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Tonight’s Anus & Ammo episode: GANG BANG
No Joke: Al-Qaeda Operative Has Fellow Jihadis Sodomize Him To Widen His Anus So Suicide Bomb Can Be Inserted…
What the . . . . ?
Not only did the original “underwear bomber” Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri hide explosives in his rectum to assassinate Saudi Prince Muhammad bin Nayef — they met in 2009 after the 22-year-old holy warrior “feigned repentance for his jihadi views” — but al-Asiri apparently had fellow jihadis repeatedly sodomize him to “widen” his anus in order to accommodate the explosives — all in accordance with the fatwas [religious edicts] of Islamic clerics.
A 2010 Arabic news video that is making the rounds on the Internet gives the details. Apparently a cleric, one Abu al-Dema al-Qasab, informedjihadis of an “innovative and unprecedented way to execute martyrdom operations: place explosive capsules in your anus. However, to undertake this jihadi approach you must agree to be sodomized for a while to widen your anus so it can hold the explosives.”
Bad Brad
July 13th, 2012
Probably not going to be a very big bomb.
MAJ Mike
July 13th, 2012
Ahhhhh, this is what we can expect in a Moslem Golden Age of Civilization.
jmb
July 13th, 2012
well it aint like he’s gonna get any action on his looks…
serfer62
July 13th, 2012
Have you contacted the POTHUS?
It might not help much in your expansion or depth though
AQT214
July 13th, 2012
I wonder if cleric Al-Qasab ws telling ALL the little boys that he just wanted to help them become good little martyrs.
I never would have imagined such a sick melange of pedophilia, homosexuality and psychopathic bloodlust would be widely recognized as a major religion, but… there it is.
cfm990
July 13th, 2012
I shall call it Preparation H Bomb. The shit won’t hit the fan, til you detonate your can.
cfm990
July 13th, 2012
An IED on the Hershey Highway.
Chuck U Farley
July 13th, 2012
Oh yeah, that’d be my excuse too…
Oh, er, ah, I really ain’t homo, I’m just, uh, getting my daily sphincter-stretch for, uh, um…bomb insertion. Yeah, that’s it. Bomb insertion. I’m really a good mooselimb he-man woman hater.
No wonder Obysmal’s a closet muzzie. I bet when he hears the “prettiest sound on earth” (the Adhan) his ‘love canal’ goes all winky.
Billy Fuster
July 13th, 2012
Shouldn’t his wrist be at an angle?
Diann
July 13th, 2012
That is one of the best iOTW post headlines I have ever seen.
Bad Brad
July 13th, 2012
The Hemorrhoid Hiroshima.
cfm990
July 13th, 2012
Is the dynamite ribbed, for his pleasure?
Billy Fuster
July 13th, 2012
Muhammad Ass Fukked.
cfm990
July 13th, 2012
Bugger Bombs
Bad Brad
July 13th, 2012
The Flatulent Flash Bang.
cfm990
July 13th, 2012
Gay Grenades.
Poonces
July 13th, 2012
The guy has some serious ass-pirations.
beachmom
July 13th, 2012
Those guys who made the butt plugs according to polling graphs can probably help him.
AQT214
July 13th, 2012
He enjoys taking one for the team.
Alxandro
July 13th, 2012
The tighter it’s packed, the bigger the boom.
This guy doesn’t know anything explosives.
Muzzles and the Goatse connection.
Steve
July 13th, 2012
I bet this guy gets off like a bottle rocket!
old_oaks
July 13th, 2012
Why in Allah’s name does the suicide bombing Jihadi need to drag down the other Jihadis?
The other guys were probably stunned when they first heard the news. “WHAT? Why I gotta widen al-Asiri’s anus? Allah be with me.”
I don’t know why the wise elders didn’t just give him a football and tell him Allah said it was ok?
Roscoe P. Soultrane
July 13th, 2012
@AQT214: “I never would have imagined such a sick melange of pedophilia, homosexuality and psychopathic bloodlust would be widely recognized as a major religion, but… there it is.”
How can you be suprised? The Catholic Church (the institution, at least) has 2/3 of the aforementioned program, and they’re widely recognized as a major religion, too.
Hassan bin Layyed
July 13th, 2012
Abner Louima! Paging Mr. Abner Louima!
CrustyB
July 13th, 2012
So does New York legally recognize shoving a bomb up your ass as a marriage now?
Uncle Dirt
July 13th, 2012
Homos and hand grenades…
Unneutral
July 13th, 2012
That’s it, That’s it, stop the world and let me off.
Unneutral
July 13th, 2012
We need to keep you in the bedroom a little longer Achmed, we decided to go with the new improved super sized ‘Fat Boy’.
Bob M.
July 13th, 2012
And yet Christians get CONTINUALLY portrayed as the… “crazies”…
Chalupa
July 13th, 2012
Everything was going fine until he squealed like a pig.
Mr. Pinko
July 13th, 2012
And all this effort for what? convert everyone to Islam
friggin’ idiots!
Chieftain
July 13th, 2012
Are shoehorns halal…?? How about axle grease??
Cruisin' Cat
July 13th, 2012
Just come outta the closet, Achmed, you don’t have to come up with wild excuses for taking it up the manhole allah the time…
Toaster
July 13th, 2012
Is this where he got the inspiration?
Jethro
July 13th, 2012
Do you think he wondered if there were alterior motives when the line for the anal intruders extended all the way around the block?
reddecaesari
July 13th, 2012
@roscoe
name one catholic suicide bomber
AQT214
July 13th, 2012
36+ comments and nothing about tiny explosions in the ass from randy bi-curious Muslim hunks?
MM
July 13th, 2012
Hey Roscoe-first I wish to fuck you’d say that to my face-second, it was a wave of homos, WHO LIED their way into the priesthood, that have down this to the Church.
You and your ilk are lower than scum.
judgeroybean
July 13th, 2012
Cheater. He’s helping himself to those 72 virgins before he’s earned ‘em.
m00pa
July 13th, 2012
You can call it Jihad if you want, butt we know what you’re doing.
Aye somebody gots me Gravatar … you’re welcome I guess, just don’t park it in the nice part of town, I got a reputation to maintain.
whosebone
July 13th, 2012
Anderson Cooper heard saying he was anxious to look into this.
Hybrid Lemon
July 14th, 2012
There’s a Penn State/Sandusky joke up there somewhere.
Carbon Pootprint
July 14th, 2012
They were born that way
even steven
July 14th, 2012
“I never imagined training to be a suicide bomber would be such a pain in the ass.” –Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri
captiva
July 14th, 2012
Get banged before you get banged
Johnny Pickleduster
July 14th, 2012
Instead of going out in a blaze of glory he went out in a haze of brown.
Carlsonal
July 14th, 2012
I say we take off and nuke them from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
Death_By_Farts
July 14th, 2012
Laugh all you want. I said it years ago, it’s only a matter of time before the terrorists start “inserting” explosives inside their bodies so as to go undetected.
The next explosion we have on an airplane will be just this…Mark my words. Then we’ll all be treated to prostate checks at every security checkpoint in the country.
TED JUSANT
July 14th, 2012
NEWS FLASH,
Flying explosive caps kill 15 people wounding 5,
and caution SHIT STORM IN NEW YORK?
Jim B
July 14th, 2012
Shouldn’t he be using a camel stud for the expansion module.
Unslung Hero
July 14th, 2012
So did he get a ring before his “honeymoon” was blatantly ????????? Never mind!
pdwalker
July 15th, 2012
Very clever.
semen is a lubricant
The Moose is a special guest
July 15th, 2012
more sidebar fun!