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Barack the Magic 8 Ball

Home - by - February 15, 2009 - 21:55 America/New_York - 92 Comments

*UPDATE*Barack the Magic 8 Ball Deluxe Edition” has arrived – loaded with even more vague and meaningless blather! CREATED BY the IOTW design staff – with no cooperation whatsoever by Barack Obama! Warning: Don’t get caught with your speakers down, you will want to hear BO’s answers! So think carefully, pose your questions and press the button!

 

 If you’re like us, you’ve heard enough of Obama’s ramblings and incoherent answers.  And in response to your flood of emails praising the Magic 8 Ball, we will be updating it regularly!  Yippee, fun and Barack, who’d have thought?!

» 92 Comments

  1. Booker Danno

    February 15th, 2009

    I sat there and realized I wasn’t getting any answers that made any sense – so I knew I was channeling the actual Barack!!!

    Great job guys. This gets forwarded immediately!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +26

     
  2. pamc

    February 15th, 2009

    Haha Booker Dano! Funny Comment!

    Thumb up +1

     
  3. TED

    February 16th, 2009

    HYPE, our entire nation ran by Hypeman! You think he is scary, you should see who has their arm up his a$$).

    Thumb up +5

     
  4. Ira Zitski

    February 16th, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -70

     
  5. Bill J

    February 16th, 2009

    Since 1981, all the presidents have been cleaning up the mess from the REAL worst president ever-Jimmy Carter!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +47

     
  6. Bill J

    February 16th, 2009

    That damned 8-ball is addictive! I keep asking questions and laughing my ass off at the replies.

    Thumb up +8

     
  7. TopKat

    February 16th, 2009

    i did the 8 ball, i got the same answer 3 times, then a bunch of different answers. as usual, obama cant answer straight! yes, it is addictive, look forward to updates on it!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  8. Me So

    February 16th, 2009

    Ira you are so right we are still cleaning the stink out from Billy Klinton, Hey Ira I hear the toilet in the Oval Orifice, had to be stored in a hazardous waste sight, after it was clogged with all the Sh#* Bubba put out.

    Ira I think you should do something to help Mother earth. Eliminate yourself!

    Thumb up +4

     
  9. U Thant

    February 16th, 2009

    Barack Without The Teleprompter

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  10. UNsecretarial

    February 16th, 2009

    Barack the Magic……. 8 Ball.

    Can I send THESE as xmas gifts?

    Thumb up +4

     
  11. I hear a theme song

    February 18th, 2009

    Ba-rack the ma-gic 8 ball
    lives on the ‘net
    he will take care of you
    with his wis-dom said

    ohhhhh Ba-rack the ma-gick 8 ball
    will in-spire on cue
    just click on his tin foil hat
    the an-swers clear to you

    everybody join in …

    Thumb up +3

     
  12. tinaCL1

    February 18th, 2009

    Ba-rack the ma-gick 8 ball
    with his ramblin’ verse
    he’ll cause us all to panic
    with his mighty curse

    ohhh Ba-rack the ma-gick 8 ball
    free to everyone
    just give him a click on his head
    and the good times are undone!

    Thumb up +4

     
  13. tinaCL1

    February 18th, 2009

    everybody join in…

    Thumb up +2

     
  14. NIce Deb

    February 18th, 2009

    Ba-rack the magic eight ball
    And his commie pals
    Are using Cloward Piven strategy
    To take the wind out of our sails!

    Ba-rack the magic eight ball
    Is a marxist a-hole
    Don’t you dare stare at his nose too long
    Or you’ll see that ugly mole!

    All together now!

    Thumb up +9

     
  15. reeko

    February 18th, 2009

    u guys (and gals) have just made me spend the last 15 minutes cleaning the ice tea i just blew all over my keyboard… laughing at that damn song. dammit. what have yall got against my Dell? LOL

    PS: i actually knew and was pretty good friends with the lady who wrote Puff The Magic Dragon. her pen name, IIRC, was “Shelby Rene” and i knew her as the owner of the Moose Creek Lodge outside of Eielson AFB, AK, back in the late 70s early 80s. no shit.

    Thumb up +6

     
  16. BigFurHat

    February 18th, 2009

    You guys are an impressive lot!
    Who among you dares to send us an MP3 of your composed little ditty?
    We would post it immediately!!!

    Send to info@iowntheworld.com

    Thumb up +2

     
  17. BigFurHat

    February 18th, 2009

    Oh.. and BTW -
    the new 8-Ball (the deluxe version) coming soon!

