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Home - by - July 18, 2012 - 19:00 America/New_York - 83 Comments

 

h/t  Huckleberry

» 83 Comments

  1. conservative cowgirl

    July 18th, 2012

    “I crack myself up.”

    Thumb up +6

     

  2. dtm

    July 18th, 2012

    Open wide, America and say “Ahhhhhhhhhh”!

    Thumb up +1

     

  3. BigFurHat

    July 18th, 2012

    Forward… Forward… For Ward. Four Ward. Four, Ward!
    I’m so baked.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +16

     

  4. DavidD

    July 18th, 2012

    Metro-sexual.

    Thumb up +5

     

  5. bbb

    July 18th, 2012

    Giving himself tingles up his own leg again.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     

  6. cfm990

    July 18th, 2012

    Almost half the people, still believe me?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +15

     

  7. blahblahblah

    July 18th, 2012

    *thought balloon* “Wow, these tools will believe anything”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     

  8. BigFurHat

    July 18th, 2012

    And as any economist worth his degree will tell you, food stamps is the best stimu….

    I’m sorry, people. I can’t keep a straight face.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +27

     

  9. blahblahblah

    July 18th, 2012

    “hehehe, he said Weiner”

    Thumb up +8

     

  10. Menderman

    July 18th, 2012

    I see a big F O behind him…wanna guess what I’m thinking?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     

  11. BigFurHat

    July 18th, 2012

    True story. This morning, Michelle farted in her sleep and it changed the digits on the sleep number bed.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +33

     

  12. blahblahblah

    July 18th, 2012

    Joe, that tickles!

    Thumb up +4

     

  13. old_oaks

    July 18th, 2012

    Choom Gang Revisited!

    Thumb up +5

     

  14. GM Car Of The Future

    July 18th, 2012

    “These losers still think there’s actually going to be an Election in November. Hahaha!”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     

  15. Bad Brad

    July 18th, 2012

    You didn’t create Solyndra, I did. Damn I’m the funniest guy I know. Gotta stop smoking this shit and giving speeches.

    Thumb up +3

     

  16. Bfpa61

    July 18th, 2012

    What I’m about to push out of my ass, I didn’t really do. Some one else did that for me.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +30

     

  17. Dadof3

    July 18th, 2012

    Friggin gerbil is lively today.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +34

     

  18. chiggerbug

    July 18th, 2012

    These people are so gullible!

    Thumb up +4

     

  19. Cate

    July 18th, 2012

    These people are such saps…I can’t believe how easy this has been.

    Thumb up +6

     

  20. Atropos19

    July 18th, 2012

    You didn’t build that (then farts)…but that one hand been building up since lunch!

    Thumb up +3

     

  21. Efficacy

    July 18th, 2012

    “I be seeing my magnificence through my third eye – WOWEE I AM THE GREATEST!”

    Thumb up +3

     

  22. Melody

    July 18th, 2012

    That gerbil tickles, can’t wait for Reggie to try it.

    Thumb up +3

     

  23. bob

    July 18th, 2012

    Tell me ‘gain how pissed you is I be in da White House!

    Thumb up +3

     

  24. KWR

    July 18th, 2012

    I can’t believe I’m still standing here!

    Dayum.

    Thumb up +4

     

  25. Efficacy

    July 18th, 2012

    I gots to squeeze a giant gasseous excretion from my lunch munch with Reggie.

    Thumb up +3

     

  26. Death_By_Farts

    July 18th, 2012

    He can’t get over my screen name…

    Thumb up +4

     

  27. Jerry Manderin

    July 18th, 2012

    Open wider Carney…yeah that’s it. A little more to the left.

    Thumb up +1

     

  28. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    Reggie Love is under the podium.

    Thumb up +8

     

  29. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    It’s his “O” face.

    Thumb up +6

     

  30. norman einstein

    July 18th, 2012

    @BFH, “…Michelle farted in her sleep and it changed the digits on the sleep number bed.”

