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The Second Amendment and the Bath Salt Zombie Apocalypse
To the countless reasons we need to exercise our natural right to bear arms we can now add the bath salt zombie apocalypse:
Horrific assaults in which users of a substance known as ‘bath salts’ have eaten victims’ flesh have given rise to speculation that America is in the throes of a ‘zombie apocalypse’. …
Bath salts have been linked to a number of disturbing cases over the past month – including that of Rudy Eugene, who was shot dead by police as he bit off most of his homeless victim’s face. Officers in Miami opened fire after Eugene ignored their orders to stop, snarling at them as he stood over 65-year-old Ronald Poppo, who was left partially blind.
Other colorful incidents inspired by bath salts include:
In Lafayette, Louisiana, 42-year-old Carl Jacquneaux is alleged to have torn off part of his neighbour’s cheek – and is believed to have taken bath salts or a similar drug. Todd Credeur, 48, is married to Jacquneaux’s ex-wife and said he only managed to escape by spraying wasp poison in the man’s face.
Meanwhile, again in Miami, homeless Brandon de Leon threatened to eat a police officer after he was arrested during a fight at a restaurant. The 21-year-old gnashed his teeth, growled and tried to bite the man, who was tending to his self-inflicted wounds after he smashed his own head against the inside of a patrol car and then on the walls of a cell.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
June 26th, 2012
That’s Nancy Pelosi’s high school picture, right?
MNHawk
June 26th, 2012
It could just be as simple as the kind of retard that would smoke Calgon is the same kind of retard susceptible to Monkey See Monkey Do syndrome.
Noah
June 26th, 2012
It’s not just bath salts.
Check this article out..
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2164949/Michael-Terron-Daniel-arrested-killing-eating-dog-high-synthetic-marijuana.html
StumpManNC
June 26th, 2012
Always figured it would be a toxic leak or a scientific experiment gone wrong. Didn’t imagine that bath salts would kick off the zombie apocalypse.
Progs count as zombies. That’s why they are always attacking republicans. Can’t find any brains in their own party.
Anonymous
June 26th, 2012
I can fix that with a 12 gauge…
RANDO
June 26th, 2012
Oil up your AA 12!
Unneutral
June 26th, 2012
To the countless reasons we need to exercise our natural right to bear arms we can now add the bath salt zombie apocalypse:
The present administration is more than reason enough to bear arms.
Cotton Pickin' Cracker
June 26th, 2012
Just remember, you have to shoot ‘em in the head
to kill ‘em.
Tim
June 26th, 2012
Anyone notice that all the bath salt zombies are also Obamabots?
Brooke
June 26th, 2012
Double tap. Don’t get stingy with the ammo.
Boobie the Rocket Dog
June 26th, 2012
Y’mean it doesn’t take a silver stake shaped like a cross poundewd into the heart?
Or is that vampires? That shit’ll be next, just wait.
Roscoe P. Soultrane
June 26th, 2012
@Brooke: “Double tap. Don’t get stingy with the ammo.”
Follow the advice of tank gunners – shoot until the target changes shape or catches fire.
Doc
June 26th, 2012
When we train we say “Shoot ‘em to the ground!”
pdwalker
June 26th, 2012
wow, talk about a drug giving you the munches!
Blacksmith8✡
June 27th, 2012
“Last man standing” just got literal.