    Thumb up +3

     
  18. I hear a theme song

    February 18th, 2009

    the lyrics I posted are sung to the tune of Puff the Magic Dragon

    Thumb up +1

     
  19. I hear a theme song

    February 18th, 2009

    reeko – very cool story. did you ever ask her what the lyrics mean?

    Thumb up 0

     
  20. reeko

    February 18th, 2009

    why, yes i did. we talked in great detail about it. cannot remember a damn thing. ummm, beer was involved. i do remember that she didn’t get paid royalties though (she would be very rich) and i believe she said the sum of 1500 was paid to her.

    let me try to think about what she told me. maybe my dead brain cells will come back to life… ;)

    Thumb up +2

     
  21. reeko

    February 18th, 2009

    i just did some google work and apparently the world thinks that Peter Paul and Mary wrote it. if i recall correctly, she told me she sold it to “somebody in college” so it could’ve been one of them.

    also, there is a reference to “Cherry Lane” and “Hona Lee” or Honah Lee, which through a daze and fog i remember, she told me it was the county/city (?) where the Judge Lee was (“Your Honor, Lee”) so the “land of Honah Lee” would’ve been that place. and close to the ocean, or an island. maybe Long Island? can’t remember… sorry. but it really was a children’s story about a magic dragon. she did not mean drugs. she did not like that.

    i don’t think she was making it up. she also played bit parts in a couple old TV shows, like Gunsmoke or something like that. she was quite a gal. she had a “Pantomime Phantasy” show they did every week there that was really something. kinda like karaoke on steroids – where u dress up the part of the song. good memories. foggy on details. LOL ;)

    oh yea, one of my former friends up there then married her daughter. lost track over the years, have no clue where they are.

    Thumb up +4

     
  22. Cadmus

    February 18th, 2009

    lost track over the years, have no clue where they are.

    Did u try the land of hanah lee?

    Thumb up +1

     
  23. 895LYuf

    February 18th, 2009

    Reeko’s got an MP3 in his heart, I know it!

    Thumb up +1

     
  24. reeko

    February 19th, 2009

    i sent this Barack the Magic 8 Ball to everybody on my list. they ask, can we make one for Pelosi? Reid? Frank? Biden? Hillary? ;)

    Thumb up 0

     
  25. big fur hat

    February 19th, 2009

    Well -
    First of all, we appreciate the Reeko blitz! Keep that kind of thing coming!
    But here are the problems we had creating those other balls:

    -The Pelosi balls were 85% plastic and were so tight the jaws wouldn’t move.
    -The Reid balls were covered with dry, crinkly gray hairs and you couldn’t see what was going on.
    -The Frank balls were fused to some guy’s chin, like super glue, so we scratched that one.
    - The Biden balls didn’t work. Biden’s mouth wouldn’t move without a foot suddenly appearing in it. So it was too buggy.
    -Hillary Balls – have you seen the price of Brass lately?

    Thumb up +9

     
  26. reekoooooooo

    February 19th, 2009

    OMG stoppit… i just took my medication and i’m daffier than duck. damn but those little pink pills are goooood! woooohoooo…

    on second thought, no, i wouldn’t want to see any of their balls.

    unless they’re crystal. :D

    (doesn’t she work at Hooters in Key West?)

    Thumb up +3

     
  27. cadmus

    February 21st, 2009

    Cmon Reeko… make the MP3.
    You’ll be an iOTW star!
    They said they’d post it.
    I can care less if it stinks.. I just wanna see if they’ll post it!

    Thumb up +1

     
  28. isamom

    February 23rd, 2009

    This is too funny! I going to send to my friends!

    Thumb up +1

     
  29. dr, giggles

    March 9th, 2009

    I love the 8 ball.. any chance of buying one?

    Thumb up +1

     
  30. reeko

    March 9th, 2009

    sometimes, when i take my medications, i sit in front of the ‘puter and play with Barack the Magic 8 Ball over and over and over…

    he… speaks… to… me… //snap!//

    hey! what just happened? :o

    Thumb up +2

     
  31. [...] But if you still have questions about how and what to think, you can ask the Magic Obama 8 Ball. [...]

    Thumb up 0

     
  32. Tom Mannis

    March 16th, 2009

    Are you guys out of your minds!?! When Barack Obama sees this mockery he will be very, very upset. I just hope you all have a good escape plan.

    Thumb up +4

     
  33. bigfurhat

    March 17th, 2009

    Looky everyone, THE Tom Mannis is asking if we have an escape plan.

    We were hoping to just be able to run faster than you!

    That’s all we got!

