Wow. Earth shattering. Someone figured out that all of Tom Cruise’s “marriages” ended when his wives turned 33.
People are now scrambling to see if there is deeper meaning to this. I really don’t think there is anything all that deep about Tom Cruise, besides his roomy colon.
We did some work for the numerologists who are racking their brains finding “33″ connections.
- Tom went through 32 other last names before he decided on “Cruise.” The other 32 were dismissed because they weren’t quite gay enough.
Some other names were: Tom Lube, Tom Fabulous, Just Tom, Tom Closet, Tom Sparkle and Tom Gurl.
- 33 is his locker number at Man Country.
- 33 is his text code for, “The wife and kids are out, come over in the plumbing company truck I bought you.”
- 33 is the amount of AIDS tests he’s taken.
- There are 33 letters in the phrase, “Scientology distracts from my gayness.”
- 3.3″ is the size of the lifts in his shoes.