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What Are the Safety Goggles For?

Home - by - July 2, 2012 - 17:00 America/New_York - 56 Comments

President Barack Obama wearing safety glasses, tours the Rolls-Royce Crosspointe jet engine disc manufacturing facility, Friday, March, 9, 2012, in Prince George, Va. Crosspoint facility manufactures precision-engineered engine disc and other components for aircrafts. (AP Photo/Pablo Martinez Monsivais)

» 56 Comments

  1. Stirrin the B.S.

    July 2nd, 2012

    They’re for when the shit hits the fan.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +42

     

  2. muddjuice

    July 2nd, 2012

    The wookie is getting de-pelted?

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +22

     

  3. Bad Brad

    July 2nd, 2012

    He’s poked himself in the eye several time while walking past a mirror and not being able the resist the uncontrollable urge to give himself a big old aggressive hug.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     

  4. Buck Ofama

    July 2nd, 2012

    For when Reggie lets fly with his “love juice”.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +28

     

  5. GI-had Joe

    July 2nd, 2012

    Sperm. It burns.

    Thumb up +7

     

  6. Tim

    July 2nd, 2012

    Axelrod told him he’d look cool …

    And Soros has a pair.

    Thumb up +5

     

  7. skillets and I tea

    July 2nd, 2012

    (in a dream) his son Trayvon told him they make him look all seal team6 and shit

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +25

     

  8. muddjuice

    July 2nd, 2012

    They have anti-Constitution coating and they protect him from harmful EV (enraged voter) rays of light.

    Little does he know that Sarah Palin secretly switched his lenses with ones dipped in TEA extracts, to which he is highly allergic.

    Let’s watch how this hilarity plays out now…..

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +22

     

  9. Czar of Defenestration

    July 2nd, 2012

    Like Buck suggested: BRONY SAUCE.

    Thumb up +4

     

  10. OceanSailor

    July 2nd, 2012

    So Zero can see the real world in his defeat come November. I can see November from Wisconsin!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +13

     

  11. Callmelennie

    July 2nd, 2012

    To protect him from the possibility of being attacked by plastic fork wielding Mexicans.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +35

     

  12. Other Mike in Brazil

    July 2nd, 2012

    They are the new Google glasses for POV porn! Thanks to the graciousness of Dear Reader, we can now watch ourselves getting raped. Thank you 53%!!!!

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     

  13. Callmelennie

    July 2nd, 2012

    Apparently three of the plastic forks from last week’s dinner have not been accounted for

    Thumb up +9

     

  14. nobarack08

    July 2nd, 2012

    to try and keep the shi^ he spews off his lying face when he opens his piehole

    Thumb up +5

     

  15. Left Coast Dan

    July 2nd, 2012

    And yet they do nothing.

    Thumb up +5

     

  16. coronet

    July 2nd, 2012

    Eating across from Michell. Arm fat and food flying everywhere …

    Thumb up +9

     

  17. Stranded in Sonoma

    July 2nd, 2012

    He’s just tryin’ to look all NBA and everything.

    Thumb up +4

     

  18. Gina

    July 2nd, 2012

    because biden flicks his boogers

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +14

     

  19. RedNeckRobot

    July 2nd, 2012

    Gotta use those dumbo ears for sumpin. They’re sure not for listening to American citizens.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +19

     

  20. norman einstein

    July 2nd, 2012

    He’s having a spaghetti dinner with Joey Biden.

    Thumb up +3

     

  21. giamby

    July 2nd, 2012

    They’re glasses from the future. He’s watching a spoof of “The Last Stand of Yakov Smirnoff” (from The Ben Stiller Show). In this episode, Barry is on the floor in the fetal position, sucking his thumb on election night, and repeating “but what will become of Barracko?”

    Thumb up +2

     

  22. Menderman

    July 2nd, 2012

    Tamale night at the White House?

    Thumb up +7

     

  23. Menderman

    July 2nd, 2012

    Where are the nose plugs?

    Thumb up 0

     

  24. Buddy

    July 2nd, 2012

    Oblabla heard that working people sometimes wear these at work. When they’re working at their workplace.

    This election Zero’s planning to portray himself as a bitter clinger. Someone that has been employed, legitimately, without affirmative action, or sponsorship, or criminal advancement.

    His actor bff Clooney (ie, butt-f..ing fool) taught him about the clever use of props.

    Thumb up +7

     

  25. Moe Tom

    July 2nd, 2012

    These are OSHA required. He was doing some manly work, like hanging curtains again.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     

  26. Moxie Man

    July 2nd, 2012

    That Goddamn umbrella get him again?!

    Thumb up +7

     

  27. Aaron

    July 2nd, 2012

    For pissing into those darned headwinds.

    Thumb up +9

     

  28. tenmegaton

    July 2nd, 2012

    To not get turfeye while duffing I mean golfing.

    Thumb up +1

     

  29. OceanSailor

    July 2nd, 2012

    To protect him from the wind farm in DC. All that hot air he spouts blows back in his face.