    Thumb up +2

     
  34. samdoc

    March 22nd, 2009

    This is funny as heck, I’m sending it out right away. One of my sisters may disown me for it, but what the heck.

    Hey Ira, you should meet her, I think you two would get along great, she is a liberal whiner also.

    Thumb up +2

     
  35. SLJAM

    May 18th, 2009

    I asked to see his REAL birth certificate and he said “It will take time and effort”. Should have known. I’m going to post a link on my message board! LMAO!

    http://upstatesc.proboards.com

    Thumb up 0

     
  36. HurrDurr

    June 21st, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -23

     
  37. potus

    June 21st, 2009

    Thank you, HurrDurr for being a useful idiot. Most thinking Americans realize that I am desperately trying to “change” America from an oasis of entrepreneurship, individualism, freedom, growth and prosperity to a mecca for parasitic sloths who can rely on the government teet and revel in the stagflation of collectivism.
    Thank GOD we’ve had control of the public school system so that we could produce the type of moron who wouldn’t recognize the dismantling of what made this country great.
    Good job, Citizen Fukknutz.

    Thumb up +5

     
  38. Irish Cicero

    July 16th, 2009

    Be nice to embed it on the blog . . . .

    Thumb up +1

     
  39. Irish Cicero

    July 17th, 2009

    Do you think HurrDuh would like my blog . . . ?

    Thumb up +1

     
  40. BigFurHat

    July 17th, 2009

    He/she/it would just love it!

    Thumb up +3

     
  41. RiteOnTarget

    July 22nd, 2009

    Wooohooo! potus! That’s the way to get back at those libby-sourpusses! LOL! They had their dings at Bush when he was in office, now it’s our turn to turn on the dings at this one! Oh, they can sure dish it out at the conservatives, but they surely can’t take it, eh? Ha!Ha!Ha!
    Notice to “HurrDurr” – potus said, “Most thinking Americans”…..well, guess you’re not in that percentage, hence, potus has you in the correct category, “a useful idiot”!
    RiteOn, potus! RiteOn!

    Thumb up +2

     
  42. RiteOnTarget

    July 22nd, 2009

    Ok, here’s my input to “Ba-rack the Magic 8 Ball”

    Ba-rack the Ma-gic 8 ball,
    signs a big bad bill,
    and when he can’t get any his way
    He’ll punch the dems on the hill!

    Ooooo! Ba-rack the Ma-gic 8 ball,
    Shuts his V – I – P,
    Poor li’l man, that Joe Bi-den,
    He’ll ne-ver get to be “P”!

    Oooo! Ba-rack the Ma-gic 8 ball,
    Says we’re all arro-gant!
    And then he apolo-gizes with
    The Euro-peans rant!

    ….all together now….

    Thumb up +1

     
  43. naio

    September 2nd, 2009

    I say, run Obama out of office in four years on a rail like that loser Jimmy Carter!

    Thumb up +2

     
  44. cfm990

    September 12th, 2009

    Yeah, I do need to tighten up

    Thumb up +4

     
  45. Jscheids

    September 12th, 2009

    haha! Great!

    Thumb up +1

     
  46. Mondo

    October 23rd, 2009

    This is inspired!

    (…although on a more personal level, I asked it 3 times “Am I going to make a million dollars writing next year?” And it didn’t seem to give me a straight answer!

    Go figure?!?)

    Thumb up +2

     
  47. Joanna

    November 2nd, 2009

    Sounds like political speech to the nth degree. IF he really said what is on his mind, the nation would fire him from his job.

    Thumb up +1

     
  48. Mr. Pinko

    November 3rd, 2009

    “you are all loosers”

    what’s a “looser”?

    Thumb up 0

     
  49. Anonymous

    November 9th, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -7

     
  50. steven broiles

    November 11th, 2009

    This was hysterical! On the serious side, I want to express my congratulations and gratitude to the great men and women of the United States Marine Corps on their 234th anniversary. Not joining was one of the great mistakes and regrets of my life. You brave men and women are the BEST! GOD BLESS YOU ALL. As for our accidental president, just remember: “This too shall pass.”

    Thumb up +1

     
  51. MrPooh

    November 16th, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -24

     
  52.  
  53. Jackpine Savage

    November 21st, 2009

    Ah, we have the illustrious Mr Pooh who seems to be fixated on anuses(Ani?), showing how open minded liberals are by wishing death upon those who disagree.

    Don’t you just love how these “Enlightened”, “Loving” liberals always revert to their true fascist selves when confronted with speech they don’t like?

