 Shades of Grey.
“FUCK,they know about Lavine!”
And then Reggie said, he wanted me to “stop that”.
Squeezing out a Biden dookie… “It tickles!”
I Love you Barney Frank!
Yeah! God, I’m good… They’re gonna buy this hook, line and stinker!!!!
“I can’t believe you fell for that ‘pull my finger gag,’ former speaker Pelosi!”
OW! oh shit the gerbil is on the move again!
what constitution gtfoh
Everybody likes my logo, it is so cool. The symbol for Hope and Change. Actually it is a graphic image of my bleeding hemorrhoids. Got you.
Oops! Pickle in my ass….there it goes.
Commandant Eric Lassard
“Now this first SLIIIDE… shows a very, very interesting thing: our main building. On slide… TWO! We see other view… of… IT! Oh, my God, you wouldn’t believe it!”
just got a wood at the uneployment report let me compose myself
“Ya know how come Chinese people have squinty eyes?”
BRAIN FREEZE! Dam hawaiian shave ice.
Y’oh, these mics look like two ninja babies with little fur fezzes!
No teleprompter lately, eh? Steve Jobs gave him a Retina Display prototype.
Dammit Joe…Let Reggie have a taste.
Whoops! I crapped myself!
And THEN I told them, “All of your health care would be FREE.”
“Let me be queer. No matter how hard I try, I can not fart like my wife.”
“tee hee thats some killer blow!”
I am so fucking high! Where the fuck am I?
Thats good choom…he he he
July 19th, 2012
I just love it when Michelle hides in the lectern
Caption? When I was a young man, used to hang with some Hells Angels bouncing at a long gone hot spot. They had a term, “MUNG”. My caption would be MUNG. That bitch.
that tastes like pussy
I farted and it stunk.
“This is how I look when Barney Frank is backdooring me.”
“I’m a f’in communist and the media still will not report it. What a bunch of ass kissers.”
“Jeez, I went to fart and I think I just shat myself. Those well paid White House staffers are going to have a shitty day in the laundry room.”
“This is just too easy. The Republican are such idiots.”
(Sadly, I’d have to agree with him.)
Awright! Joe, ya got me that time, putting magnesium citrate in a Sprite can and givin’ it to me half an hour before the speech! That’s a good one. Mind if I try it on Moo?
Nothin better than some good weed. Life is good on the 0 house. Give me 4 mo years!! I’m entitled:)
100 Fund raisers and 0 job council meetings, It’s good to be the King!
Dave in PB
I Know I Know I pulled that one directly out of my backside and they fell for it.
Ho Lee Chit
Damn it George, use more lube!
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