    Thumb up +2

     

  30. tenmegaton

    July 2nd, 2012

    Maybe he thinks no one will hit a pussy wearing glasses.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     

  31. Plain Jane

    July 2nd, 2012

    Acid protection. Bet he starts wearing them wherever he meet the unscreened public. He’s paranoid.

    Thumb up +2

     

  32. Uncle Dirt

    July 2nd, 2012

    pearl necklace protection

    Thumb up +2

     

  33. Stirrin the B.S.

    July 2nd, 2012

    He thinks he’s a rock star, so this is his Bono look. Yeah, I’m cool.

    Thumb up +4

     

  34. sTevo

    July 2nd, 2012

    spooge

    Thumb up +2

     

  35. Stirrin the B.S.

    July 2nd, 2012

    He puts on his rose colored safety goggles and declares that he has added 2 million manufacturing jobs since he took office. Aren’t I amazing? I mean really, don’t you just love me?

    Thumb up +5

     

  36. John

    July 2nd, 2012

    Michelle is recreating her favorite 80′s movie scene…’this is how Brundle-Fly eats’.

    Thumb up 0

     

  37. Jethro

    July 2nd, 2012

    According to the AMA all body fluids should be treated as biohazard. Anyone who may be exposed as part of their vocation (or avocation) should follow “universal precautions”, of which wearing safety glasses is included.
    Additionally, gloves should also be worn to avoid friction burn, or possible animal bites during “exotic” activities….

    Thumb up +1

     

  38. D-Bad

    July 2nd, 2012

    They’re bullshit splatter guards. Everytime he opens his mouth bullshit (and chicken shit and horseshit)spews out. He doesn’t want to get it in his eyes. He should consider wearing a full hazmat suit.

    Thumb up +4

     

  39. Joe Btfsplk

    July 2nd, 2012

    Those are x-ray glasses…used to see cash and credit cards in the wallets and purses of potential donors. Secret Service relieves them of this burden before they are allowed to leave, for the public good.

    Thumb up +7

     

  40. Roscoe P. Soultrane

    July 2nd, 2012

    Give me an “Angry Pirate” one time, shame on you. Give me an “Angry Pirate” seventeen or more times, shame on me.

    - President Obama

    Thumb up +2

     

  41. CharlieWalksonWater

    July 2nd, 2012

    must’ve been some mexicans nearby armed with forks.

    Thumb up +4

     

  42. Immortal Fish

    July 2nd, 2012

    Bath salts in bath houses.

    Thumb up +3

     

  43. General Ripper

    July 2nd, 2012

    Roscoe – I also heard that President On-The-Down-Low is into Chili Dogs, Supermans and Felching with a straw – “I can’t suck all this stuff up with a straw, ya know” – President OTDL

    Thumb up 0

     

  44. Jim

    July 2nd, 2012

    Larry Sinclair’s seamon?

    Thumb up +3

     

  45. old_oaks

    July 2nd, 2012

    To keep the bullshit in.

    Thumb up +2

     

  46. bocephus rex

    July 2nd, 2012

    DANG that Clooney’s back door is diiiiiiiirrrrrrty!

    Thumb up +1

     

  47. Sapper Chris

    July 2nd, 2012

    He needs them ever since that last nasty cocksucking accident happened at the Ayers’ house.

    Thumb up +1

     

  48. GM Car Of The Future

    July 2nd, 2012

    When his Chevy VOLT explodes.

    Thumb up +2

     

  49. Debbie

    July 2nd, 2012

    Moose Filters. Gives everything that hazy, twinkly effect, like they’re watching Warren Beatty.

    Thumb up +1

     

  50. holychris

    July 2nd, 2012

    Standard prep for his weekly “staff” meeting

    Thumb up +1

     

  51. Bob M.

    July 3rd, 2012

    “What Are the Safety Goggles For?”

    He’s operating crayons again? :roll:

    Thumb up +2

     

  52. House of Kell

    July 3rd, 2012

    Teleprompter glasses…come on, y’all…you know the fuckstick can’t wipe his own ass without a cue……

    @Ocean Sailor: LOL…funny, I can see it from Ohio, too!!!

    Thumb up 0

     

  53. House of Kell

    July 3rd, 2012

    …and when they’re not being used in ‘teleprompter’ mode, they play continous loop of stalins’, lenins’, hitlers’, pol pots’, lil kim ll dongs’ & che’s best speeches….evah…lest he forget his true mission and the KGB or the iranian quds have to reeducate his sorry faggot ass…black muslim faggots they’ll tolerate, a free, original thought? Never in a million years…..

    Thumb up 0

     

  54. Death_By_Farts

    July 3rd, 2012

    Actually, they are to protect his eyes from all the bright red on the coming electoral map in November.

    Thumb up 0

     

  55. Tim

    July 3rd, 2012

    When you’re flinging BS I do believe they’re OSHA required.

    Thumb up 0

     

  56. reddecaesari

    July 4th, 2012

    @strandedinsonoma

    barry got game.

    Thumb up 0