    Mr Poo(h) You are proof that some “Open minds” need to be closed for repair.

    “Marxism is an Ism that’s soon to be a Wasm”
    Thomas Sowell

    Thumb up +6

     
  54. MrPooh

    November 22nd, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -14

     
  55. BigFurHat

    November 22nd, 2009

    Um, loonytoon.
    When the rich get richer, the poor get richer. Simple economic fact.
    And in your insane rant you never address why some phucknut is entitled to anyone else’s money.
    If people are getting tax money back it’s only right, it’s THEIR money to begin with.
    The government doesn’t have money to give people. The money they have has been TAKEN from the people.
    Another simple fact that you’re too insane to comprehend.
    Question:
    What SPECIFIC policies have the right instituted that prevents anyone from achieving any goal they desire?
    Answer that honestly and you just might do everyone a favor by cutting your wrists. It will finally dawn on you that you’re actually a loser.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +12

     
  56. MrPooh

    November 22nd, 2009

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -19

     
  57. Free America

    April 6th, 2010

    Like a Cow in the Field, Outstanding.

    Thumb up +2

     
  58. kono

    May 11th, 2010

    mrpoop writes: So, how it works to you is you relief some poor smo of his hard earned money under some promise you can make him more, all along knowing your just going to relieve him of his life savings, am I right so far?…um no mrpoop, you are not right so far….we cannot help it if you fell for some “get-rich quick scheme” and now want to blame it on capitalism. the problem with socialism is socialism, the problem with capitalism is capitialists. raising tides lift all boats….it’s just basic math dude!

    Thumb up +6

     
  59. MrPooh

    May 18th, 2010

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -8

     
  60. MrPooh

    May 18th, 2010

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -14

     
  61. Marc B

    May 19th, 2010

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -8

     
  62. FREE COMMUNITY

    June 15th, 2010

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -7

     
  63. the community

    June 15th, 2010

    haha, good one, but..scary. anyway is too late now.

    Thumb up -2

     
  64. Hajj Packages

    August 10th, 2010

    Now that was funny but makes me sad as well. There was so much when this guy came to office, all to vain. I guess there are no true politicians around these days, all are……

    Thumb up 0

     
  65. Hajj Packages

    August 10th, 2010

    Now that was funny but makes me sad as well. There was so much when this guy came to office, all to vain. I guess there are no true politicians around these days, all are……

    Thumb up 0

     
  66. Gadget

    November 23rd, 2010

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    Gadget Review Today
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    Thumb up 0

     
  67. Hilary Kuree

    December 2nd, 2010

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    Hilary Kuree
    escort girls warsaw

    Thumb up 0

     
  68. LorencoCew

    December 11th, 2010

    How I can download documents from WikiLeaks?
    Thank you

    Thumb up 0

     
  69. termites Brisbane

    February 17th, 2011

    Funny blog. That’s Obama.

    Thumb up +1

     
  70. termites control services

    February 17th, 2011

    Hidden due to low comment rating. Click here to see.

    Poorly-rated. Like or Dislike: Thumb up -7

     
  71. Hajj packages

    July 16th, 2011

    thanks for sharing..
    hajj umrah packages

    Thumb up -1

     
  72. Florida Girl

    July 30th, 2011

    hahahahah

    you so creative @Iowntheworld

    Thumb up 0

     
  73. jp

    July 30th, 2011

     
  74. The Doktor

    July 30th, 2011

    Now we have someone impersonating BFH on iOTW? I better consult my own ball regarding that one.

    Thumb up +2

     
  75. donde

    July 30th, 2011

    love it

    Thumb up +1

     
  76. IOpian

    July 30th, 2011

    That leftist is a lot like Barack The Magic Eight Ball… programmed to repeat the mental flatulence of leftist dogma hoping someone is as foolish as he/she/it is to actually believe they are original thoughts. Must be awfully taxing on his/her/its two neurons.

    Thumb up +4

     
  77. mkultra

    July 31st, 2011

    I asked him which was easier: shaving Michelle’s ass – or teaching her to walk backwards. Didn’t get a straight answer.

    Thumb up +2

     
  78. Uncle Al

    July 31st, 2011

    Q: Should we ignore you or put you out of our misery:

    A: The time for action is now.

    Thumb up +4

     
  79. Major Mal function

    July 31st, 2011

    Bravo BigFurHat! Now to turn it into a Christmas gift item and get filthy rich!

    Hey Mr. BigFurNuts, So tell me how this rich get richer poor get richer shit works, because someone has skipped a critical step, if I recollect.

