iOwnTheWorld.com

Well the bicyclists suck too, but one of these clowns just kissed the front end of a Yukon head on coming up my little remote hilly street.

+6

Exactly. I hate those speedo wearing road hogs.

+9

This is when the passenger sticks his arm out and slaps each doofus upside the head.

+9

All the bicyclists I’ve seen are dressed exactly the same; like Lance Armstrong going for TdF victory number 8. Everytime I see one I call them Lance. Short for Lance-wannabe.

The other day, I was driving in my van in the right lane of a four lane road. There was a car in the left lane behind me but accelerating. To my right, in the street but close to the white line was a bicyclist. I got as close as I could to the other lane but couldn’t enter because of the other car. As I passed Lance, he let out a string of profanity and was screaming about bike lanes and “sharing the road.” I flipped him off and kept on going. He then rode up onto the sidewalk, entered the bike path and rode away.

What Lance seems to have missed is that the bike lane is on the other side of the street. There is no bike lane on the side we were on. The sidewalk is the bike lane because it is about double width of a normal sidewalk. Also, it is clearly marked. At the corner, where you enter the sidewalk from the crosswalks, there is painted on the ground, clearly, a bicycle with an arrow pointing the direction of the sidewalk. About 20 feet further on, right in the middle of the sidewalk, is the same bicycle and arrow painted for all to see. The arrow points toward the bike path.

Lance just likes to piss off the drivers because he thinks the bike lane is wherever he happens to be riding. One day, he’s going to get hit there and hopefully the driver will be cleared because Lance doesn’t use the clearly marked bike lane.

They’re all schmucks.

+8

I’d hit the second one just for wearing those socks

+4

@Stranded in Sonoma

Wow, 300 points?
Dirtbag skateboarders are only worth 15 points each around here!
Or is the 300 points with a combo bonus for getting all 6?

+8

Fuck bicyclists AND skateboarders! Didn’t you mommy tell you to keep your toys out of the street??

+3

@stranded: My thoughts exactly. The minute I saw the photo, I figured the white truck could make 500 points free and clear if he’d get ‘em but leave the skates in play. I be BAD.

+3

Fun hint #23: They apparently lose balance
upon hearing 2″ drag pipes. Even when listening
to whatever shit is on their iPod. Enjoy.

+6

Roads are for automobiles. Stay off unless you want to be a smear on the asphalt.

@ Gvii

Perfectly said. Arrogance overcomes wisdom….

+5

@”That Guy” — They’re 10 points a piece. An extra 10 points each because they’re on skateboards. An extra 30 point bonus each for taking them out sequentially.

+1

And I’ll throw in a 200 point bonus if, as @Joe says, you leave all of the skateboards in play.

+2

On a two lane road I had to slow way down to wait for oncoming traffic so I could get around two dipshits riding side by side. When it was clear to go around them I mashed the pedal without down shifting my older diesel p.u. and all I could see in the rearview was traffic had to stop because of the hugh black cloud of smoke. I’m sure they had trouble breathing for awhile.

+5

A big spear welded to the hood. Try to shish-kabob all 6.

+4

The bicycle laws need to be revisited and ammended. They were put in place when cars didn’t go much faster than bikes. Times have changed….

+5

@Corona: I hope I’m not out walking my dog when you come through. @Stranded: We think alike. I can just see those empty skates on the road. Ha!

+1

I will have respect for the bike rider when I see them stop for , Red lights, stop signs, & signal & not pass on the right !! you know, kinder like obey the traffic laws !!!

+2

I pay the same taxes y’all do to use the PUBLIC roads. Doesn’t matter if I’m driving a car or riding a bike. If there’s a bike lane, I use it. If not, I don’t. Plus, I’m under no obligation to ride through the crap that accumulates by the side of the road, the same way that I’m not obligated to drive through it.

You drivers are lucky that the average serious cyclist tends to be a liberal pinko, however I’m not, and I carry a gun when riding. If you try to kill or maim me with your car, you can expect me to try to kill you right back. Turnabout is fair play.

+3

@ P eater

Stay on the sidewalk and no one gets hurt….

+6

@JBee — If the bicyclists want to share the road, then they have to share the rules of the road. I am in total agreement with you.

@Peter — True. But you are one in a million. Here are the other 999,999.

+5

The li’l chillens do this in the town I live outside of, but they get off the road when a vehicle approaches.

+2

@Stranded: Don’t get me started on those critical massholes….the last year that I spent in NYC I kept off the bike on the days they were ‘riding’.

+1

@muddjuice: So you’re suggesting that I break/ignore the law for your convenience? Try this instead: you see a two-wheeled asshat, take their picture and turn it over to the police. Bonus points if you also document a violation. Have your friends/family do the same. It’ll take awhile, but eventually the jerk will find him/herself in front of a judge trying to justify their behavior. If you happen to find out where they live, take note of their car and plate number. Chances are that they’re jerks behind the wheel as well.

+2

How about a license plate and registration for these arrogant jerks. Maybe a few $300 traffic tickets would put an end to the road games.

+2

@ Peter

There ain’t a cop in America that would write you a ticket for riding your bike on the sidewalk. Unless you went out of your way to run over little kids, dogs, grandmothers or other people walking on the sidewalk.

And it isn’t for “my convenience”. As Gvii said, “arrogance overrides wisdom…”

+1