    Hell…the way I heard it, the drapes caught on fire setting off the smoke alarm and the dog and three staffers succumbed to the fumes!

    Thumb up +6

     

  31. Stirrin the B.S.

    July 18th, 2012

    Shrooms and Blazing Saddles will do it everytime!

    Thumb up +5

     

  32. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    Thought bubble: “I, I, I, I, me, me, me, I, I, me, I. Barry, I love you.”

    Thumb up +7

     

  33. Boobie the Racist Dog

    July 18th, 2012

    “This is my impression of Lee Harvey Oswald. ‘Well, if it ain’t ol’ Jack Ru . . . ‘”

    Thumb up +5

     

  34. Jethro

    July 18th, 2012

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xq2g0NUj_Mo
    .

    Thumb up +4

     

  35. Hybrid Lemon

    July 18th, 2012

    “This so much easier than George said it would be.
    And to think, I’m not even a citizen.”

    Thumb up +4

     

  36. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    I’m half-white too, but black people think I’m Jesus.

    Thumb up +3

     

  37. Joe

    July 18th, 2012

    “Release copies of my what??!!”

    Thumb up +2

     

  38. Chuck U Farley

    July 18th, 2012

    Uhhhhhhhhhhhggggggggggggggg …

    Uh oh, does a fart have lumps?

    Thumb up +6

     

  39. the aardvark

    July 18th, 2012

    Boy, Cheech and Chong are funny especially that pinching the loaf bit.

    Thumb up +2

     

  40. mkultra

    July 18th, 2012

    …’and then I put my hand on a Bible and swore to uphold the constitution’. Tee fuc£ing hee.

    Thumb up +8

     

  41. the aardvark

    July 18th, 2012

    He just saw the headline on Drudge that says, Weiner pulls out.

    Thumb up +6

     

  42. Mrs. Compton

    July 18th, 2012

    Pull my finger!

    Thumb up +2

     

  43. Renthal

    July 18th, 2012

    Now Reggie love, you know your not supposed to dangle my balls under the poteum

    Thumb up +1

     

  44. reddecaesari

    July 18th, 2012

    just found out he and chris matthews will be starring in 50 Shades of Grey.

    Thumb up +2

     

  45. Anonymous

    July 18th, 2012

    “FUCK,they know about Lavine!”

    Thumb up +2

     

  46. cfm990

    July 18th, 2012

    And then Reggie said, he wanted me to “stop that”.

    Thumb up +1

     

  47. Dano

    July 18th, 2012

    Squeezing out a Biden dookie… “It tickles!”

    Thumb up +1

     

  48. JIm

    July 18th, 2012

    I Love you Barney Frank!

    Thumb up 0

     

  49. kathy

    July 18th, 2012

    Yeah! God, I’m good… They’re gonna buy this hook, line and stinker!!!!

    Thumb up 0

     

  50. ericthetuba

    July 18th, 2012

    “I can’t believe you fell for that ‘pull my finger gag,’ former speaker Pelosi!”

    Thumb up 0

     

  51. grayjohn

    July 18th, 2012

    OW! oh shit the gerbil is on the move again!

    Thumb up 0

     

  52. mud prints

    July 18th, 2012

    what constitution gtfoh

    Thumb up +2

     

  53. montanarichard

    July 18th, 2012

    Everybody likes my logo, it is so cool. The symbol for Hope and Change. Actually it is a graphic image of my bleeding hemorrhoids. Got you.

    Thumb up +1

     

  54. Prezidizzle Obizzle

    July 18th, 2012

    Oops! Pickle in my ass….there it goes.

    Thumb up +1

     

  55. Commandant Eric Lassard

    July 18th, 2012

    “Now this first SLIIIDE… shows a very, very interesting thing: our main building. On slide… TWO! We see other view… of… IT! Oh, my God, you wouldn’t believe it!”

    Thumb up 0

     

  56. mud prints

    July 18th, 2012

    just got a wood at the uneployment report let me compose myself

    Thumb up 0

     

  57. Moxie Man

    July 18th, 2012

    “Ya know how come Chinese people have squinty eyes?”