    Mr. Poo Poo Head,
    It’s called free exchange, or Capitalism if you will. The rich man buys something from the poor. Something is produced and both get something they want (i.e. both make a profit). The total production of goods and services (that wealth to you) increases.

    In the Progressive (i.e. Communist) model, wealth is taken from the rich man and given to the poor man, after an appropriate cut by the confiscating middle man (read Government). The poor man produces nothing in this exchange and the rich man having learn learned from this bit of robbery, produces less so there is less to steal. Wealth decreases.

    Thumb up +2

     
  80. Mr. Pinko

    July 31st, 2011

    I asked “Should we impeach you?”

    He answered “The time for action is now.”

    Thumb up +2

     
  81. Bubby's Bib Overalls

    July 31st, 2011

    Q: Will you destroy America?
    A: It’s time to start doing things differently.

    Thumb up +1

     
  82. old_oaks

    July 31st, 2011

    HAHA! Shit’s getting way too complicated for me. = the notification sound on my phone.

    Sometimes I switch it out with.

    There are white folks and then there are ignorant mother fcukers like you.

    Thumb up 0

     
  83. TigerEyes

    July 31st, 2011

    Mr. Poo, I know how to end the problem right now.
    When we have a Conservative President only Liberals will pay taxes. All the taxes collected will go to Conservative candidates and Conservative organizations. All Union dues will go to Conservatives. Conservatives will have “Free Pensions”, paid for by Liberals. Conservatives will spend “YOUR” money.

    How long before you start screaming “that’s unfair”?

    All liberals get it, just like all bank robbers get it. You don’t give a damn who’s money you steal.

    Same problem with racism. Obama drones on about Slave Blood, yet he wants to make Americans his slaves!

    The only thing Liberals don’t realize is that when our money is gone your beloved Obama won’t give any of the spoils he looted to you! You won’t be needed any longer. Obama wants everyone to suffer, while he keeps everything for himself!

    Obama gets no respect because he has not earned it! Stolen money and a stolen presidency doesn’t crown you with respect.

    Thumb up 0

     
  84. workingclass artist

    July 31st, 2011

    Gee all I got was a request for Obama 2012 campaign money…

    Thumb up 0

     
  85. TooMuchTime

    July 31st, 2011

    @MrPooh –

    The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of blessings; the inherent virtue of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

    - Winston Churchill

    ‘Nuff said.

    Thumb up 0

     
  86. Bob M.

    July 31st, 2011

    Wow… combine it with Chia Pet Obama, and it’ll sell a BA-ZILLION! :-p

    Thumb up -1

     
  87. Chalupa

    August 2nd, 2011

    I asked the magic 8 ball if Obama should be impeached and he said “The time for action is now.” :)

    Thumb up -1

     
  88. Chalupa

    August 2nd, 2011

    Sorry Mr. Pinko didn’t see your post :)

    Thumb up 0

     
  89. Moonraker

    August 3rd, 2011

    If the rich get richer and so does the poor. Then, why is there a widening gap between the two?
    The rich person buys something from the poor so the poor gets richer?
    What could a poor person have that the rich wants?
    The middle class are even worse off,

    “JP Morgan Tells Investors Why Middle Class Americans Are Screwed”

    http://www.politicususa.com/en/jp-morgan-middle-class

    Thumb up +2

     
  90. Moonraker

    August 4th, 2011

    @ Major Mal Function
    “Mr. Poo Poo Head,
    It’s called free exchange, or Capitalism if you will. The rich man buys something from the poor. Something is produced and both get something they want (i.e. both make a profit). The total production of goods and services (that wealth to you) increases.”

    So, who is the poor?
    A business owner?
    Someone who owns a restuarant?
    A grocery store?, etc.
    For, as I said before. What would a real poor person have that the rich could posibly want?

    Thumb up 0

     
  91. child king

    August 4th, 2011

    @HurrDurr, Thaaaat’s it…oooooohhhhh….aaaahhhhh
    oh yeah, righ, righ, right therrrrrre…mmmmmmmmmm
    oh, oh, oh, ooooooohhhhhhhhh.

    Now hold still, I’ll get you a towel.

    Thumb up +1

     
  92. anarchocapitalist

    August 4th, 2011

    Hey, BFH, What did you do, sit down with IronyCurtain and Mr. Pinko and build robot caricatures of the dumbest progs you can imagine. You then had the robots comment on this post so that the rest of us look like we have 170 IQ’s

    WELL THAT IS JUST GENIUS!!! THANK YOU!

    Thumb up -1