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Hey, Guess What? Me and Barack are MARRIED!!!!!!

Home - by - June 21, 2012 - 21:30 America/New_York - 46 Comments

Michelle Campaign E-Mail: Barack’s Your Husband, Too

Ben Shapiro

The Obama campaign has sunk to a new low. Today, Michelle Obama sent an email to the entire campaign list, titled “Being married to Barack.” It is precisely what you’d expect: maudlin and ridiculous. Cue the music from Love Story:

 

 

Benjamin –

For the first 10 years of our marriage, Barack and I lived in an apartment in my hometown of Chicago.

The winters there can be pretty harsh, but no matter how snowy or icy it got, Barack would head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work.

In all our years of marriage, he’s always looked out for me. Now, I see that same commitment every day to you and to this country.

The only way we’ll win this election is if we can rely on one another like that, all the way to November 6th.

You should know that your recent donation means a lot to both of us.

Barack is working hard, but he can’t do this alone — he needs your help.

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ht. kpark

» 46 Comments

  1. serfer62

    June 21st, 2012

    and Reggie Love is jealous too…

    Thumb up +9

     
  2. scribble

    June 21st, 2012

    “Barack would head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work.”

    So that’s where he got all that “shovel ready” bullshit.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +11

     
  3. scribble

    June 21st, 2012

    “You should know that your recent donation means a lot to both of us.”

    translation: “Because me and barack are gonna need some vacation cash after January 20, 2013.”

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +17

     
  4. Wyatt, Insensitive Jerk

    June 21st, 2012

    To be honest, this is better than being married to Barack. Sure, it’s expensive and costs me a lot of money, but I get screwed more often.

    Thumb up +9

     
  5. Stirrin the B.S.

    June 21st, 2012

    We’re witnessing a campaign in desperation mode. Oblowme can’t win votes on his own. He needs his “wife” to shill/gain sympathy votes for him.

    He’s shrinking before our very eyes. He’s irrelevant and a joke. He now needs surrogates to prop him up.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +16

     
  6. bitterclinger

    June 21st, 2012

    Barry’s so freakin’ lazy the only thing he shoveled that was white was some blow on a teeny, tiny spoon.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +16

     
  7. Moe Tom

    June 21st, 2012

    What a fucking bunch of shit.

    Noteworthy Comment Thumb up +10

     
  8. Rightwingfeather

    June 21st, 2012

    Don’t hate me, but I actually approve of what she is wearing.

    Thumb up +3

     
  9. old_oaks

    June 21st, 2012

    Dear Moochie,

    I still dig the fat bitch’s car out, because it’s the right thing to do.

    Love,

    Barry

    Thumb up +2

     
  10. Sarthurk

    June 21st, 2012

    Betcha that ass is Photoshopped. The whole premise of this BS is effectually Photoshopped as well.

    Thumb up +3

     
  11. reddecaesari

    June 21st, 2012

    i just went to http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com.

    ordered them some bath salts.

    Thumb up +6

     
  12. Cynic

    June 21st, 2012

    These people truly think we are stupid. The blatant attempts at manipulation are nauseating. Of course, they work on the stupid people who will likely vote for him, so why not?

    Thumb up +2

     
  13. Moe Tom

    June 21st, 2012

    De ya know that Moooshelle’s great, great, great, great, grandaddy, was the ugly son of a fuckin’absentee landlord,protestant, bastard from the North of Ireland, who fled to America, and sold guns to the Indians, spyed for the North while working in the South, spyed for the South also, Owned slaves, and fucked many of them. He was so fucking ugly no white georgian lass would even look at him, despite his money. Now Moosehell comes from somewhere along the line and it gets somewhat befuddeled around 1914. Difficult to follow but I will try to endevour.

    Thumb up +6

     
  14. old_oaks

    June 21st, 2012

    @ Cynic, yup! Just recently read about how Nigerian email scammers act stupid because it attracts the ID10Ts. You should feel grateful you don’t fall for it because you’re smarter than they folks they’re targeting.

    Thumb up +2

     
  15. Chuck U Farley

    June 21st, 2012

    Hey Mooch, get a clue.

    He wanted you out of the house so he could head on over to Man’s Country.

    Thumb up +7

     
  16. sablegsd

    June 21st, 2012

    ESAD, you fugly, racist, stupid beard.

    Thumb up +3

     
  17. Gvii

    June 21st, 2012

    Awesome. Last Sunday they asked us to send him Father’s Day wishes. Somehow, he became our father.

    Then they send out this email, and we’re married to him?

    Yeah, that ain’t creepy. Not at all.

    Does anyone on that campaign staff have a brain in their head? Or are they just so arrogant and/or stupid and/or desperate that they are incapable of realizing how this crap comes across? Fishing for email addresses, attempting to assert him as some sort paternal figure, etc. I don’t know what he’s blowing so much of his campaign cash on, but if more than a buck fifty a week is staff’s payroll, he’s getting seriously ripped off.

    Thumb up +1

     
  18. Jim

    June 21st, 2012

    WTF!!!??? What’s Larry Sinclair have to say about this?
    @ Gvii: No. Few who have spoken to Obama have one.

    Thumb up +2

     
  19. Racist

    June 21st, 2012

    “Barack would head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work.”

    Because he wanted your fat ass to work and support his and Reggie’s Hot Tob Hookups. And just like now, about all he’s willing to do is make sure the fruits of somebody else’s labor are directed to him and his fag friends!!!