    Thumb up 0

     

  58. CharlieWalksonWater

    July 18th, 2012

    BRAIN FREEZE! Dam hawaiian shave ice.

    Thumb up +1

     

  59. 66chevelle

    July 18th, 2012

    Y’oh, these mics look like two ninja babies with little fur fezzes!

    Thumb up +1

     

  60. Moxie Man

    July 18th, 2012

    No teleprompter lately, eh? Steve Jobs gave him a Retina Display prototype.

    Thumb up 0

     

  61. Mike G.

    July 18th, 2012

    Dammit Joe…Let Reggie have a taste.

    Thumb up 0

     

  62. Johnny Freedom

    July 18th, 2012

    Whoops! I crapped myself!

    Thumb up 0

     

  63. Billy Fuster

    July 18th, 2012

    “HEE-HAW, HEE-HAW!”

    Thumb up 0

     

  64. mrcobaltblue

    July 18th, 2012

    And THEN I told them, “All of your health care would be FREE.”

    Thumb up +8

     

  65. Alxandro

    July 18th, 2012

    “Let me be queer. No matter how hard I try, I can not fart like my wife.”
    {whooooooosh}

    Thumb up +1

     

  66. ChiefIllinicake

    July 18th, 2012

    Whoopsey…I queefed!

    Thumb up +1

     

  67. whosebone

    July 18th, 2012

    “tee hee thats some killer blow!”

    Thumb up 0

     

  68. sablegsd

    July 18th, 2012

    I am so fucking high! Where the fuck am I?

    Thumb up +5

     

  69. CharlieWalksonWater

    July 18th, 2012

    Thats good choom…he he he

    Thumb up 0

     

  70. Three Rivers

    July 19th, 2012

    I just love it when Michelle hides in the lectern

    Thumb up 0

     

  71. Bad Brad

    July 19th, 2012

    Caption? When I was a young man, used to hang with some Hells Angels bouncing at a long gone hot spot. They had a term, “MUNG”. My caption would be MUNG. That bitch.

    Thumb up +1

     

  72. Anonymous

    July 19th, 2012

    that tastes like pussy

    Thumb up 0

     

  73. Bad Brad

    July 19th, 2012

    Rotten,

    Thumb up 0

     

  74. Goldenfoxx

    July 19th, 2012

    I farted and it stunk.

    Thumb up 0

     

  75. BigJacket

    July 19th, 2012

    “This is how I look when Barney Frank is backdooring me.”

    Thumb up 0

     

  76. BigJacket

    July 19th, 2012

    “I’m a f’in communist and the media still will not report it. What a bunch of ass kissers.”

    Thumb up +1

     

  77. BigJacket

    July 19th, 2012

    “Jeez, I went to fart and I think I just shat myself. Those well paid White House staffers are going to have a shitty day in the laundry room.”

    Thumb up +1

     

  78. Robert Fine

    July 19th, 2012

    “This is just too easy. The Republican are such idiots.”

    (Sadly, I’d have to agree with him.)

    Thumb up 0

     

  79. todak

    July 19th, 2012

    Awright! Joe, ya got me that time, putting magnesium citrate in a Sprite can and givin’ it to me half an hour before the speech! That’s a good one. Mind if I try it on Moo?

    Thumb up +1

     

  80. NoLikeO

    July 19th, 2012

    Nothin better than some good weed. Life is good on the 0 house. Give me 4 mo years!! I’m entitled:)

    Thumb up 0

     

  81. Jeff

    July 19th, 2012

    100 Fund raisers and 0 job council meetings, It’s good to be the King!

    Thumb up 0

     

  82. Dave in PB

    July 19th, 2012

    I Know I Know I pulled that one directly out of my backside and they fell for it.

    Thumb up 0

     

  83. Ho Lee Chit

    July 19th, 2012

    Damn it George, use more lube!

    Thumb up 0