    Thumb up +5

     
  20. mkultra

    June 21st, 2012

    Can’t wait until that domesticated waterbuffalo saturates the white house with her absence. That should be a very profitable week for fumigation service providers.

    Thumb up +6

     
  21. Friend of the family

    June 21st, 2012

    Back in Chicago after his defeat, Obama sits across from his secretary and gazes out his office window at the brisk, January cold crystallizing the snow faster than it can fall. Michelle didn’t do enough. She never could because she never really tried, and that’s why he’s back in his neighborhood, a lost man. His sits up for moment and composes himself before telling his mistress, “Take a letter, Maria. Address it to my wife. Tell her I won’t be coming home…”

    Thumb up +4

     
  22. John Pomeroy

    June 21st, 2012

    What does it mean that this post ID ends in 666? (?p=138666)

    Thumb up +1

     
  23. Jimmy

    June 21st, 2012

    Are those her hips?

    I was imagining a side of beef under there.

    Thumb up +4

     
  24. Johnny Pickleduster

    June 21st, 2012

    After her lettin’ loose all o’ her toxic farts generated by her greasy diet into those sofa cushions I’ll bet they had to take that couch out into the backyard and burn it!

    Thumb up +2

     
  25. CharlieWalksonWater

    June 21st, 2012

    Doesnt sound like the Bury Obomba I know.

    Thumb up +2

     
  26. Moe Tom

    June 22nd, 2012

    Now Greyscape, it don’t look bad, whadda you think?

    Thumb up 0

     
  27. Debbie

    June 22nd, 2012

    @Chuck….my first thought, too.

    Barry: “F-ing snowstorm!!”
    Mooch: “Barack, git to diggin’, suckah!”

    Thumb up +2

     
  28. Three Rivers

    June 22nd, 2012

    Looks like San Francisco has a new husband in town…

    Thumb up +2

     
  29. Mary Jane Anklestraps

    June 22nd, 2012

    “Barack’s Your Husband, Too”

    No thanks, dude. I like men.
    Oh now THERE’S something Barry and I have in common.

    Thumb up +3

     
  30. The Doktor

    June 22nd, 2012

    I love the smell of desperation in the morning. It smells like…..Hussein Toast.

    Thumb up +1

     
  31. I Luv Bacon

    June 22nd, 2012

    A call from flotus.

    Swinging now a new mandate.

    fuck his ass yourself.

    Thumb up 0

     
  32. Patricia

    June 22nd, 2012

    Help! Just when we think they have finally shovelled to the bottom here comes another unbelievable insult to us all!

    Thumb up +1

     
  33. fubar

    June 22nd, 2012

    they must have hid or removed all the chicken, rib and roast bones from the coffee table in front of her before taking the picture

    Thumb up 0

     
  34. Aidan

    June 22nd, 2012

    Thanks, but no thanks. Stop sharon’ Barack. He’s ALL yours.

    Thumb up 0

     
  35. Dan Ryan Galt

    June 22nd, 2012

    Yes, he would shovel her car out. Now it’s our turn.

    As they say over at The People’s Cube (where you can purchase a Dead Che Tee shirt) ….”report to your Kommissar at the nearest railroad station.
    Don’t forget warm clothes and a shovel!”

    Thumb up 0

     
  36. joe

    June 22nd, 2012

    I’ll take Bullshit for $2000, Alex, and darn if it ain’t a Daily Double.

    Thumb up 0

     
  37. IronyCurtain

    June 22nd, 2012

    I can’t possibly imagine him doing any real work with a shovel unless it was to organize the neighbors to “fight the power of the racist, white snow” and demand compensation from the taxpayers.

    Thumb up +1

     
  38. missinmich

    June 22nd, 2012

    I WANT A DIVORCE!

    Thumb up +1

     
  39. Noelegy

    June 22nd, 2012

    No, sorry: I already was involved with one gay man in denial, in my wasted youth. No need for another.

    Thumb up 0

     
  40. Noelegy

    June 22nd, 2012

    “Barack would head out into the cold — shovel in hand — to dig my car out before I went to work.”

    Um, where else would the shovel be? No, don’t answer that…!

    Thumb up 0

     
  41. Stache

    June 22nd, 2012

    The first draft read “Barry would head out to the course, golf club in hand …”

    Should I be embarassed to admit to @sablegsd
    that I scrolled back up from his comment to see what ESAD had written? (Apparently, Friday morning donuts are NOT brain food.)

    Thumb up +1

     
  42. BarnabyBoog

    June 22nd, 2012

    Josephine laying on the chaise lounge, penning her begging notes for the auto-writer, waiting on her cake….as in “let’em eat….”
    Obobo and Moochie are on their last legs, as the guillotine wratchets upward, waiting for the blade to fall….

    Thumb up 0

     
  43. DebZeppelin

    June 22nd, 2012

    I will not be a party to bigamy!

    Thumb up 0

     
  44. tucsondon

    June 22nd, 2012

    What a heartwarming love story. I think I just swooned a little.

    Thumb up 0

     
  45. John

    June 22nd, 2012

    “He needs my help”…what for, to carry his golf bag?

    Thumb up 0

     
  46. Robert Fine

    June 22nd, 2012

    Ewwww!!!

    Thumb up 0